Good Will Hunting Quotes

Morgan O’Mally My boy's wicked smart.

Will Dear Sean, tell the professor sorry about the job. I had to go see about a girl.

Sean Son of a bitch! He stole my line!

Sean Maguire I thought about what you said to me the other day, about my painting. I stayed up half the night thinking about it. Something occurred to me. I fell into a deep, peaceful sleep, and I haven't thought about you since. You know what occurred to me? You're just a kid. You don't have the faintest idea what you're talking about. It's all right. You've never been out of Boston. So if I asked you about ], you'd probably give me the skinny on every art book ever written. ], you know a lot about him. Life's work, political aspirations, him and the Pope, sexual orientation, the whole works, right? But I'll bet you can't tell me what it smells like in the ]. You've never actually stood there and looked up at that beautiful ceiling. Seen that. If I ask you about women, you'd probably give me a syllabus about your personal favorites. You may have even been laid a few times. But you can't tell me what it feels like to wake up next to a woman and feel truly happy. You're a tough kid. And I'd ask you about war, you'd probably throw ] at me, right? ] But you've never been near one. You've never held your best friend's head in your lap, and watch him gasp his last breath looking to you for help. I'd ask you about ], you'd probably quote me a sonnet. But you've never looked at a woman and been totally vulnerable. Known someone that could level you with her eyes, feeling like ] put an ] on ] just for you. Who could rescue you from the depths of ]. And you wouldn't know what it's like to be her angel, to have that love for her, be there forever, through anything, through cancer. And you wouldn't know about sleeping sittin up in the hospital room for two months, holding her hand, because the doctors could see in your eyes that the terms "visiting hours" don't apply to you. You don't know about real loss, cause that only occurs when you've loved something more than you love yourself. And I doubt you've ever dared to love anybody that much. I look at you. I don't see an intelligent, confident man. I see a cocky, scared shitless kid. But you're a ], Will. No one denies that. No one could possibly understand the depths of you. But you presume to know everything about me because you saw a painting of mine. You ripped my fuckin life apart. You're an orphan, right? Do you think I'd know the first thing about how hard your life has been, how you feel, who you are, cause I read ]? Does that encapsulate you? Personally, I don't give a shit about all that, because you know what, I can't learn anything from you I can't read in some fuckin book. Unless you want to talk about you, who you are. Then I'm fascinated. I'm in. But you don't wanna do that, do you, sport? You're terrified of what you might say. Your move, chief.

Will Hey, does this violate the uh...patient-doctor relationship?

Sean Only if you grab my ass.

Gerry In 1905, there were hundreds of professors renowned for their studies of the universe, but it was a 26-year-old Swiss patent clerk doing physics in his spare time who changed the world. Can you imagine if ] would have given that up just so he could get drunk with his buddies in Vienna? We all would have lost something. Tim would never have heard of him.

Sean Pretty dramatic, Gerry.

Gerry No it's not, Sean. This boy has that gift, he just doesn't have the direction for it. We can give him that.

Sean Hey Gerry, in the 1960s there was a young man who had just graduated from the University of Michigan who was doing brilliant work in mathematics, specifically bounded harmonic functions. Then he went to Berkeley, where he was an assistant professor and showed amazing potential. Then he moved to Montana and blew the competition away.

Gerry Yeah, so who was he?

Sean ].

Gerry Never heard of him.

Sean Hey, Timmy?

Tim Yo.

Tim The Unabomber.

Sean You feel like you're alone, Will?

Will What?

Sean Do you have a soul mate?

Will Define that.

Sean Someone you can relate to.

Will Chuckie.

Sean No, Chuckie's family. He'd lie down in fuckin traffic for you. I'm talking about someone who opens things up for you.

Will Sure, I got plenty.

Sean Well, name them.

Will ], ], ], ], ], ], ]...

Sean Well that's great. They're all dead.

Will Not to me, they're not.

Sean You can't give back to them. You can't have a lot of dialogue with them.

Will Not without some serious smelling salts and a heater.

Sean Yeah. Well, that's what I'm saying. You'll never have that kind of a relationship in a world where you're always afraid to take the first step because all you see is every negative thing ten miles down the road.

Will Don't worry about me, I know what I'm doin'. Yeah, but this girl is like, you know, beautiful. She's smart. She's funny. She's different from most of the girls I've been with.

