11 quotes
Family Tensions During a Road Trip
Susan
You fixed the GPS to drive here. You tricked us, and now we're gonna be late to Meemaw's birthday.
Frank
I don't even think we're gonna make it in time.
Greg
You embarrassed me in front of everyone, Mom! Now I'm gonna be known as Diaper Hands forever!
[frees himself from his mother's grip; infuriated]
Susan
It'll blow over. You know what won't? You lying to me. I just wanted to have a nice family trip where we all spent time together. But you don't care about that.
Greg
Well, you don't care about the things I love, either! If you did, I wouldn't have had to sneak away to get to this place!
Susan
I give up. Take my phone. Play games. Enjoy yourself. I'm done fighting.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Wimp Will Rise in Adversity
Taglines
A Wimp Will Rise
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unplugged Road Trip Rules Enforced
Manny
I'm texting.
Susan
Oh, no. No devices on this trip.
Greg
What do you mean?
Susan
This is an unplugged road trip. No phones, no iPads, no Internet.
Rodrick
What?!
Susan
Just family time. The only connection we're gonna do, is with each other. Everyone, hand over your devices.
Greg
You tricked us!
Rodrick
This is totally not cool.
Greg
Kids at school get way more screen time than I do!
Rodrick
I'm not giving up my phone. Pfft!
Greg
Yeah! If he's not givin up his phone, I'm not givin up mine.
Rodrick
If he's not giving up, I'm not giving mine up. Who do you think you are, bossing us around?
Greg
You want me to read. I'm reading text! What's the difference?
Rodrick
You're the worst mom ever!
Greg
Yeah!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Misunderstanding a Mini-Safe for a Microwave
Rowley
I got us a microwave pizza.
[He types the security code on a mini-safe]
Frank
Rodrick, that's a mini-safe.
Rodrick
And they disguised it as a microwave.
[shakes the mini-safe door]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Connection with Each Other Matters Most
Susan Heffley
The only connection we're gonna do, is with each other.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Microwave Pizza and Its Disguise
Rodrick Heffley
I got us a microwave pizza. And they disguised it as a microwave.
[he puts the pizza on a black box which is usually a safe which is locked up tight instead of a microwave]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Mother's Ultimatum on Video Games
Susan Heffley
Greg Heffley! You are grounded for life! And I swear, never again will you play a video game as long as there is breath in my body.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Family Dining Debate at Corny's
Greg
Do we have to come to Corny's? This place is for babies.
[stepping out]
Rodrick
Then you fit right in, Greggy.
Susan
It's not a place for babies, it's a place for family-style dining, right, Frank?
Frank
That's right. And the buffet's all-you-can-eat, so take advantage.
Rowley
Thanks for inviting me, Mr. and Mrs. Heffley. I hear their ball pit is super deep!
[excitedly]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Reluctant Offer Between Family Members
Greg
You want one?
Susan
Oh, Greg, I wouldn't encourage them.
Greg
There's only one.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Potty Training Comparison: A Mother's Frustration
Susan Heffley
The pig's better potty trained than you, Greg.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
An Unplugged Family Road Trip Experience
Susan Heffley
This is an unplugged road trip.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.