32 quotes
The Evolving Concept of Home and Family
Andrew Largeman
You know that point in your life when you realize that the house that you grew up in isn't really your home anymore? All of the sudden even though you have some place where you can put your shit that idea of home is gone.
Sam
I still feel at home in my house.
Andrew Largeman
You'll see when you move out. It just sort of happens one day, one day and it's just gone. And you can never get it back. It's like you get homesick for a place that doesn't even exist. I don't know maybe it's like this rite of passage, you know. You won't have this feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself, you know, for your kids, for the family you start. It's like a cycle or something. I miss the idea of it. Maybe that's all family really is. A group of people who miss the same imaginary place.
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Embracing the Breeze of Freedom
Sam
My hair's blowin in the wind.
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Desire for Immediate Action and Excitement
Mark
Come on, please. If I was going to get you coke we would've gone to the fucking high school football practice. We would've been rolling five hours ago.
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A Song That Promises Life-Changing Impact
Sam
You gotta hear this one song. It'll change your life, I swear.
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The Complexity of Honest Deception
Sam
OK, so, sometimes I lie. I mean I'm weird, man, about random stuff too. I don't even know why I do it. It's like... it's like a tic. I mean sometimes I hear myself say something and think, "Wow, that wasn't even remotely true".
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Defending Personal Interests and Boundaries
Mark
Don't tease me about my hobbies. I don't tease you about being an asshole.
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The Impact of Small Decisions on Life
Andrew Largeman (Large)
It's amazing how much of my life has been determined by a quarter inch piece of plastic.
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Exploring the Infinite Abyss Together
Andrew Largeman
Good luck exploring the infinite abyss.
Albert
Thanks...Hey, you too.
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Seize Your Unique Opportunity
Sam
This is your one opportunity to do something that no one has ever done before, and that no one will copy throughout human existence. And if nothing else, you will be remembered as the one guy who ever did this. This one thing.
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The Burden of Monetary Favors
Mark
The only thing worse than a favor is a favor involving money.
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The Evolving Concept of Home and Family
Andrew Largeman (Large)
You know that point in your life when you realize that the house you grew up in isn’t really your home anymore…all of a sudden even though you have some place to put your shit, that idea of home is gone…or maybe it's like this rite of passage…you will never have that feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself, for your kids, for the family you start. It’s like a cycle or something. Maybe that’s all family really is: a group of people that miss the same imaginary place.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Surprising Perceptions of Intelligence
Sam
Wow! I cannot believe you're not really retarded!
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Maturity and Age in Relationships
Andrew Largeman (Large)
We're not playing "Spin the Bottle." How old are we? More importantly, how old are they?
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Understanding Moments of Reflection
Sam
My mom always says that, when she can see I'm, like, working something out in my head. She's like, "You're in it right now" and I'm looking at you telling this story, and you're definitely in it.
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Protecting Innocence in Unlikely Situations
Andrew Largeman
I think we've corrupted this innocent girl enough for one day!
Sam
I'm not innocent.
Andrew Largeman
Yes, you are. That's what I like about you, okay? And I don't want this guy taking you to some sketchy quarry in the middle of ] to find ] ] huffing ] or ] ] each other, or whatever else is down here!
[[w:Newark|Newark; [w:cocaine|crack; [w:Prostitution|whores; [w:turpentine|turpentine; [w:pit bulls|pit bulls; [w:rape|raping]
Mark
Man, that's the most worked up I've ever seen you.
Sam
He's protecting me.
Andrew Largeman
So?
Sam
He likes me!
Andrew Largeman
Don't be cute.
Sam
He's my ] in shining armor.
[[w:knight|knight]
Andrew Largeman
Don't talk about knights in front of Mark. It's a sore subject.
Mark
I'm gonna kill that motherfucker.
Andrew Largeman
] intended?