Sean So, call her up, Romeo.

Will Why? So I can realize she's not that smart, that she's fuckin boring? Y'know? I mean...this girl is like fuckin perfect right now, I don't wanna ruin that.

Sean Maybe you're perfect right now. Maybe you don't wanna ruin that. I think that's a super philosophy, Will, that way you can go through your entire life without ever having to really know anybody...My wife used to fart when she was nervous. She had all sorts of wonderful idiosyncrasies. You know what? She used to fart in her sleep. Sorry I shared that with you. One night it was so loud it woke the dog up. She woke up and gone like "oh was that you?" I'd say yeah...I didn't have the heart to tell her... Oh God...

Will She woke herself up?

Sean Yes!.... Oh Christ....aahhh, but, Will, she's been dead two years and that's the shit I remember. Wonderful stuff, you know, little things like that. Ah, but, those are the things I miss the most. The little idiosyncrasies that only I knew about. That's what made her my wife. Oh, and she had the goods on me, too; she knew all my little peccadillos. People call these things imperfections, but they're not — aw that's the good stuff. And then we get to choose who we let into our weird little worlds. You're not perfect, sport. And let me save you the suspense. This girl you met, she isn't perfect either. But the question is: whether or not you're perfect for each other. That's the whole deal. That's what intimacy is all about. Now you can know everything in the world, sport, but the only way you're findin out that one is by givin it a shot. You certainly won't learn from an old fucker like me. Even if I did know, I wouldn't tell a pissant like you.

Will Why not? You told me every other fuckin thing. Jesus Christ. Fuckin talk more than any shrink I ever seen in my life.

Sean I teach this shit, I didn't say I know how to do it.

Will Yeah...You ever think about gettin remarried?

Sean My wife's dead.

Will Hence the word: remarried.

Sean She's dead.

Will Yeah...Well, I think that's a super philosophy, Sean. I mean that way you could actually go through the rest of your life without ever really knowing anybody.

Sean Time's up.

Will What? You're going to take the professor's side on this?

Sean Don't give me a line of shit. No.

Will Look. I didn't want the job.

Sean It's not about the job. I don't care if you work for the government. But you can do anything you want, you are bound by nothing. What are you passionate about? What do you want? I mean there are guys who work their entire lives laying brick so that their kids have a chance at the opportunities you have here.

Will I didn't ask for this.

Sean No. You were born with it. So, don't cop out behind "I didn't ask for this.

Will What do you mean "cop out?" I mean, w-w-what's wrong with layin brick?

Sean Nothing.

Will There's nothing wrong---That's some-- That's somebody's home I'm building.

Sean Right. My dad laid brick. Okay? Busted his ass so I could have an education.

Will Exactly. That's an honorable profession. What's wrong with...with fixing somebody's car. Someone can get to work the next day because of me. There's honor in that.

Sean Yeah, there is, Will. There is honor in that. And there's honor in, you know, taking that forty minute train ride so those college kids come in the morning and the floors are clean and the wastebaskets are empty. That's real work.

Will That's right.

Sean Right. And that's honorable. I'm sure that's why you took that job, I mean, for the honor of it. I just have a little question here. You could be a janitor anywhere. Why did you work at the most prestigious technical college in the whole fuckin world? And why did you sneak around at night and finish other people's formulas that only one or two people in the world could do, and then lie about it? Cuz I don't see a lot of honor in that, Will. So, what do you really want to do?

Will I wanna be a shepherd.

Sean Really.

Will I wanna move up to Nashua get a nice little spread get some sheep and tend to them.

Sean Maybe you should go do that.

Will What?

Sean You know, if you're going to jerk off, why don't you just do it at home with a moist towel?

Will You're chuckin me?

Sean Yeah, get the fuck out.

Will Hey, no, no, no. Time's not up, yet.

Sean Yeah it is.

Will I'm not leavin'. No!

Sean Listen. You're not going to answer my questions, you're wasting my fuckin time.

Will What? I thought we were friends. Whaddaya mean you -

Sean Playtime's over, okay?

Gerry What do you mean, he didn't talk? You were in there for an hour.

Sean He just sat there, counting the seconds until the session was over. It was pretty impressive, actually.

Gerry Why would he do that?

Sean To prove to me that he doesn't have to talk to me, if he doesn't want to.

