13 quotes
Value of Investment in Conservation Efforts
Joe
We don't care how much it costs, just how much it makes. If it costs too much, we charge a penny more. Would you pay more to save a fish who thinks?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Identity Confusion in Heaven Can Wait
Joe
I'm not really Leo Farnsworth.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Misunderstandings Amid Unlikely Circumstances
Julia
You locked me in a closet!
Max
This isn't going to work. You're playing football with a bunch of butlers!
[whilst training Pendleton in the spacious mansion grounds]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Observing a Disturbing Situation Unfold
Mr. Jordan
He's been drugged by those two downstairs. This is a murder. See how he's slowly sliding into the water?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Pressure and Ruthlessness in Business Deals
Former owner
He got my team. The son of a bitch got my team.
Advisor
What kind of pressure did he use, Milt?
Former owner
What I asked for was sixty-seven million, and he said "okay.
Advisor
Ruthless bastard.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Team Decisions and Birthday Wishes
Max
You be the trainer and I'll start on Sunday.
Joe
I'm starting against Dallas? What about Jarrett?
Max
They don't want to go with Jarrett. They want to go with you. Happy Birthday, Joe!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Defining the Consequences of Nuclear Accidents
Newspaperman
Mr. Farnsworth, isn't it true an accident in your west coast nuclear plant could stimulate seismic activity in the San Andreas fault, which could destroy most of Southern California?
Tony
I think you'd have to define "destroy".
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Presence in an Unlikely Place
Joe
I'm not supposed to be here.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Cocoa for a Pretend Conversation
Bentley
I noticed there are two cups.
[on the landing of the elegant stairway, near the closet where Mr. Farnsworth and Joe Pendleton meet with Mr. Jordan, invisible to everyone but himself]
Everett
Well, Sisk felt that since Mr. Farnsworth was pretending to talk to someone, he might want to pretend to give him cocoa, too.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Love and Destiny in Heaven Can Wait
Joe
She love me, Mr. Jordan!
Mr. Jordan
Joe, you must abide by what is written.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Paradox of Being Right and Wrong
Mr. Jordan
The likelihood of one individual being right increases in direct proportion to the intensity with which others are trying to prove him wrong.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Questioning Polo Skills in Heaven Can Wait
Joe
Do I... play Polo?
Sisk
Not really, sir.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Mouse Encounter at the Farnsworths' Home
Tony
Sorry to disturb you, Mr. Farnsworth. Mrs. Farnsworth saw a mouse.
[after ushering the shrieking Mrs. Julia Farnsworth out of her husband's office and, from the doorway]
Betty
She just saw a mouse?
Tony
No, before. Outside, but she relives it.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.