Cocktail (1988) - Quotes

Unrecognized Excellence in Talent

Taglines: They thought he was good, they were wrong... he was the best.

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The Power of Pouring

Taglines: When he pours, he reigns.

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Future Aspirations of Parenthood and Business

Brian Flanagan: If Jordan gives birth to a fine Irish son,There be Cocktails and Dreams for him one day to run.A business that shall yield a financial windfall...

Uncle Pat: It better!

Brian Flanagan: [laughs] To be franchised in every suburban shopping mall.Now, if a daughter arrives to bless our clan,I guess the shit will certainly hit the fan.But this I shall promise to thee:I'll never let her marry a guy like me.Still if our child is the naughtiest of girls or the wildest of young men,I swear I'll be the best dad I can.And never ever get spooked again.

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Training for Stardom and Alcohol Consumption

Doug: You are in training my son.

Brian: In training for what?

Doug: For stardom. No matter how liberal this world may become, a man will always be judged on the amount of alcohol he can consume, and women will be impressed with it, whether they like it or not!

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Strategies for Success in Business

Uncle Pat: [On how to succeed in business] You outwork, outthink, outscheme and outmanuever. You make no friends. You trust nobody. And you make damn sure you're the smartest guy in the room whenever the subject of money comes up.

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Reflections on Life and Departures

Doug Coughlin: [in his suicide note to Brian; chuckles bitterly] My dearest Brian, A guy like me looks in the mirror, he either grins, or he starts to fade away. And I haven't seen anything to grin about in a long time. This may not be the most graceful exit, but I know when the bottle's empty. The only thing I'm really going to miss is the conversations we had. At least I get the last word, even if I had to mail it in. Coughlin's Law: Bury the dead. They stink up the joint. As for the rest of Coughlin's Laws, ignore them. The guy was always full of shit. But I guess you knew that already.

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Embracing the Last Remnants of Indulgence

Doug Coughlin: The luck is gone, the brain is shot, but the liquor we still got.

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The Importance of Discretion in Relationships

Doug Coughlin: Never tell tales about a woman, she'll hear you no matter how far away she is.

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Coughlin's Philosophy on Life and Aspirations

Doug Coughlin: Coughlin's Diet: Cocktails and dreams.

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Judgment by Alcohol Consumption in Society

Doug Coughlin: I don't care how liberated this world becomes - a man will always be judged by the amount of alcohol he can consume - and a woman will be impressed, whether she likes it or not.

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The Bartender's Role in Society

Doug Coughlin: A bartender is the aristocrat of the working class.

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The Pursuit of Better Alternatives

Doug Coughlin: Anything else is always something better.

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Workers versus Hustlers in Life

Doug Coughlin: You see, there are two kinds of people in this world, the workers and the hustlers. The hustlers never work and the workers never hustle and you my friend, are a worker.

Coughlin's Law on Composure and Surprise

Doug Coughlin: Coughlin's Law: Never show surprise, never lose your cool.

Rejection of Charm and Allure

Jordan Mooney: Your sexy smile isn't gonna work this time.

Embracing Change and Self-Acceptance

Jordan Mooney: I am going to be VERY fat, and YOU are gonna love it!

The Passage of Time and Life's Cycles

Brian Flanagan: Days get shorter and shorter, nights longer and longer, before you know it, your life is just one long night with a few comatose daylight hours.

The Artistry of Cocktail Creation

Brian Flanagan: I am the world's last barman poet! I see America drinking the fabulous cocktails I make.America is getting stinking on something I stir or shake.The Sex On The Beach...the Schnapps made from peach!The Velvet Hammer...the Alabama Slammer!I make things with juice and froth, the Pink Squirrel...the 3 Toed Sloth.I make drinks so sweet and snazzy, the Iced Tea...the Kamikazi!The Orgasm...the Death Spasm.The Singapore Sling...the Ding a Ling.America you're just devoted to every flavor I've got, but if you want to get loaded...why don't you just order a shot!Bar's open!!