Gerry ... What is this, some kind of staring contest between two kids from the old neighborhood?

Sean Yeah, it is. And I can't talk first.

Will So, when did you know, like, that she was the one for you?

Sean October 21st, 1975.

Will Jesus Christ. You know the fuckin date?

Sean Oh yeah. Cus it was game six of the World Series. Biggest game in Red Sox history.

Will Yeah, sure.

Sean My friends and I had, you know, slept out on the sidewalk all night to get tickets.

Will You got tickets?

Sean Yep. Day of the game. I was sittin in a bar, waitin for the game to start, and in walks this girl... Oh it was an amazing game, though. You know, bottom of the 8th Carbo ties it up at a 6-6. It went to 12. Bottom of the 12th, in stepped Carlton Fisk. Old Pudge. Steps up to the plate, you know, and he's got that weird stance.

Will Yeah, yeah.

Sean And BAM! He clocks it. High fly ball down the left field line! Thirty-five thousand people, on their feet, yellin at the ball, but that's not because of Fisk. He's wavin at the ball like a madman.

Will Yeah, I've seen...

Sean He's going, "Get over! Get over! Get OVER!" And then it HITS the foul pole. OH, he goes apeshit, and 35,000 fans, you know, they charge the field, you know?

Will Yeah, and he's fuckin bowlin police out of the way!

Sean Goin', "God! Get out of the way! Get em away!" Banging people...

Will I can't fuckin believe you had tickets to that fuckin game!

Sean Yeah!

Will Did you rush the field?

Sean No, I didn't rush the fuckin field, I wasn't there.

Will What?

Sean No — I was in a bar havin a drink with my future wife.

Will You missed Pudge Fisk's homerun?

Sean Oh yeah.

Will To have a fuckin drink with some lady you never met?

Sean Yeah, but you shoulda seen her. She was a stunner.

Will I don't care if ] walks in the room, that's game six!

Sean Oh, Helen of Troy...

Will Oh my God, and who are these fuckin friends of yours they let you get away with that?

Sean Oh... They had to.

Will W-w-w-what'd you say to them?

Sean I just slid my ticket across the table and I said, "Sorry guys, I gotta see about a girl.

Will I gotta go see about a girl?

Sean Yeah.

Will That's what you said? And they let you get away with that?

Sean Oh yeah. They saw in my eyes that I meant it.

Will You're kiddin me.

Sean No, I'm not kiddin you, Will. That's why I'm not talkin right now about some girl I saw at a bar twenty years ago and how I always regretted not going over and talking to her. I don't regret the 18 years I was married to Nancy. I don't regret the six years I had to give up counseling when she got sick. And I don't regret the last years when she got really sick. And I sure as hell don't regret missin some damn game. That's regret.

Will Wow... Woulda been nice to catch that game, though.

Sean I didn't know Pudge was gonna hit a homer!

Gerry This is a disaster, Sean. I brought you in here because I wanted you to help me with the boy, not to run him out.

Sean I know what I'm doing with the boy.

Gerry I don't care if you have a report on the boy. I don't care if you have a few laughs, even at my expense, but don't you dare undermine what I'm trying to do here.

Sean Undermine.

Gerry This boy is at a fragile point right now—.

Sean I do understand, he is at a fragile point right now, okay? He's got problems.

Gerry Well, what problems does he have, Sean? That he's better off as a janitor? Better off in jail? Better off hanging out with a bunch of retarded gorillas?

Sean Why do you think he does that, Gerry? Do you have any fuckin clue why? Mm?

Gerry He can handle the problems. He can handle the work, and he obviously handled you.

Sean Gerry, listen to me, listen. Why is he hiding? Why doesn't he trust anybody? Because the first thing that happened to him, he was abandoned by the people who were supposed to love him the most.

Gerry Oh, come on, don't give me that Freudian crap.

Sean Listen, Gerry, and why does he hang out with those "retarded gorillas" as you called them? Because any one of them, if he asked them to, would take a fuckin bat to your head, okay? That's called loyalty.

Gerry Yeah, that's very touching.

Sean And who's he handling? He pushes people away before they have a chance to leave him. It's a defense mechanism, alright? And, for 20 years, he's been alone because of that. And, if you push him right now, it's gonna be the same thing all over again, and I'm not gonna let that happen to him.