[[w:Pun|Pun]
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Threats and Deceptions Among Friends
Sam
Well, don't try anything funny, cause my uncle's a bounty hunter and he can have you tracked and killed.
Andrew Largeman
You're such a liar.
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Accepting Life as It Is
Andrew Largeman (Large)
This is my life, Dad. This is it. I've spent 26 years waiting for something else to start. So, no, I don't think it's too much to take on, because it's everything there is. I see now it's all there is. You and I are gonna be okay. You know that, right? We may not be as happy as you always dreamed we would be, but for the first time let's just allow ourselves to be whatever it is we are, and that will be better, okay? I think that will be better.
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Balancing Life with Regular Challenges
Sam
I have three ]s, and if I didn't kick them in the balls on a regular basis, I'd never get anything done.
[[w:Doberman|Doberman]
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The Pain of Real Life
Andrew Largeman
Fuck, this hurts so much.
Sam
I know it hurts. But it's life, and it's real. And sometimes it fucking hurts, but it's life, and it's sorta all we have.
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Embracing Unimpressiveness for Peaceful Sleep
Mark
I'm okay with being unimpressive. I sleep better.
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Misunderstanding at the Restaurant
Rude Girl Customer
I'll have a Ketel Cosmo, with ], and some ], ASAP.
[[w:Red Bull|Red Bull; [w:Bread|bread]
Andrew Largeman
We don't have bread.
Rude Girl Customer
What do you mean you don't have bread, how can you not have bread?
Andrew Largeman
We're a ] restaurant. We just don't have bread.
[[w:Vietnam|Vietnamese]
Rude Girl Customer
Well, you're not Vietnamese.
Andrew Largeman
No, I'm not.
Rude Girl Customer
Can I have something to chew on? Fuck, ]! Whatever!
[[w:Bamboo|bamboo]
Andrew Largeman
I'll see what I can find.
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Memory of Love and Comfort
Andrew Largeman (Large)
You know, this necklace makes me think of this totally random memory of my mother. I was a little kid, and I was crying for whatever reason, and she was cradling me, rocking me back and forth, and I can just remember the silver balls floating around. And there was, like, snot running down my nose, right? And she gave me her sleeve - and told me to blow my nose into it. And I can remember, even as a little kid, thinking to myself: Wow. This is love...this is love.
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Confronting Loss and Its Reality
Andrew Largeman (Large)
My mom just died. God, it's weird to say it out loud. But, my mom just died.
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A Question of Identity and Connection
Andrew Largeman
You're a ], Kenny?
[[w:Police|cop]
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The Importance of Self-Reflection and Humor
Sam
If you can't laugh at yourself, life is going to seem a whole lot longer than you'd like.
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Sam's Opinion on Sidecars
Sam
Sidecars are for bitches.
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Burning Words of the Heart
Sam
What's the word that's burning in your heart?
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The Balance of Laughter and Tears
Sam
What do you do? You laugh. I'm not saying I don't cry, but in between, I laugh. And I realize how silly it is to take anything too seriously. Plus, I look forward to a good cry. It feels pretty good.
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A Life-Changing Encounter in Four Days
Andrew Largeman (Large)
You changed my life. You changed my life, and I've known you four days. This is the beginning of something really big, but right now, I gotta go.
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Value of Time in Relationships
Andrew Largeman (Large)
I don't want to waste another moment of my life without you in it.
[To Sam]
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Offer of Support from a Friend
Mark
Hey, if you ever need a Kato, you know where to find me.
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Navigating Grief and Stress in Conversation
Mark's Mom
Oh, guys, don't stay in here all day. I had to take the batteries out of the carbon monoxide detector. It was beeping all night.
Dr. Cohen
You know, our bodies are capable of doing some very funny things when they're consumed by stress and anxiety. I found my ex-best friend's cufflinks in my wife's purse. I couldn't get an erection for a year and a half...for example.
Kenny
Your mom just died! ..... I mean, that's why you're home.
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