Dave Quotes

Dave So uh your job is to protect the president all the time, that's that's your whole job Right?

Duane Yes.

Dave Do you have a gun?

Duane Yes.

Dave You ever use it?

Duane Not yet.

Dave You know, I've always wondered about you guys. You know, about how you're trained to take a bullet for the president?

Duane What about it?

Dave Is that really true? I mean, would you let yourself be killed to save his life?

Duane Certainly.

Dave So, now that means you'd get killed for me too.

Taglines In a country where anybody can become President, anybody just did.

Dave Kovic If you've ever seen the look on somebody's face the day they finally get a job, I've had some experience with this, they look like they could fly. And it's not about the paycheck, it's about respect, it's about looking in the mirror and knowing that you've done something valuable with your day. And if one person could start to feel this way, and then another person, and then another person, soon all these other problems may not seem so impossible. You don't really know how much you can do until you, stand up and decide to try.

Taglines Dave Kovic was an ordinary guy who was asked to impersonate the President. When they gave him a chance to make the country better...he did.

Dave She hates Me.

Alan Reed & Bob Alexander Yes!

Dave Kovic Hail to the chief / He's the one we all say "Hail" to. / We all say "Hail" / Cause he keeps himself so clean! / He's got the power, / That's why he's in the shower...

Bob Alexander I'm going to kill him.

Alan Reed You can't kill a President.

Bob Alexander He's not a President. He's an ordinary person. I can kill an ordinary person.

Alan Reed Bob.

Bob Alexander I can kill a hundred ordinary people.

Bob Alexander What do you think you're doing?

Dave What? Oh, you mean the press conference. I had a couple of ideas that I wanted to share with the country.

Bob Alexander Share? Share? You don't call a press conference. I call a press conference. You're nothing. Do you understand? You're nobody.

Dave I'm not nobody.

Bob Alexander You're LINT! You're a FLEA! You're a BLIP!

Dave Well... maybe I am. But you're fired.

Dave Kovic She's great. She's really exotic. She's a princess. She's Polynesian — well, half Polynesian, and half American. She's... Amnesian.

Dave Kovic I forgot that I was hired to do a job for you and that it was just a temp job at that. I forgot that I had two hundred and fifty million people who were paying me to make their lives a little better and I didn't live up to my part of the bargain. See, there are certain things you should expect from a President. I ought to care more about you than I do about me... I ought to care more about what's right than I do about what's popular. I ought to be willing to give this whole thing up for something I believe in.

Alan Reed Bob, at some point we're gonna have to call the Vice President.

Bob Alexander Don't call the Vice President.

Alan Reed What?

Bob Alexander Just don't call him, Al.

Alan Reed The guy's in a coma, Bob.

Bob Alexander I don't give a shit.

Alan Reed Bob.

Bob Alexander This is mine, Alan. All mine. I made him, I built him. And no Boy Scout is going to come in here and take it away from me, just because he happens to be Vice President of the United States.

Dave I don't want to tell some eight-year-old kid he's gotta sleep in the street because we want people to feel better about their car. Do you want to tell them that?

Secretary of Commerce No, sir. No, I sure don't.

Ellen Mitchell So, what do you do for a living?

Dave You mean, when I'm not running the country?

Ellen Mitchell Yeah.

Dave I run a temp agency. You know, secretaries and stuff.

Ellen Mitchell So you find people jobs.

Dave Yes.

Dave What? What's so funny?

Ellen Mitchell It's just, it's more than most people do around here.

Dave According to the ], we have seventeen defense contractors who are delinquent in their contracts. Is this true, Frank?

Director of OMB Uh, I believe so, yes.

Dave So, even though they're late, we keep paying them on time?

Director of OMB Well, in a sense... Yeah.