Gerry Don't you do that, Sean.

Sean What, Gerry?

Gerry Don't you do that, don't infect him with the idea that it's okay to quit, that it's okay to be a failure, because it's not okay, Sean. If you're angry at me for being successful, for being what you could have been, Sean—.

Sean I'm not angry at you, Gerry.

Gerry Oh, yes you're angry at me, Sean. You resent me.

Sean Oh, you arrogant shit. That's why I don't come to the goddamn reunions: cause I can't stand that look in your eye, y'know? That condescending, embarrassed look.

Gerry Oh, Sean.

Sean You think I'm a failure. But I know who I am, and I'm proud of what I do. It was a conscious choice. I didn't fuck up! And you and your cronies think I'm some sort of pity case, you and your kiss-ass chorus following you around going "The Fields medal, the Fields medal!" Why are you still so fuckin afraid of failure?!

Gerry It's about my medal, isn't it? Oh, God, I can go home and get it for you, you can have it.

Sean Oh, please don't. Y'know what Gerry? Shove the medal up your fuckin ass, alright? Cause I don't give a shit about your medal cause I knew you before you were a mathematical god, when you were pimple-faced and homesick and didn't know which side of the bed to piss on.

Gerry Yeah, you were smarter than me then and you're smarter than me now, so don't blame me for how your life turned out, it's not my fault.

Sean I don't blame you! It's not about you, you mathematical dick! It's about the boy! He's a good kid, and I won't see you fuck him up like you're trying to fuck up me right now. I won't see you make him feel like a failure, too!

Gerry He won't be a failure, Sean!

Sean But if you push him, Gerry, if you ride him—!

Gerry Sean, I am what I am today because I was pushed, and because I learned to push myself.

Sean He's not you! You get that?!

Will I can... come back.

Gerry No, come in. I was just leaving.

Sean Maguire If you ever disrespect my wife again, I will end you. I will fucking end you!

Chuckie So uh...when're you done with those meetin's?

Will I think the week after I'm 21.

Chuckie Yeah, they gunna hook you up with a job, or what?

Will Yeah. Fuckin sit in a room and do long division for the next fifty years.

Chuckie Eh..probably make some nice bank, though.

Will I'm gonna be a fuckin lab rat.

Chuckie Better than this shit. It's a way outta here.

Will What do I want a way out of here for? I mean, I'm gunna fuckin live here the rest of my life. You know, we'll be neighbors, you know, we'll have little kids fuckin take em to little league together up at Foley field.

Chuckie Look, you're my best friend, so don't take this the wrong way. In 20 years, if you're still livin here, comin over to my house to watch the Patriots games, still workin construction, I'll fuckin kill you. That's not a threat, that's a fact. I'll fuckin kill you.

Will What the fuck are you talkin about?

Chuckie Look, you got somethin that none of us —

Will Oh, come on! Why is it always this, I mean, "I fuckin owe it to myself to do this or that?" What if I don't want to?

Chuckie No. No, no, no. No, fuck you. You don't owe it to yourself. You owe it to me. Cause tomorrow I'm gonna wake up and I'll be 50. And I'll still be doing this shit. And that's all right, that's fine. I mean, you're sittin on a winning lottery ticket and you're too much of a pussy to cash it in. And that's bullshit. `Cause I'd do anything to fuckin have what you got. So would any of these fuckin guys. It'd be an insult to us if you're still here in 20 years. Hanging around here is a fuckin waste of your time.

Will You don't know that.

Chuckie I don't?

Will No. You don't know that.

Chuckie Oh, I don't know that? Let me tell you what I do know. Every day I come by your house and I pick you up. And we go out we have a few drinks and a few laughs, and it's great. You know what the best part of my day is? It's for about 10 seconds from when I pull up to the curb to when I get to your door. Because I think maybe I'll get up there and I'll knock on the door and you won't be there. No goodbye, no see you later, no nothin'. Just left. I don't know much, but I know that.

Executive 1 Well, Will, I'm not exactly sure what you mean, we've already offered you a position..

Chuckie Since this is obviously not my first time in such altercations, let me say this: Look, we can do this the easy way or the hard way.

Chuckie At the current time I am looking at a number of different fields from which to disseminate which offer is most pursuant to my benefit. What do you want? What do I want? What does anybody want? Leniency.

