Evolution (2001) - Quotes

Taglines: Coming to wipe that silly smile off your planet.

Taglines: Have a nice end of the world.

Dr. Allison Reed: There's something I've been wanting to tell you, but I don't know exactly how.

Ira Kane: Well, we're all adults here, and we're all about to die a very horrible death anyway, so?

Reed: I would've rocked your world.

Kane: You already have.

Ira Kane: Ira Kane, head of the science department, Glen Canyon Community College.

Harry Block: Harry Block, United States Geological Survey.

Wayne Grey: Wayne Grey. Did some chemistry in high school.

Harry Block: Wayne! I think we've established that "Ca-caw, ca-caw" and "Tookie, tookie" don't work.

Wayne Grey: [starts singing into the mike] Right. Sorry. You are so beautiful to me.

Ira Kane: Step back, Harry, I'm gonna shoot him.

Block: Uh-uh, stand down. I'm taking this one out myself.

Grey: You are so beautiful to me.

Block: [slightly mutters] Wayne, would you please stop? You're embarrassing me.

Dr. Allison Reed: What do we do?

Dr. Paulson: We might have to amputate.

Nurse Tate: Saw.

Harry Block: Whoa, Doc, don't take my leg! Ira, don't let them take my leg.

Ira Kane: Isn't there anything else you can do? He thinks he's an athlete.

Nurse Tate: Wait, doctor, look.

Paulson: [looks in bug inside, crawling] Ooh. It's headed for his testicles.

Block: Take it, take it! Take the leg!!

Reed: Wait, wait, wait!

Block: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!

Reed: It's going the other way.

Paulson: Alright, give me some forceps. I might be able to catch it in his colon.

Reed: How are you going in?

Paulson: Rectally.

Harry: [squealing] NOOOO!

Tate: I'll get the lubricant.

Paulson: There's no time for lubricant.

Harry: THERE'S ALWAYS TIME FOR LUBRICANT!!

Ira Kane: Hey, cool. Snag one.

Harry Block: Snag one?

Kane: Yeah, snag one and put it in the bucket.

Block: I've seen this movie, the black dude dies first. You snag it.

Harry Block: Keep your chin up. You know she wanted to give you some, didn't you?

Ira Kane: Were you even in that courtroom?

Block: Getting barbecued like baby back ribs? It's all foreplay, baby.

Kane: [upon discovering that their lab's been ransacked] Oh, we've been hit!

Block: Forget the foreplay. We just got screwed!

Harry Block: [during the second expedition to the meteorite cavern, to Ira about Dr. Reed; mocks Reed while "demonstrating" sex] All she needs is a good humping. Oh Ira! I-i-i-i-ra...OOOH IRA!

Ira Kane: Let's shampoo us some aliens!!

Ira Kane: Allow me to share something with the entire class. Last night as I was grading papers, I came across two gems both entitled "Cells are Bad" and both with just one paragraph which I unfortunately committed to memory: "Cells are bad. My uncle lives in a cell. It's ten foot by twelve and he has to read the same old, boring magazine everyday. The end". And although my standards are nowhere near where they used to be, I still could not bring myself to put an "A" on top of those beauties. I hope you understand, guys.