Home Alone 2: Lost in New York (1992) - Quotes

Taglines: Yikes! I Did It Again!

Taglines: He's Up Past His Bedtime in the City That Never Sleeps.

Cedric: [hands it to Buzz; holds out his hand for a tip] Mr. McCallister's room service bill, sir. Merry Christmas, sir.

Buzz: [hands over the gum he has been chewing] Oh, uh, hmm.

Cedric: [deadpan, to himself] Nice family, really.

Buzz: [to himself, reading bill, smirking; in sing-song voice; Outside, Kevin is with the Pigeon Lady in Central Park] Merry Christmas, indeed. Oh, Daa-aad!

Peter: [off-screen; furiously screaming from the hotel; Kevin, startled, gasps and runs off] KEVIN!!! YOU SPENT NINE HUNDRED SIXTY-SEVEN DOLLARS ON ROOM SERVICE?!

Kate: Do you have kids?

Cop: Yes, ma'am.

Kate: And what would you do if one of them was missing?

Cop: I'd probably be doing the same thing you're doing.

Kate: Thank you.

Cop: Look, put yourself in your kid's shoes. Where would you go? What would you do?

Kate: [pauses in realization] Me? I'd probably be lying dead in a gutter somewhere. Oh, but not Kevin. No. Kevin is so much stronger and braver than I am. And I know Kevin's fine. I'm sure he is. But he's still all by himself in a big city, and he doesn't deserve that. He deserves to be at home, with his own family, around his Christmas tree. Oh, dear God. I know where he is! I need to get to Rockefeller Center!

Cop: Hop in.

Cop: Well, Mr. Duncan, it's all over with. We apprehended the thieves and we recovered your money.

Duncan: Good. I wanna get that money over to the Children's Hospital as soon as possible.

Cop: Yeah, I'll handle it personally.

Duncan: Ah! Thank you very much!

Inspector: Excuse me, Mr. Duncan?

Duncan: Yes?

Inspector: [hands note to him] I found this note. Looks like a kid broke your window.

Duncan: [starts reading] Huh.

Kevin's voice: Dear Mr. Duncan, I broke your window to catch the bad guys. I'm sorry. Do you have insurance? If you don't, I'll send you some money, if I ever get back to Chicago. Merry Christmas, Kevin McCallister. P.S.: Thanks for the turtledoves.

Duncan: [smiles broadly] Turtledoves. Ohhh...

Officer #2: Oh, my God!

Officer #1: All right, let's go.

Officer #2: On your feet.

Harry: Take it easy.

Officer #1: You guys should have started earlier. The prisoners have already exchanged gifts.

Marv: We missed the presents? He made us hide out in a toy store so we could steal all of the kid's charity money.

Harry: [angrily kicks Marv] Shut up, Marv!

Marv: [pigeon flies out his jacket] AAAH!

Harry: Got the right to remain silent, ya know.

Marv: He's a little cranky. We just broke out of prison a few days ago.

Harry: [angrily kicks Marv again] SHUT UP, MARV!!! Geez!

Officer #1: Get em out of here.

Officer #2: All right, let's go.

Marv: Remember, if this makes the papers, we're no longer the Wet Bandits! We're the Sticky Bandits! Ow! That's Sticky! That's S...

Harry: Shut it!

Marv: T, uh...

Harry: I.

Marv: I...

Marv: My, how the tables have turned.

Harry: [he and Marv laugh, pick up Kevin and force him to walk beside them] How do you like the ice, kid? Let's go for a little stroll in the park. Give me that bag. Give me it! Hey, these'll look great in the photo album.

Marv: You may have won the battle, little dude, but you've lost the war.

Harry: [pulls his varnish-covered revolver out of his pocket] You ought not have messed with us, pal. We're dangerous.

Marv: Harry?

Harry: Shut up.

Marv: [watches the pigeons in the trees] Harry.

Harry: Shut up! I wanna enjoy this.

Marv: Something's wrong. Let's get out of here.

Harry: [still pointing revolver at Kevin] Shut up, I said! I never made it to the sixth grade, kid, and it doesn't look like you're gonna either.

Pigeon Lady: [shows up with a bucket full of birdseed; Harry and Marv look at her; Kevin runs away] Let him go! KEVIN, RUN!

Marv: Shoot her! Shoot her! SHOOT HER!

Harry: [tries to do so, but his fingers are too sticky to get a grip] I'M TRYING TO SHOOT HER!

Marv: Harry? You wearing aftershave?

Harry: That's not aftershave, that's kerosene. The rope is soaked in it.

Marv: Now, why would anybody soak a rope in kerosene?

Kevin: [lights a match, Harry and Marv look at him; sets the rope on fire] Merry Christmas.