Executive 1 I'm not sure--

Chuckie --These circumstances are mitigated. Right now. They're mitigated.

Executive 1 Okay...

Chuckie He knows what I'm talking about. A retainer. Nobody in this town works without a retainer. You think you can find someone who does, you have my blessin'. But I think we all know that person isn't going to represent you as well as I can.

Executive 1 Will, our offer starts you at $84,000 a year, plus benefits.

Chuckie Retainer... retainer.

Executive You want us to give you cash right now?

Chuckie Whoa-oh-oh... ea--now I didn't say that. Allegedly, your situation — for you — would be concurrently improved if I had $200 in my back pocket right now.

Executive 1 Well, I don't think I...Larry?

Executive 2 I've got, uh... $73.

Executive 1 Will you take a check?

Chuckie Let me tell you something. You're suspect. Yeah, you. I don't know what your reputation is in this town, but after the shit you tried to pull today, you can bet I'll be looking into you. . Now the business we have heretofore you can speak with my aforementioned attorney. Good day gentlemen, and until that day comes, keep your ear to the grindstone.

Taglines Wildly charismatic. Impossibly brilliant. Totally rebellious. For the first 20 years of his life, Will Hunting has called the shots. Now he's about to meet his match.

Will You ever have any, uh, experience with that?

Sean Twenty years of counseling, I've seen some pretty awful shit.

Will No. I mean, have you ever had any experience with that?

Sean You mean, personally? Yeah. Yeah I have.

Will I'm sure it ain't good.

Sean My father was an alcoholic. Mean fuckin drunk. Used to come home hammered, looking to whale on someone. So I would provoke him, so he wouldn't go after my mother and little brother. Interesting nights were when he wore his rings...

Will He used to just put a belt, a stick, and a wrench on the kitchen table and say, "Choose.

Sean Well, I gotta go with the belt there, Vanna.

Will I used to go with the wrench.

Sean Why?

Will Cause fuck him, that why.

Sean Your foster father?

Will Yeah.

Will So what does it say? Will has an attachment disorder? Fear of abandonment? Is that why I broke up with Skylar?

Sean Didn't know you had. Wanna talk about it?

Sean Will, you see this, all this shit?

Sean It's not your fault.

Will I know...

Sean No you don't. It's not your fault.

Will I know.

Sean No. Listen to me son. It's not your fault.

Will I know that.

Sean It's not your fault.

Sean It's not your fault.

Will Don't fuck with me, Sean. Not you.

Sean It's not your fault.

Will Oh my God! I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry Sean!

Sean Fuck them, OK?

Taglines Some people can never believe in themselves, until someone believes in them.

Chuckie All right, are we gonna have a problem?

Clark There's no problem. I was just hoping you could give me some insight into the evolution of the market economy in the southern colonies. My contention is that prior to the Revolutionary War the economic modalities, especially of the southern colonies could most aptly be characterized as agrarian pre-capitalist and...

Will Of course that's your contention. You're a first year grad student. You just got finished some Marxian historian, Pete Garrison prob’ly, you’re gonna be convinced of that until next month when you get to James Lemon, then you’re gonna be talkin’ about how the economies of Virginia and Pennsylvania were entrepreneurial and capitalist way back in 1740. That's gonna last until next year, you’re gonna be in here regurgitating Gordon Wood, talkin’ about you know, the Pre-revolutionary utopia and the capital-forming effects of military mobilization.

Clark Well, as a matter of fact, I won't, because Wood drastically underestimates the impact of —

Will ..."Wood drastically underestimates the impact of social distinctions predicated upon wealth, especially inherited wealth..." You got that from Vickers. "Work in Essex County," Page 98, right? Yeah I read that too. Were you gonna plagiarize the whole thing for us — you have any thoughts of — of your own on this matter? Or do — is that your thing, you come into a bar, you read some obscure passage and then you pretend — you pawn it off as your own — your own idea just to impress some girls? Embarrass my friend?

Will See the sad thing about a guy like you, is in about 50 years you’re gonna start doin some thinkin on your own and you’re gonna come up with the fact that there are two certainties in life. One, don't do that. And two, you dropped a hundred and fifty grand on a fuckin’ education you coulda got for a dollar fifty in late charges at the Public Library.

Clark Yeah, but I will have a degree, and you'll be serving my kids fries at a drive-thru on our way to a skiing trip.

