Clifford poster

Clifford Quotes

"What's the difference between Clifford and a pit bull? One will tear your heart out, scare your friends and wreck your house. The other one is a dog."

PG 1994 · 1h 29m
52
Audience
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Audience
7 quotes
Clifford
A Moment of Fear and Uncertainty
Clifford Uncle Martin, save me!
Clifford ...Uncle Martin?
Uncle Martin I'm thinking it over!
Clifford Please, I'm scared.
Uncle Martin Well, I'm scared of what might happen if I save you! I mean, maybe I should do mankind a tremendous favor and let that dinosaur eat you! I mean, who knows what horrors you might unleash?! What if you got your hands on some plutonium?! "I just made the bestest nuclear bomb in the whole wide world!
[imitating Clifford]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Clifford
Discussion on Model Changes and Timing
Mr. Ellis Where have you been? You should've been here an hour ago, I've been listening to this idiot for... What are you looking at?
Uncle Martin Nothing.
Mr. Ellis Good. Did you make the changes on the model?
Uncle Martin Yes, I made the changes on the model.
Gerald Ellis Yeah, but you didn't shave. We got the entire press court here, you look like shit.
[walks off]
Uncle Martin I look like shit? Yeah, well, you look like... Willie Nelson.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Clifford
Confrontation Over a Necklace and Responsibilities
Sarah Davis What are you doing spying on me like that?!
Uncle Martin What am I doing? What are YOU doing?! What's with the necklace?
Sarah Davis He didn't give this necklace to me, the whole company gave this to me, and anyway, I have no intention of actually keeping it! You are such a baby! You know, Clifford should be babysitting you!
Uncle Martin Oh, no thanks! I'd prefer babysitters that aren't affiliated with the ].
[[w:Manson Family|Manson family]
Sarah Davis What are you talking about? Where is Clifford?
Uncle Martin Oh, don't worry about Clifford! He'll be happy if you just give him a ton of sugar and a book about ]!
[[w:Adolf Hitler|Hitler]
Sarah Davis What's that supposed to mean?
Uncle Martin I mean Clifford is responsible for me being here! He tricked me into coming to San Francisco!
Sarah Davis Oh, come on, now! Why would he do that?
Uncle Martin Why would he do that?! Because he wanted to throw a party! That's why he would do that! You don't know the first thing about Hitler-Clifford! He's a lying, conniving, evil little monster!
Sarah Davis You see, Martin, that is the reason why you and I can never get married! If-if Clifford were your own son, you'll be talking about in the same way. It was all a big act, wasn't it? The-the special relationship with Clifford, the loving uncle. Well, let me tell you something, you're a phony! Believe me, I can spot a phony a mile away.
Drag Queen Excuse me, honey, have you seen a great collie dog around here?
Sarah Davis No, ma'am. I haven't. That's why I feel sorry for you, Martin. Because you're just going to end up one, very lonely old man.
Uncle Martin Well, I feel sorry for you! (she sighs and walk away with door open and look to Martin) Don't think you won't age. (she walks away and door closes) Don't call me a lonely old man and a phony.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Clifford
Misunderstanding About Travel Plans
Julien Ow-! Augh! Damn it, Clifford! Why did you wake me?
Clifford I didn't wake you, Stefan did! WHY wouldn't you let him sleep?! But now that you are awake, I would like to ask you, my papa, when we land in Los Angeles, can we immediately go to Dinosaur World?
Julien How many times do I have to tell you, son?! The plane doesn't go to Los Angeles! It goes directly to Honolulu.
[instantly pissed off]
Clifford But how can that be, pappy?
Julien How can what be?
Clifford That on my birthday, of all days, I could feel so close to Dinosaur World, yet it's so far away?
Julien Don't you start with me! Your birthday was six months ago!
Theodora Clifford...daddy's on a business- a business trip. And this is not a vacation. No.
[also waking up, completely stoned]
Julien So will you drop this whole Dinosaur World thing for five seconds, huh?! Will you do that for me?! Huh?! Will you?! Oh, boy! You're driving me crazy!
Clifford Uh-oh! Look like daddy's gonna have a big stroke! And then he'll be talking like this.
[talking funny]
Julien Ooh, I swear to god--!
Theodora CLIFFORD!!! Can't you stop for just a whole minute?!
Clifford Whatever you say, sweet one who birthed me!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Clifford
Misunderstandings About Compliments and Consequences
Uncle Martin Bad boy, Clifford! BAD boy! I don't know what to say to you! I'm shocked! You could've given that child's parents a heart attack. If they press charges, you could end up in prison. And the wasted time, I happen to be very busy, young man! The entire city of Los Angeles is relying on ME for public transit! My boss is breathing down my neck. That was so embarrassing with Mr. Ellis! PLEASE don't ever tell someone that they have a nice wig!
Clifford I said it was the bestest looking wig I ever saw. It was a complement.
Uncle Martin He says he doesn't wear a wig, and a person doesn't take it as a complement if you say "nice wig.
Clifford But I didn't say "nice wig," Uncle Martin, I said "bestest looking wig." I believe there is a difference.
Uncle Martin How is it that you're such an authority on wigs?
Clifford Because my teacher, Mr. Cavanaugh, wears a wig. He lets us play with it at recess sometimes.
Uncle Martin You-your teacher lets you play with his wig?!
Clifford Frisbee! (makes flying Frisbee motion with his hand) Mrs. Gathercold, the art teacher borrows it as well. That would be for different reasons.
Uncle Martin Let's just forget about the wig! But I gotta punish you, and that means Dinosaur World is out.
Clifford I don't understand.
Uncle Martin I've got a bombshell for you, young man. I happen to be the boss in this house, and you cannot fight city hall.
Clifford But surely, Uncle Martin, someone as wise and worldly as you would realize that breaking a little boy's promise and then punishing him for it, would be a terrible, terrible thing. I would imagine that little boy wouldn't be responsible for what he's gonna do next.
Uncle Martin See, now that sounds like a threat to me and I don't like threats. So you're gonna spend the rest of your day in your room. Now YOU march, young man! March!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Clifford
Chaos Unfolds Over a Stolen Walkman
Julien Where is that little monster?!
Theodora Julien, please!
Julien Well, you did it, didn't ya?! You did it again, didn't ya?! You're banned from the flight. They're not gonna allow you back on that plane, which means that I'm gonna miss the convention tomorrow, which means that I'm gonna lose thousands of dollars in speaker's fees! Do you understand me?! Do you understand what-where did you get that Walkman? Did you steal it? OH, MY GOD!!! Is there no end to your madness?!
Clifford No-no, a tiny old priest gave it to me, da!
Julien You're lying.
Clifford No!
Julien You're lying to your own father's face! I have every good right to leave you right here, you little animal!
Obese lady What a terrible thing to say to such a sweet child!
Julien I'm dreadfully sorry, Mrs. Extra wide load! What are you packing in now, huh?! About two dozen jelly doughnuts a day, huh?!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Clifford
Accountability and Consequences in the Workplace
Mr. Ellis Who the hell is responsible for this?!
Uncle Martin I am.
Mr. Ellis You're fired!
Uncle Martin Of course I am.
Mr. Ellis And by the way... I happen to love Willie Nelson.
[steps up to Martin; storms off]
Uncle Martin I underestimated the evil one. Oh, Clifford. What shall we do? Whatever shall we do now?
[menacingly calm]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.