Harriet the Spy (1996) - Quotes

Fearless Curiosity and Unyielding Tenacity

Tagline: There's no lead she won't follow. No question she won't ask. And no way she'll ever get caught!

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

The Collector of Secrets

Tagline: Some kids collect insects. Others collect dolls. Harriet M. Welsh collects secrets.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Investigation in Progress

Tagline: On your case!

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Perspective of a Spy

Tagline: See the world through the eyes of a spy.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Fairness in Leadership Opportunities

Miss Elson: [to the class; pauses and sees Harriet's hand raised] Good morning. Today we're... Yes, Harriet?

Harriet: Miss Elson, I've been thinking a lot, and you know how class president automatically gets to be editor of the sixth grade newspaper?

Miss Elson: Yes.

Harriet: Well... I think... I think it's too much for one person and it's not fair to everybody because everybody deserves a chance, and we should change it.

Marion: [shouting loudly] OBJECTION!

Miss Elson: [as Harriet sits back down in her seat] This isn't a courtroom, Marion. I like that idea, Harriet. Let's see what the class thinks.

Marion: [gets up from her desk] Miss Elson, I think I speak for everybody when I say this is... this is a really, really, stupid idea!

Miss Elson: That is one opinion. But let's take a vote. Marion is now editor of The Guidepost, would anyone like to nominate another candidate?

Miss Elson: Well... I guess if no one has anything to say...

Boy with Purple Socks: [gets up from his desk and finally speaks in front of the entire class, much to everybody's surprise] I have something to say: I think that Harriet is a very good writer, and if we only listen to one person's opinion, we may never get anywhere new. But Harriet might have something very original, and I'd like to read what she has to write.

Miss Elson: Is there a second?

Sport: [raises his hand] I second it.

Janie Gibbs: [raises her hand] I third it.

Miss Elson: Okay, then. Harriet Welsch is now a candidate for editor. Who votes for Harriet?

Miss Elson: And that... is that.

Harriet: [whispers] Yes!

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Harriet Questions Future of Her Nanny

Harriet: Are you gonna go be some other kid's nanny now?

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Emotions of Crying and Laughter Explored

Harriet: [in tears] I'm not gonna cry, I'm not gonna cry, I'm not gonna cry.

Ole Golly: Nah it's okay to cry, but whatever you do, don't laugh, no Harriet, I will not tolerate laughter as I leave. No.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Desires and limitations in conversation

Harriet: [Golly closes the door on her parents screaming] Hey, I want to hear that.

Ole Golly: Yeah? Well I want to sing opera, but I can't, so I don't.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Growing Up and Independence

Harriet: How long have you known me, Golly?

Ole Golly: Since you were born. That's 11 years and 12,000 tomato sandwiches ago.

Harriet: And you'll never leave me, right?

Ole Golly: Well I won't leave you leave you, but one day you'll be old enough and... well, old enough to take care of yourself and when that day comes you won't need me around anymore. But that day is not today.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Celebration of Unexpected Success

Sport's Dad: [overly ecstatic; his phone rings, he answers it] Will you take a look at this. Huh? Huh? What do you think of your old man now, Sport? Ten thousand smackaroos! No more paying with change. No more, no more spaghetti. Going to feel like steak. And you know those fancy basketball sneakers with the, with the buckles and the Velcro and the crap all over them? Their yours, buddy boy, all yours! Hello? Murray. Hey, hey I take it all back. All agents aren't useless. Oh, I'm kidding you, I'm kidding you, man. You know I was always in your corner. Oh, yeah, I knew you'd come through. Well, Sport and I are going to do a little celebrating today...

Harriet: Hey.

Sport: Hey.

Harriet: Sold his book?

Sport: Got a real job.

Sport's Dad: [notices Harriet] Hey, Harriet, you hear the good news?

Harriet: [smiling] You're a writer. So how's it feel?

Sport's Dad: Oh, big slice off heaven, side order of fries. Say, you hungry? I feel like going to the fanciest, schmaniest restaurant in town. We'll abuse the waiter. Who's with me? Harriet?

Sport: She can't come.

Sport's Dad: What do you mean she can't come? You haven't even asked her.

Sport: [firmly; to Harriet; he closes the door on Harriet] I said she can't come. You can't be my friend if you're not my friend.

Harriet: [from the other side of the door, crying] I'm sorry, Sport. I'm sorry.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

A Moment of Panic and Communication

Harriet: Sport, Sport..... SPORT!

Harriet: Help me.

Sport: (Walks to the window) Hey, Harriet.

Harriet: (Panicks) Hey.

Sport: Okay, come in.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

An Onion and a Squash Encounter

Janie: She made an onion.

Harriet: Tell me about it.

Janie: You, my dear, are a great big squash.

Harriet: I'd like to squash her.

Janie: I've got something better. Come here.

Janie: Smell this.

Harriet: Ugh! What is this?