Will Yeah, maybe. But at least I won't be unoriginal.

Skylar Well, what aren't you scared of? You live in this safe little world where no one challenges you and you're scared shitless to do anything else but defend yourself because that would mean you'd hafta change.

Will Oh no. Don't, don't, don't tell me about my world. Don't tell me about my world! I mean you just wanna have your fling with like the guy from the other side of town. Then you're going to go off to Stanford, you're going to marry some rich prick who your parents will approve of and just sit around with the other trust fund babies and talk about how you went slumming too, once.

Skylar Why are you saying this? What is your obsession with this money? My father died when I was 13 and I inherited this money. You don't think that every day I wake up and wish I could give it back? That I would give it back in a second if I could have one more day with him? But I can't, and that's my life and I deal with it. So don't put your shit on me when you're the one that's afraid.

Will I'm afraid? What am I afraid of? What the fuck am I afraid of?

Skylar You're afraid of me! You're afraid that I won't love you back! Fuck it, I wanna give it a shot! At least I'm honest with you.

Will I'm not honest with you?

Skylar No, what about your twelve brothers?

Will All right.

Skylar No. You're not going. You're not leaving.

Will What do you want to know?! What?! That I don't have twelve brothers?!

Skylar Yes.

Will That I'm a fuckin orphan?!

Skylar Ye-

Will No, you don't wanna hear that!

Skylar I didn't know that.

Will No, you don't wanna hear that.

Skylar I didn't know it.

Will You don't wanna hear that I had fuckin cigarettes put out on me when I was a little kid.

Skylar Oh...I didn't know that...

Will That this isn't fuckin surgery, that some motherfucker stabbed me. You don't wanna hear that shit, Skylar.

Skylar I do wanna hear it.

Will Don't tell me you want to hear that shit!

Skylar I want to hear it because I want to help you. Because I want to--

Will Help me?! What the fuck?! What I got a fucking sign on my back that says "save me?!

Skylar No.

Will Do I look like I need that?!

Skylar No. God, I just want to be with you because I love you!

Will Don't bullshit me. Don't bullshit me. Don't you fuckin bullshit me!

Skylar I love you. I wanna hear you say that you don't love me. Because if you say that, then I won't call you, and I won't be in your life...

Will I don't love you.

Will Hunting Why shouldn't I work for the N.S.A.? That's a tough one, but I'll take a shot. Say I'm workin at the N.S.A. and somebody puts a code on my desk, somethin no one else can break. Maybe I take a shot at it, maybe I break it. And I'm real ] with ], cause I did my job well. But maybe that code was the location of some rebel army in North Africa or the Middle East. And once they have that location, they bomb the village where the rebels are hidin'. Fifteen hundred ] that I never met, I never had no problem with, get ]. Now the ] are sayin', Oh, send in the Marines to secure the area, cause they don't give a shit. It won't be their kid over there gettin shot. Just like it wasn't them when their ] got called cause they were out pullin a tour in the National Guard. It'll be some kid from Southie over there takin shrapnel in the ass. He comes back to find that the plant he used to ] at got exported to the ] he just got back from. And the guy who put the shrapnel in his ass got his old job, cause he'll work for fifteen cents a day and no bathroom breaks. Meanwhile he realizes the only ] he was over there in the first place was so that we could install a ] that would sell us oil at a good price. And of course the oil companies used the little skirmish over there to scare up domestic oil prices. A cute little ancillary benefit for them but it ain't helpin my buddy at two-fifty a gallon. They're takin their sweet time bringin the oil back, of course, maybe they even took the liberty of hirin an alcoholic skipper who likes to drink martinis and fuckin play slalom with the icebergs. It ain't too long til he hits one, spills the oil and kills all the sea life in the North Atlantic. So now my buddy's out of work. He can't afford to drive, so he's walkin to the fuckin job interviews, which sucks because the shrapnel in his ass is givin him chronic hemorroids. And meanwhile he's starvin cause every time he tries to get a bite to eat, the only blue plate special they're servin is North Atlantic scrod with Quaker State.So what did I think? I'm holdin out for somethin better. I figure, fuck it, while I'm at it, why not just shoot my buddy, take his job, give it to his sworn ], hike up gas prices, bomb a village, club a baby seal, hit the hash pipe and join the National Guard? I could be elected ].