18 quotes
Conflict Over Senso Rings and Responsibilities
Beldar Conehead
AAAHHHH, SENSO RINGS! Where did you GET THOSE?!
Connie Conehead
Under your bed?
Beldar Conehead
UNACCEPTABLE! YOUR CONE IS TOO YOUNG! Get up! You are coming to Remulak RIGHT NOW!
Connie Conehead
I am staying with Ronnie!
Beldar Conehead
Maintain low tones. Impossible! Undesirable! Inadvisable!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Threats of Force and Unacceptability
Beldar Conehead
I find you unacceptable! If I did not fear incarceration by human authority figures, I would terminate your life functions by applying sufficient force to your blunt skull so as to cause its collapse!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Open Communication in Relationships
Prymatt Conehead
You know, Connie, I read in a magazine that you can talk to me about anything.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Impending Calamity Acknowledged by Coneheads
Gorman Seedling
Do you agree that the world is headed for a terrible calamity?
Beldar Conehead
Most definitely. In fact, I have direct, personal knowledge that this is so.
Eli Turnbull
Great, may we come in?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Reluctant Acceptance of Circumstances
Beldar Conehead
Very well. What choice do I have? It is as if you have seized me at the base of my snarglies!
[about waiting on his car repairs]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Father's Gift to His Child
Beldar Conehead
It is not every day a father can give the world to his child.
[to Connie, after coming back to Earth]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Weekend Gathering with Food and Fun
Prymatt
Perhaps you and Larry will join us for the consumption of mass quantities this weekend. We will ignite our new flame pit and char some mammal flesh for you.
Lisa
That sounds like fun. I'll make coleslaw.
Prymatt
Ah, coleslaw. We will enjoy it.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Conversation on Writing and Beliefs
Highmaster
Let it be written... are you writing this?
Ronnie
Whoa! My mother is the only one who could take a sandwich like that.
[seeing Connie eat]
Gorman Seedling
You just can't talk religion with some people!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Consequences of Displeasing the High Master
Beldar Conehead
When the High Master hears of this, he will surely cut off my plargh and hand it to me.
[about being stranded on Earth]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Prymatt Conehead's Unusual Birth Announcement
Prymatt Conehead
My plubar has broken,....the birth spasm has begun.
[going into labour]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Alien Responsibility and Jurisdiction Debate
Eli Turnbull
Excuse me, sir, but should they be in fact, creatures from another planet, isn't that the Air Force's responsibility?
Gorman Seedling
If they're just visiting, sure... but the minute they try to work here, they're mine!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Understanding the Ford Lincoln Mercury Sable
Beldar
An owner's manual to a Ford Lincoln Mercury Sable.
Highmaster
Ford Lincoln Mercury Sable?
Beldar
A personal conveyance named after its inventor, an assassinated ruler, a character from Greco-Roman myth, and a small furry mammal.
Highmaster
Ah.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Beldar Conehead Advocates for Quiet Communication
Beldar Conehead
Maintain low tones with me, maintain low tones.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Despair in the Face of Loss
Beldar Conehead
If, for some reason your life functions ceased, my most precious one, I would collapse, I would draw the shades and I would live in the dark. I would never get out of my slar pad or clean myself. My fluids would coagulate, my cone would shrivel, and I would die, miserable and lonely. The stench would be great.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Lunch Break Announcement
Beldar
It is time for mid-day cessation of activities for carbo-protein intake.
Otto
Yeah, sure. Take a lunch break.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Discussion of Social Security Status
Otto
Beldar, you tryin to tell me you don't got a social security number?
Beldar
Correct.
Otto
Why not?
Beldar
I am an illegal alien.
Otto
I knew you were too good to be true! Every time I make some money, this happens!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Prioritizing Safety for Prom Night Outings
Beldar Conehead
The frightening statistics of young earthlings mangling themselves in internal combustion vehicles on the night of prom ritual makes me insist that you use maximum safety awareness, return at the predesignated time coordinates, and, in fact, take my car. Its reinforced alloy superstructure is far superior to that of your broken down, rusted out shitbox.
[to Ronnie]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Uncomfortable Compliments in Formal Attire
Beldar
You look handsome, yet uncomfortable in your pubescent ceremonial garb.
Ronnie
Yeah... You mean my tux, right?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.