31 quotes
Martin Blank's Unconventional Introduction
Martin Blank
Hi! I'm Martin Blank, do you remember me? I'm not married, I don't have any kids, and I'd blow your head off if someone paid me enough.
[to himself, rehearsing]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Journey Westward in Self-Discovery
Martin Blank
I guess you could say I went west. You know, the way of ], ], the ]...
[[w:Horatio Alger|Horatio Alger; [w:Davy Crockett|Davy Crockett; [w:Donner Party|Donner Party]
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A Humorous Take on Taking a Break
Dr. Oatman
Go see some old friends. Drink some punch, visit with what's-her-name. Don't kill anybody for a few days; see what it feels like.
Martin Blank
I'll give it a shot.
Dr. Oatman
No, don't give it a shot! Don't shoot anything!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Contrasting Life Choices and Expectations
Mr. Newberry
Did I have you figured wrong?
Martin Blank
I don't know; I mean, I hope so.
Mr. Newberry
I visualized you in a haze as one of those slacker, flannel-wearing, coffee-house misanthropes I've been seeing in Newsweek.
Martin Blank
No, no, no, I went the other road. Six figures, doing business with lead-pipe cruelty, mercenary sensibility. You know... sport sex, no real relationships. How about you, how have the years been treating you?
Mr. Newberry
Well, you know me, Martin; still the same old sell-out, exploiting the oppressed...
Martin Blank
Sure.
Mr. Newberry
]" Oh fuck it, let's have a drink and forget the whole damn thing.
[[Hamlet|Oh what a piece of work is man, how noble...]
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The Complexity of Love and Freedom
Debi Newberry
If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it's... well... broken.
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Wound Care Not Offered Here
Mr. Grocer
Easy there, chief. I don't see hollow-point wound care on the menu.
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Heartbreak and Humor at a Wedding
Mr. Grocer
Uh-oh! Smells like a wedding! You're breaking my heart down here, Blank! I can't aim through the tears!
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The Fate of Good Men Explored
Debi Newberry
Where are all the good men dead? In the heart or in the head?
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The Appeal of Collaboration and Profit
Mr. Grocer
See, kid, this is what I'm talking about. We could be working together again, for God's sake. You know? Making big money, killing important people!
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Struggling with Connection and Identity
Martin Blank
I just honestly don't know what I have in common with those people anymore... or with anyone, really. I mean, they'll all have husbands and wives and children and houses and dogs, and, you know, they'll have made themselves a part of something, and they can talk about what they do. And what am I going to say? "I killed the president of Paraguay with a fork. How've you been?
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Questioning Morality in Personal Choices
Martin Blank
I know what I do isn't... moral, per se...
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Confronting Change and Loss in Familiar Places
Martin Blank
Dr. Oatman, please pick up, pick up! It's Martin Blank! I, I'm standing where my, uh, living room was and it's not here because my house is gone and it's an Ultimart! You can never go home again, Oatman... but I guess you can shop there.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Reflection on Life and Personal Boundaries
Debi Newberry
Everybody's coming back to take stock of their lives. You know what I say? Leave your livestock alone.
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Misunderstandings in Communication and Relationships
Martin's target
Whatever it is i'm doing that you don't like... I'll stop doing it.
Martin Blank
It's not me.
[shoots him dead]
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Reflections on Time and Mortality
Marcella
You know, when you started getting invited to your ten year high school reunion, time is catching up.
Martin Blank
Are you talking about a sense of my own mortality or a fear of death?
Marcella
Well, I never really thought about it quite like that.
Martin Blank
Did you go to yours?
Marcella
Yes, I did. It was as if everyone swelled.
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Curiosity About High School Reunions
Martin Blank
Why are you so interested in me going to my high school reunion?
Marcella
I just find it amusing that you came from somewhere.
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Conflicted Morality and Job Frustrations
Marcella
Sir, it's out of my hands. The gods want you to go back home, and they want you to delete someone while you're there.
Paul Spericki
I'll see you at the "I've-Peaked-and-I'm-Kidding-Myself" party.
Agent Steve Lardner
You want to kill the good guy but not be the bad guy. It doesn't work like that. You've got to wait until the bad guy kills the good guy. Then when you kill the bad guy, you're the good guy.