Janie: You like it? Wait, I mean you hate it.

Harriet: It's like something just crawled up my nose and then died.

Janie: Excellent. It's a sulfur-based alkaloid. I want it to chemically fuse with combustibles.

Harriet: And, in English, that would mean...

Janie: Stink bomb.

Harriet: Stink bomb

Janie: We tape it to the school air ducts, attach it to a timer, and five minutes before the school play starts..... BOOOOOSH! Empty Auditorium.

Janie's mom: Hey.... what are you girls doing?

Janie: Nothing.

Harriet: Nothing.

Janie's mom: Are you getting ready for your big stage debut.

Harriet: Actually, Mrs. Gibbs. Janie and I were discussing about the school play. Right, Janie?

Janie: Yeah, we're really looking forward to it.

Janie's mom: Good. Good. That's good. (Spotted something in front of her) Uh, Janie, what is this supposed to be?

Janie: No, mom! Don't touch it!

Janie's mom: Oh, WHAT?! Janie!

Janie: It's an experiment with mold!

Janie's mother: Oh! Janie! That's where my Veronica's Closet bra went to... huh? You know, I'm sick to death of this mad scientist baloney! Look at this! Look at this! Girl, we got to talk. I don't know what I'm gonna do with you, but we need to talk!

Harriet: Some of Janie's experiments really creep me out. I wonder if she'll grow up to be a-billion IQ genius, or a total nutcase.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

The Value of Money and Perspective

Harriet: I hate money.

Sport: You'd like it a lot more if you didn't have any.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Conflict Over a Borrowed Truck

Harriet: Uh oh. Frankie took the truck.

Frankie: Speak English!

Mrs. Hongfat: Oh okay, you want us to speak English, huh? Well, you are a jerk! I tell you don't take the truck. You smash the truck. Well, you tell me now, Mr. Wise Guy. Was your date worth it?

Mr. Hongfat: People here are shopping.

Frankie: Yeah.

Bruno Hong Fat: HEY!

Frankie: Hey, all right, Grandpa. It's cool, right? Believe me it wasn't a big deal, right? I knew you understand, right?

Harriet: (Smiles as she writes down in her notebook) Sometimes, I think families everywhere are exactly the same.

Frankie: Okay, everybody get back to work. Mom. Dad. Please. Grandpa! Just calm down.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

A Conversation About Various Topics

Ole: The time has come, the walrus said...

Harriet: To talk of many things...

Ole: Of shoes and ships and ceiling wax...

Harriet: Of cabbages and kings...

Ole: And why the sea is boiling hot...

Harriet: And whether pigs have wings!

Ole: Do you have any wings?

Harriet: Yeah.

Ole: [''starts "spanking" her''] Yeah? Let me see them!

Harriet: [''laughing''] Ow! Ow! Child abuse! Child abuse!

Ole: You want to see child abuse? Take that! And that!

The Importance of Knowledge and Beauty

Harriet: I want to remember everything. And I want to know everything.

Ole: Well, you must realize, Harriet, knowing everything won't do you a bit of good unless you use it to put beauty in this world. True or false?

Harriet: True.

Ole: Of course it is.

Frustration Over Mad Scientist Claims

Janie's Mom: JANIE! I am sick to death of this mad scientist baloney! Look at this! Look at this!

A Strong Critique of Low Quality

Simon "Sport" Rocque: This stuff is beyond crap. It is what crap wants to be when it grows up.

The Essence of Being a Good Spy

Katherine "Ole Golly: You remember, a good spy can get in there and fight. Goodbye, Harriet the Spy.

Embracing solitude and future aspirations

Katherine "Ole Golly: Just because you're going to be alone now doesn't mean the world stops turning. You'll keep writing in your notebooks and when you're grown up and you publish your first novel, I'll be first in line at that bookstore, getting an autographed copy.

Cherish and Protect True Friendships

Katherine "Ole Golly: Good friends are one of life's blessings. Don't give them up without a fight.

Embracing Individuality Amidst Others' Uncertainty

Katherine "Ole Golly: You know what? You're an individual, and that makes people nervous. And it's going to keep making people nervous for the rest of your life.

Diverse Perspectives on Living in the World

Katherine "Ole Golly: There are as many ways to live in this world as there are people in this world, and each one deserves a closer look.

Observations on Family Similarities

Harriet M. Welsch: Sometimes I think families here are exactly the same.

Commentary on Perceptions of Coolness

Harriet M. Welsch: Carrie Andrews thinks she's cool because she spent her summer vacation growing boobs.

Desire and Identity in Harriet the Spy

Harriet M. Welsch: The only thing worse than being Marion Hawthorn, is wanting to be Marion Hawthorn.

The Pursuit of Knowledge Through Observation

Harriet M. Welsch: I want to learn everything I can, and I write down everything I see. Golly says if I want to be a writer someday, I better start now, and that is why I am a spy.