12 quotes
Celebrating Divine Creation in Beauty Pageants
Reverend Brown
I didn't come to preach to you today...But you know, when I look at these contestants! For the Miss Black Awareness Pageant, I feel good! I feel good, because I know there's a God somewhere! There's a God somewhere! Turn around ladies for me please! You know there's a God who sits on high and looks down low! Man cannot make it like this! ]! ]! They can take the picture, but they can't make it! Only God above, the Hugh Hefner on high, can make it for ya!
[looking at the behinds of the Miss Black Awareness pageant contestants; [w:Larry Flynt|Larry Flynt; [w:Hugh Hefner|Hugh Hefner]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Prince Akeem's Journey to America
Taglines
This summer, Prince Akeem discovers America.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Conversation About Unrequited Feelings
Queen Aoleon
Are you all right, my dear?
Lisa McDowell
No, it's just that...I got to get out of here.
Queen
What did you say to her?
[after Lisa leaves]
King Jaffe Joffer
I told her the truth, that Akeem cannot be interested in her.
Queen
How can you be so sure?
King
Oh, come now. Our son cannot consort with such a girl.
Cleo McDowell
Now, wait a minute!
King
Oha. I know you have been inconvenienced and I am prepared to compensate you. Shall we say, one million American dollars?
[Oha writes in checkbook]
Cleo
No way.
King
Very well, then, two million.
[to Oha]
Cleo
You don't have enough money to buy my daughter off.
[tears away the check Oha's writing on]
King
Nonsense.
Queen
Jaffe, apologize to Mr. McDowell.
King
I will do no such thing. The man is beneath me and so is his daughter.
Cleo
I don't give a damn who you are. This is America, Jack. Now, you say one more word about Lisa, and I'll break my foot off in your royal ass!
[agitated]
King
Pardon me?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Debate on Boxing Legends and Their Legacy
Clarence
You must be out your goddamn mind! Joe Louis, the greatest boxer that ever lived. I'll be with you boys in a minute. He was badder than Cassius Clay, he was badder than Sugar Ray, and that new boy-what's his name? ]?-looks like a bulldog; he was badder than him, too. He could whoop Mike Tyson's ass! He could whoop all of they ass!
[to Akeem and Semmi; [Mike Tyson]
Saul
Vait a minute. Vat about ]?
[[Rocky Marciano]
Clarence
Oh, there they go. There they go, every time I start talkin bout boxing, a white man got to pull Rocky Marciano out they ass. That's their one, that's their one. Rocky Marciano! Rocky Marciano! Let me tell you something, once and for all-Rocky Marciano was good; but compared to Joe Louis, Rocky Marciano ain't shit.
Saul
He beat Joe Louis ass.
Morris
That's right, he did whoop Joe Louis ass.
Clarence
Joe Louis was 75 years old when they fought.
Morris
I don't know how old he was, but he got his ass whooped.
Clarence
Joe Louis had come out of retirement to fight Rocky Marciano the minute he was 76 years old. Joe Louis was always lying about his age. He lied about his age all the time. One time Frank Sinatra came in here and sat in this chair. I said Frank you hang out with Joe Louis, just between me and you, how old is Joe Louis? You know what Frank told me, he said "Hey, Joe Louis is 137 years old." A hundred and thirty-seven years old!
Sweets
Oh. Man, you lying, you ain't never meet no Frank Sinatra.
Clarence
Fuck you, fuck you, and fuck you! Who's next?
[points to Morris, Saul and Sweets]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Faith and Support in Times of Need
Reverend Brown
Now I want you to reach onto God's unchanging hand. He helped Joshua fight the Battle of Jericho. He helped Daniel escape the lion's den. He helped Gilligan get off the island.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Emotional Confrontation Between Akeem and Lisa
Prince Akeem
Lisa, please. I did not mean to hurt you.
Lisa McDowell
Well, at least I know who gave me these. Well, you can keep em. I don't want them and I don't want you!
[Removes earrings; throws earrings at Akeem]
Akeem
Lisa, Lisa-
[follows Lisa to another car]
Lisa
Look, just leave me alone!
Akeem
Lisa, please. I love you.
Lisa
What about the woman you're supposed to marry?
Akeem
I do not love her. Why do you think I came to America?
Lisa
Oh, your father told me to sow your royal oats!
Akeem
Oh, no. I came to America to find my bride. I came to Queens to find you.