Ultimart Clerk
No, I'm NOT all right! I'm hurt, I'm pissed... I gotta find a new job!
[after the convenience store blows up]
Bob Destepello
You wanna do some blow?
Paul Spericki
Wow. Just looking for a little validation for my life but apparently came up SHORT!
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Mr. Grocer's Enthusiastic Popcorn Announcement
Mr. Grocer
Hey, hey, bing bing bing bing bang! POPCORN!
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The Reality of Professional Killing
Martin Blank
I'm a professional killer.
Paul Spericki
Do you have to do post-graduate work for that, or can you just jump right in?
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Confronting Truths in Professional Boundaries
Martin Blank
Don't you think that maybe you're just upset because I told you what I do for a living, and you got upset and you're letting it interfere with our dynamic?
Dr. Oatman
Whoa. Martin. You didn't tell me what you did for a living...
Martin Blank
Yes, I did!
Dr. Oatman
You didn't tell me what you did for a living for four sessions. Then you told me. And I said, "I don't want to work with you any more." And yet, you come back each week at the same time. That's a difficulty for me. On top of that, if you've committed a crime or you're thinking about committing a crime, I have to tell the authorities.
Martin Blank
I know the law, okay? But I don't want to be withholding; I'm very serious about this process. And I know where you live.
[pause]
Dr. Oatman
Oh, now see? That wasn't a nice thing to say; that wasn't designed to make me feel good. That's a... kind of a... not too subtle intimidation, and I, uh, get filled with anxiety when you talk about something like that.
Martin Blank
Come on, come on. I was just kidding, all right? The thought never crossed my mind.
Dr. Oatman
You did think of it, Martin! You thought it, and then you said it. And now, I'm left with the aftermath of that, thinking I gotta be creative in a really interesting way or Martin's gonna blow my brains out! You're holding me hostage. That's not right.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Conversation on Unconventional Career Choices
Mr. Newberry
So, what have you been doing with your life?
Martin Blank
Um... professional killer.
Mr. Newberry
Oh, good for you! Growth industry.
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Perspective on Innocence and Consequences
Martin Blank
A thousand innocent people get killed every day, but a millionaire's pet gets detonated and you're marked for life.
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The Uncertainty of Life and Choices
Marcella
Sir, I'm becoming concerned for your safety.
[on phone]
Martin Blank
I have to go.
Marcella
Yeah, well, we all have to go sometime, sir, but we can choose when.
Martin Blank
Nobody chooses when.
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A Humorous Take on Omelette Expectations
Martin Blank
Whole grain pancakes and an egg-white omelette, please.
Waitress
What would you like in your omelette?
Martin Blank
Nothing in the omelette. Nothing at all.
Waitress
Well, that's not technically an omelette.
Martin Blank
Look, I don't want to get into a semantic argument about it, I just want the protein, all right?
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Preparing for Disinfection in Grosse Pointe Blank
Debi Newberry
I'll go put these in some rubbing alcohol.
[Martin gives Debi flowers]
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Unexpected Arrival at Debi's House
Martin Blank
Debi's house.
Paul Spericki
Kinda crept up on you, didn't it?
Martin Blank
No, you drove us here.
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A Cat's Demands vs. Relationship Expectations
Debi Newberry
So, is there a Mrs. Mysterio?
Martin Blank
No, but I have a cat.
Debi Newberry
It's not the same thing.
Martin Blank
Well, you don't know my cat. It's very demanding.
Debi Newberry
It"? You don't know if it's a boy or a girl?
Martin Blank
I respect its privacy.
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Moral Flexibility in Military Service
Martin Blank
When I left, I joined the army, and when I took the service exam my psych profile fit a certain... moral flexibility would be the only way to describe it... and I was loaned out to a CIA-sponsored program, and we sort of found each other. That's how it works.
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Acceptance Over Forgiveness in Moving On
Debi Newberry
People say forgive and forget. Yeah, I don't know. I say forget about forgiving and just accept. And get the hell out of town.
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Threatening Violence in a Dark Context
Mr. Grocer
Like I'm gonna put a bullet hole in your FUCKIN forehead and I'm gonna FUCK the brain hole!
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Consequences of Actions in Relationships
Martin Blank
If I show up at your door, chances are you did something to bring me there.
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