Cheaper by the Dozen 2 (2005) - Quotes

A Bigger Adventure for a Big Family

Taglines: Same Big Family... Even Bigger Adventure.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Christmas Warning to Be Aware

Taglines: This Christmas You Better Watch Out!

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Holiday Warning Alert

Taglines: This Christmas, you better watch out!

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Sibling Tensions and Parental Interference

Kate: Hey, honey, how'd it... go?

Sarah: Dad was totally spying on me! You ruined everything! There's no way that I'm competing for you in that stupid cup tomorrow!

Kim: I can't believe you did that.

Jessica: Really, Dad, that is so big brother.

Bud: Yeah, let's go.

Nora: Come on, Bud, let's put this baby to bed.

Jake: Not cool, Dad.

Henry: You know, you and Jimmy aren't so different, Dad. Different styles, yeah, but same result. Let's go, guys.

Kate: Oh, honey. Honey, we talked about this, didn't we? The tighter you hang on, the more they're going to pull away, right? I'll go talk to her.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Concern for Movie Appropriateness in Theater

Tom: What are you doing here?

Jimmy: Well, if you must know, I'm still here to make sure that this movie is appropriate for our children.

Tom: It's rated G.

Movie Goer: Sir, could you please sit down?

Jimmy: What are you doing here so early?

Tom: The father of the daughter always arrives early for pickup duty. Everybody knows that.

Theater Usher: Excuse me, is there a problem here?

Jimmy: Yes, this man is harassing me.

Tom: This man is guilty of overparenting.

Theater Usher: If you two can't keep it down, I'm gonna throw both of you out.

Tom: Oh, my God. Look at this.

Jimmy: What? He's stretching.

Tom: He's doing "the move".

Jimmy: What move?

Tom: You're sitting in the theater, you fake a yawn... Oh, boy, am I tired. The hand comes over. Then a little while later, the head comes over, giving you extra reach here, right?

Movie Goer: Mom, look at those two down there.

Tom: See what I mean?

Movie Goer: Oh, sweet Jesus.

Theater Usher: Warning number two.

Jimmy: He was showing me "the move". Do you mind?

Tom: You don't know the move?

Jimmy: No, I don't know the move, okay? And I wasn't a hormone-crazed Romeo when I was a kid. I had self-control. I had social sophistication, just like my son.

Movie Goer: Psst, be quiet down there!

Tom: Your son has raging hormones like every other male teenager.

Jimmy: Meaning what?

Tom: Meaning on the sophistication scale, he's one step above ape.

Jimmy: Are you calling my son an ape?

Tom: He's an ape like every other male teenager.

Jimmy: Take it back.

Tom: I'm not gonna take it back.

Jimmy: Take it... Take it back.

Tom: Were you gonna poke me?

Jimmy: No, I was not gonna poke you.

Tom: You were gonna poke me.

Jimmy: Because you were asking for it.

Tom: Well, if I'm asking for it, why don't you give it to me? Give me a poke.

Jimmy: Oh, you want a poke?

Movie Goer: What's going on down there?

Tom: You call that a poke?

Jimmy: I call that a practice.

Tom: Give me your best poke.

Jimmy: You don't want my best poke.

Tom: I want your best poke.

Jimmy: Oh, you're asking for it!

Tom: I do. Yeah.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Family Dinner Tensions and Future Changes

Nora: I really love having a family dinner where all you can hear is forks hitting the plates. You know, this could be our last chance to be together and you're totally ruining it. I'm glad we're moving to Houston, and so is Iron Mike or Donna Baker Butkus McNulty.

Tom: Bulk up.

Tom: You're burning a hole in my face.

Kate: Tom, you've gotta stop this whole training camp thing.

Tom: This is not some little fence-line squabble, Kate. This is just an epic battle between two families.

Kate: No, no, no, honey. I think this is Tom vs. Jimmy. I'm sorry, General, but you're starting to lose the respect of your troops. And that's dangerous. Give the kids some space.

Tom: Are you asking me to back out of the competition?

Kate: No, honey. It's just that... Especially with Sarah. This is her first crush. Come on.

Tom: What, with Eliot?

Kate: Yes. She needs to know that we trust her. She couldn't come to me and tell me that she wanted to wear makeup. Is that the kind of relationship you want her to have with us?

Negotiating Parental Responsibilities Among Friends

Skippy: Okay, we're willing to let it slide this time if you promise to keep your kids under control.

Tom: I really appreciate that, and we'll take care of it. Thank you.

Jimmy: There you go. Thanks, Skippy.

Skippy: Thank you, Mr. Murtaugh.

Jimmy: You just gonna talk to her, Tom?

Tom: How I discipline my kids is none of your business.

Jimmy: You know, I've been trying to say this in a nice way, but, uh... well, there's a good reason your kids are screw-ups.

Tom: My kids screwed up. They are not screw-ups!

Jimmy: You're not strict enough. Parenting isn't a popularity contest, Tom, but I guess if you knew that, your kids wouldn't be so undisciplined.

Tom: The only problem with my kids is that they're hanging out with your kids!!!!

Jimmy: It wasn't my daughter who got caught stealing.

Tom: And it wasn't my son who trashed a tennis court!

Jimmy: Do you actually think I'm screwing up my kids, Baker?

Tom: Yeah. And one day, they're gonna crack.

Jimmy: Well, why don't we test that theory... on Labor Day!? Murtaughs vs. Bakers... for the cup!

Tom: You're on. We'll see you there.

Family Dynamics and Awkward Moments

Tom: So, Sarah, Eliot seems okay. I see why you like him.

Jake: Somebody's turning red.

Sarah: Shut up! You know, thanks a lot, Dad.

Tom: What did I say?

Kim: Men can be so clueless.

Kate: Honey, men are clueless. I'll go talk to her.

Lorraine: Mom, let me do this, okay? Trust me, I've got experience in the area of parental harassment. Hey, I totally know how you feel. How are you? Dad can be pretty hands-on, in-your-face sometimes, huh?

Sarah: Just leave me alone.

Lorraine: A, I'm never trying to help her again. And B, I cannot wait to move to New York.