Lisa
So why did you lie to me? Why didn't you just say that you were a prince?
Akeem
Because I wanted you to love me for who I am.
Lisa
I'm not sure who you are anymore.
Akeem
I'm the man you fell in love with. Should it matter that I am a prince?
Lisa
You shouldn't, but I-
Akeem
Just tell me you didn't love me when you thought I was a goat herder, and I will never bother you ever again.
Lisa
It just wouldn't work out, we're too different. You're royalty, for God's sake!
[thinks about what Akeem said]
Akeem
You want me to renounce my throne? I will. From this moment on, I renounce my throne. I'm no longer the prince of Zamunda. I renounce my throne! Does this make you happy?
[calls out to passengers; back to Lisa after passengers feel indifferent]
Lisa
I can't let you do that.
[looks at nearby passengers]
Akeem
I do not care about my crown. All I care about is you. Marry me, Lisa.
Black Man
So what do you think?
[to white woman beside him]
White Woman
Go on, honey. Take a chance!
Lisa
Look, I'm sorry I can't. Goodbye Akeem.
[after train arrives at next stop; Tearful]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Eddie Murphy: America's Funniest Man
Taglines
The Four Funniest Men in America are Eddie Murphy.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Affections in a Complicated Situation
Lisa McDowell
He said he had to leave.
Cleo McDowell
Well, he can't leave!
Lisa
What is going on? And why have you become nice to Akeem all of a sudden?
Cleo
I like the boy!
Lisa
What are you up to?
Cleo
What? Nothing. I mean, a man has got a right to change his mind, doesn't he?
Lisa
Daddy...
Cleo
You know, you two could make a beautiful couple.
Lisa
Daddy...
Cleo
He's a real fine young man.
Lisa
Dad!
[Snaps]
Cleo
Okay, Lisa. He's rich. He is rich!
[Excited]
Lisa
What?!
Cleo
He got his own money and, baby, when I tell you he's got his own money, I mean the boy has gotten his own money! A prince. He's a prince! Oh, Lisa, you did it this time. You hit the jackpot. Your little goat herder makes Darryl look like a welfare case!
[Hands Lisa a 100 Zamunda pound note]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Misunderstanding Cultural Differences in Sports
Darryl
So, what do you people play in Africa? Chase the monkey?
[sarcastically]
Akeem
No, our favorite game there is football, but I believe you call it SOCCER!!!
[Patrice rubs him]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Encounter with a Landlord
Landlord
Okay, now what the fuck do you want?
[brusque]
Prince Akeem
We desire a room.
Landlord
Look, you better not be wasting my time. You got money? Come on in, gentlemen.
[angered; Semmi holds up a large clip of money; landlord becomes cheerful]
Landlord
Excuse me, if I was brusque, but sometimes we get booboos in here without a dollar to their name. You boys obviously came in on another boat.
Prince Akeem
We seek meager accommodations.
Landlord
Excuse me?
Prince Akeem
We require a room that is very poor.
[Man tumbles down stairwell]
Landlord
Hey Stu, your rent is due, motherfucker! And don't be pulling that falling down the stairs shit on me y'hear, are you conscious!?
Landlord
All right, there is only one bathroom on this floor, so you will have to share it. Got a bit of an insect problem, but you boys from Africa are used to that. Also, whatever you do, do not use the elevator; it is a death trap. This room is facing the wall; used to rent it to a blind man. Damn shame what they did to that dog.
[Gives brief tour of bathroom, which is festering with bugs; Approaches a door with police caution tape; landlord removes tape and opens door; Semmi looks in disgust as a rat travels around the floor with chalk marks of a man and a dog]
Prince Akeem
We will take the room!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Family Tensions Over Son's Happiness
King Jaffe Joffer
You're still not speaking to me.
[smiling]
Queen Aoleon
I only want our son to be happy.
King
So do I. Aoleon please. Come now, it is out of our hands, the girl told him no.
Queen
Well after the way you treated her, who could blame her?
King
Even if she agreed, they still could not marry, it is against the tradition.
Queen
Well, it is a stupid tradition!
King
Who am I to change it?
Queen
I thought you were the King?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Akeem's Enthusiasm Meets Neighborhood Hostility
Akeem
Behold, Semmi. Life. Real life! A thing that we have been denied for far too long! Good morning, my neighbors!
[shouts]
Neighbor
Hey, fuck you!
Akeem
Yes, yes. Fuck you too!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.