22 quotes
The Distortion of Personal Truths
Harry Block
All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it.
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Betrayal Among Friends in Deconstructing Harry
Taglines
Harry Block wrote a bestseller about his best friends. Now, his best friends are about to become his worst enemies.
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Reflections on Presidential Attitudes Toward Women
Harry Block
Does the president think of fucking every woman he meets? Ah, bad example.
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A Writer's Betrayal Leads to Consequences
Taglines
Harry Block has written a best seller... about his best friends... he revealed their deepest secrets... and they're not pleased... now Harry Block is going to Hell...
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Life's Ups and Downs: The House Always Wins
The Devil
You're not a fun guy. You're too angry at life.
Harry Block
Well, I've got a lot to be angry about!
The Devil
Who doesn't? But sooner or later you gotta back off. It's like Vegas. Sometimes you're up, sometimes you're down, but in the end the house always wins. Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
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Truth and Belief in Relationships
Joan
Tell me, Harry, just tell me something. Was she the only one, or were there others?
Harry Block
No, Amy Pollock was the only one, may God strike me dead if I am lying.
Joan
You're an atheist, Harry!
Harry Block
Wha-hey, we're alone in the universe, you're going to blame that on me, too?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Elevator Stops at Troubling Floors of Society
Elevator in Hell
Floor five: Subway muggers, aggressive panhandlers, and book critics. Floor six: Right-wing extremists, serial killers, lawyers who appear on television. Floor seven: The media. Sorry, that floor is all filled up. Floor eight: Escaped war criminals, TV evangelists, and the NRA.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Conflict Between Lucy and Harry
Lucy
You schmuck, you bastard! I'd like to cut your fuckin head off!
Harry Block
You're upset, right?
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Conflict in a Heated Encounter
Harry's Father
Harry!
Harry Block
Dad?
Harry's Father
Get me out of here! This is terrible! You know I could never stand hot weather.
Harry Block
What is he doing here?
[to demon leading his father in chains]
Demon
He's condemned to eternal suffering.
Harry's father
Help me!
Harry Block
I don't understand. I demand to know the charges.
Demon
He behaved unconscionably toward his son. He accused the boy of committing a capital crime merely by being born.
Harry's Father
Your wife," they told me, "is dead, but your son is thriving." Why did he fight not to be born?
Harry Block
Look, I forgive him. What's over is over. Let him go to Heaven, please!
Harry's Father
I'm a Jew. We don't believe in Heaven.
Harry Block
Where do you want to go?
Harry's Father
To a Chinese restaurant.
Harry Block
Take him to Joy Luck.
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The Devil's Experience in Hollywood
The Devil
You know, I've had a lot of jobs in your world.
Harry Block
Really? Like what?
The Devil
For two years I ran a Hollywood studio. But you can't trust those people.
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The Devil's Perspective on Gratitude
The Devil
You ever fuck a blind girl?
Harry Block
No, that I never did.
The Devil
Ooh, they're so grateful.
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Delusions of Popularity in Deconstructing Harry
Harry Block
I think you're the opposite of a paranoid. I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
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Historical Awareness and Its Consequences
Burt
Do you care even about the Holocaust, or do you think it never happened?
Harry Block
Not only do I know that we lost 6 million, but the scary thing is that records are made to be broken.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Work and Sex: Harry Block's Perspective
Harry Block
The two most important things are the work you choose and sex.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Preference for Comfort Over Authority
Harry Block
Between the Pope and air conditioning, I'll take air conditioning.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Ironic Honor for a Controversial Student
Harry Block
The ironic thing is that the school that kicked me out is honoring me soon.
Shrink
Why did they kick you out?
Harry Block
Because I wasn't interested in college. I wanted to be a writer and that's all I cared about. Also, I tried to give the Dean's wife an enema. They didn't take kindly to that.
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Understanding Black Holes in Everyday Life
Harry Block
Cookie, do you know what a black hole is?
Cookie
Sure, it's how I make my livin'!
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Cynicism and Sarcasm in Politics
Doris
You have no values. With you it's all nihilism, cynicism, sarcasm, and orgasm.
Harry Block
Hey, in France I could run for office with that slogan, and win!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Devil's Air Conditioning Joke
The Devil
Want me to turn up the air conditioning?
Harry Block
What? You're air-conditioned here?
The Devil
Sure! Fucks up the ozone layer!
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Perspectives on Jobs: Waitressing vs. Sex Work
Harry Block
Every hooker I ever speak to tells me that it beats the hell out of waitressing. Waitressing's gotta be the worst fucking job in the world.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Self-Identity and Cultural Reflection in Dialogue
Doris
You're a self-hating Jew!
Harry Block
Hey, I may hate myself, but not because I'm Jewish.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Beauty of Benign Words
Harry Block
The most beautiful words in the English language are not "I love you" but "It's benign".
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.