Hairspray (2007) - Quotes

Misunderstanding Flirting Over Time

Wilbur: [to a sobbing Edna, who thinks that he has been cheating on her with Velma] Honey, it took me five years to figure out you were flirting! How could I ever?

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Misunderstandings in a Geometry Conversation

Velma Von Tussle: Incredible! I could do a fan dance with a lettuce leaf and you would remain completely obtuse!

Wilbur: Obtuse?

Velma: Yes, obtuse!

Wilbur: I flunked geometry-

Velma: Yeah, well, and biology too, no doubt!

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Unexpected Hospitality and Concerns about Iron

Maybelle: Miz Edna, is it? Hi, I mean, you don’t have to rush off, you know.

Edna: Well, I do. I left my iron on.

Maybelle: [shows Edna the soul food spread on the table] Oh, your iron? Well, before you go, are you sure you wouldn't like to have a little something to eat?

Edna: [after a long moment] Is that braised?

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Commentary on Racial Integration in Community Spaces

Maybelle: [watching Edna walk in] Boy, if we get any more white people in here, this is gonna be a suburb.

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Concern About Daughter's Location

Amber: I’m calling because I have some information about your daughter’s whereabouts.

Edna: What?

Amber: Right now, as we speak, your daughter has entered a hotbed of moral... !urpentine.

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Navigating Fear and Excitement Together

Penny: I’m very pleased and scared to be here.

Maybelle: Now, honey, we got more reason to be scared on your street.

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Unexpected Classroom Responses

Mr. Flak: Oh, and Mr. Larkin, perhaps you’d like to share with the rest of the class Patrick Henry’s immortal last words?

Link: [pause] Kiss my ass?

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Conflict Over Song Choice

Velma: [after The Dynamites perform “The New Girl in Town”] How dare you pick the same song!

Maybelle: They wrote it.

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Voting for People, Not Concepts

Amber: You have to vote for a person, Corny, not one of the Himalayas.

Corny: [tightly] Always the charmer, Amber!

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Celebrating Diversity in Everyday Life

Tracy: Negro Day’s the best! I wish every day were “Negro Day”!

Seaweed: At our house, it is.

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Excitement of Auditioning and Supporting Friends

Tracy: [for ''The Corny Collins Show''] I can’t believe I’m really here auditioning !

Penny: I can’t believe I’m really here watching you audition.

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The Challenge of Ambition in Family Dynamics

Wilbur: [to Tracy] This is America, babe, you gotta think big to be big.

Edna: Big ain’t the problem in this family, Wilbur...

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Dreams of Fame vs. Family Expectations

Edna: No one is auditioning for anything in this household!

Tracy: But why not? Why not?

Edna: Because dancing is not your future. One day, you’re going to own "Edna’s Occidental Laundry".

Tracy: I don’t want to be a laundress, I want to be famous!

Edna: If you want to be famous, learn how to take blood out of car upholstery; That’s a skill you can take right to the bank!

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Firing Techniques in Entertainment Industry

Corny: [walks off] Gee, Velma, how do you fire Corny Collins from The Corny Collins Show?

Velma: [starts to speak and then pauses, frustrated] They do it all the time on “Lassie”!

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Guiding Youth Towards Racial Conformity

Velma: They’re kids, Corny, that’s why we have to steer them in the white direction.

Corny: The right direction?

Velma: Didn’t I say that?

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Critique of Detroit Sound in Hairspray

Velma: Detroit sound? What’s that, the cries of people being mugged?

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Brenda's Upcoming Leave from the Show

Corny: [Brenda does so] And now it’s time to say goodbye to our very own fun-lovin’, free-wheelin’ little Brenda. Come on up here, Brenda! Brenda will be taking a little leave of absence from the show. How long are you gonna be gone, Brenda?

Brenda: [smiling nervously] Just nine months.

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Tension and Distraction Among Friends

Amber: [to one of the dancers; Link walks up] Do that again, and there'll be stumps where your feet are, you got that? You little who- -Holy moly.

Link: [presents Amber with a [[w:Class ring|ring] It’s time.

Velma: [they break apart; sends Amber off to makeup for more powder] Amber! Save your personal life for the camera, sweetie! Ooh, shiny!

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The Value of Character in Adversity

Penny: Without that show I have nothing!

Mrs. Pingleton: Having nothing builds character!

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Generational Clash Over Music and Focus

Edna: Will you turn that racket down? I'm trying to iron here.

Tracy: Ma, its not racket, its the Corny Collins Show!

Edna: Well, it's turning your brains into mud!

A Tragic Accident in Velma's Life

Velma Von Tussle: My husband, he accidentally suffocated.

Demographic Commentary on Social Class

Velma Von Tussle: You know what your demographic is? Cleaning ladies and lawn jockeys.

A Lettuce Leaf and Perception Challenges

Velma Von Tussle: I could do a fan dance with a lettuce leaf and you would remain completely obtuse!

Comment on a new dress's impact

Velma Von Tussle: Let me guess, brand-new dress? Well, you’ll stop traffic!

Consequences of Ambition and Risk

Velma Von Tussle: I risked communicable diseases, she’ll certainly risk jail.

Amber's Disappointment Over Link's Choices

Amber Von Tussle: (crying after Link has gone with Tracy and the Detention Kids) He just danced on that bus with that Great White Whale and those Negroes!