10 quotes
Misunderstandings About Race and Identity
Howard
You didn't tell me he was white!
Percy
Yes, I did. Back at the retirement home.
Howard
I thought you was kidding.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confrontation Over Racial Stereotypes and Humor
Simon
What are three things a black guy can't get? A black eye, a fat lip and a job.
[''after telling a series of black jokes, family laughing'']
Howard
I tell you. I'm going to kick that boy's ass!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Exploring Racial Slurs in Dialogue
Howard
You don't hear me calling no white folks honky and flat-ass!
Percy
Casper.
Howard
Cracker.
Percy
Ofay.
Howard
Peckerwood.
Percy
Wonder bread.
Howard
Bird shit.
Percy
Bird shit?
Howard
Well, it's almost white.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Father's Unexpected Confrontation
Percy
I don't want to hear about you sleeping with my daughter. You're sleeping with me now.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A humorous confession of loyalty
Simon
Babe, you're acting like I have cheated on you, and I have never cheated on you. Except for that one time, with myself, and you caught me.
[''on the phone, leaving a message'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Impact of Finding Your Other Half
Simon
That's just it, she's everything I'm not. You know, she's my other half. Without her, I'm not whole. You know the thing about meeting your other half is you're walking around, you think you're happy, you think you're whole, then you realize you ain't shit without her. Then you can't go back to being just a half because you know what it's like to be whole.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Cultural Misunderstandings in Music Preferences
Simon
Why can't black people listen to country music?
[''reeling off "black" jokes'']
Keisha
Why?
Simon
Because every time they say "hoedown", they think their sister got shot!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Casual Introductions in a Family Setting
Theresa
I was just showing Simon around the house.
Simon
You have a very nice house, Mrs. Jones.
Marilyn
Thank you, Simon. You can call me Marilyn.
Simon
You too, Mr. Jones.
Percy
Thank you, Simon. You can call me Mr. Jones.
Percy
Just kidding.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Comments About Dance Moves
Simon
I want to see your sexy body go BUMP, BUMP, BUMP!
[''to Theresa'']
Kimbra
Did he just say bump, bump, bump?
Naomi
Yes he did, and it's Percy Jones fault!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Navigating Relationships and Acknowledging Mistakes
Percy
If you're going to marry one of these women, sometimes it's going to hurt like hell. And all you can do is admit that you're wrong and know that she's always right.
Simon
She's right?
Percy
That's right.
Simon
Always?
Percy
Right.
Simon
Right?
Percy
That's right.
Simon
All right, okay. What about all that talk about my dignity?
Percy
Do you love her? Do you want her? Then she's always right.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.