Harry: [Marv screams in horror] GO UP!

Marv: Over there!

Harry: I don't care if I get the electric chair, I'm killin that kid! Surrender, kid!

Marv: He vanished.

Kevin: I'm down here, you big horses ass!

Marv: Whoa!

Kevin: Nice night for a neck injury.

Marv: [?] Suck brick, kid! No!

Harry: You better say every prayer you ever heard before, kid!

Marv: I hope your parents got ya a tombstone for Christmas! Where'd he go?!

Kevin: I'm up here, and I'm very scared.

Marv: Where'd he go?!

Kevin: [on the roof; takes a picture of them] I'm up here! Come and get me!

Marv: Let's kill!

Harry: Hold on, pea-brain. We got busted last time because we underestimated that little bundle of misery.

Marv: This ain't like the last time. This ain't his house. The kid's runnin scared. He ain't got a plan.

Harry: [Marv gestures "go ahead"; calls up to Kevin] May I do the thinking, please? Thank you. Sonny!

Kevin: Yes?

Harry: Nothing would thrill me more greatly than to shoot you. Knockin off a youngster ain't gonna mean all that much to me. Understand?

Kevin: Mmm-hmm.

Harry: But since we're in a hurry, I'll make a deal wit'cha. You throw down your camera, and we won't hurt ya. You'll never hear from us again. Okay?

Kevin: You promise?

Harry: I cross my heart and hope to die.

Kevin: Okay!

Harry: [he and Marv snicker; Kevin throws a brick, hitting Marv on the forehead] Okay, kid. Give it to me!

Marv: [falls down] Oh!

Kevin: Direct hit!

Kate: [to everyone] We're goin to New York, move it!

Buzz: Yes!

Kate: He ran away from the hotel when they questioned him about the card. He must be so scared, Peter.

Peter: I wonder if he'd know enough to go to my brother's place.

Kate: Aren't they in Paris?

Peter: Maybe they have a house sitter.

Kate: I thought you said they were renovating.

Harry: Come to Papa!

Marv: [grabs Kevin's plane ticket] Ha! Round trip to Miami. What's the matter, get on the wrong plane, squirt?

Harry: [tears it up] Looks like you won't be needin this, kid.

Marv: [they hustle him away] American don't fly to the promised land, little buddy.

Harry: Come on. We spent nine months in jail, thinking we had the worst luck in the universe. We were wrong, little buddy.

Marv: [Harry chuckles] We busted out of the clink and we're doing fine. We're gonna be doing even better, because we're not robbing houses anymore. Now we're robbing toy stores.

Marv: At midnight tonight, we're hitting Duncan's Toy Chest. Five floors of cash. Then after that, we get a couple of phony passports, then it's off to Rio...

Harry: Marv! Marv!

Marv: Huh?

Harry: You want to shut up?

Marv: What's the difference? He's not gonna talk to anybody. Except maybe a fish. Or the undertaker.

Harry: [to Kevin] Let's just get him to the subway tunnel. I'll feel a lot better once we get him on ice. I've got a gun in my pocket. You open your mouth, and you'll be spitting gum out through your forehead.

Marv: [trying to be suave again; she punches him in the face and he falls over] Well, hello.

Kevin: [indicating Harry] He did it!

Harry: [she punches Harry, too] Did what?

Kevin: Thanks!

Harry: Go get him!

Marv: He went in the park.

Harry: What are you doing, flirting?!

Marv: Over there!

Boy: Don't!

Girl: Give it!

Marv: Hey, Harry. I got him.

Harry: Let me see! That ain't him! Put him down, that ain't him! We should've shot him while we had the chance. I hate pulling a job, knowing that little creep is on the loose.

Marv: What else can he do? He's a kid. Kids are helpless.

Harry: Not this kid.

Marv: But this time he doesn't have a house full of dangerous goodies to get us with. He's in the park. He's all alone. Kids are scared of the park.

Harry: Yeah, grown men come in the park and don't ever leave alive. Good luck, little fella.

Kevin: You gotta help me! There's two guys after me!

Mr. Hector: What's the matter? Store wouldn't take your... stolen credit card? Let's see what the police have to say about this.

Harry: Get up! Get up! Come on, let's go get him!

Mr. Hector: Get back here, you little thief! Stop that child!

Cedric: [he screams as he and Mr. Hector crash into Mrs. Stone and fall over] Grab him!

Mr. Hector: You little sh...

Kevin: I've committed credit card fraud.

Mr. Hector: Get me security! We've got to stop that delinquent! Come along, Cedric!

Kevin: I've had enough of this vacation. I'm goin home.

Johnny: Hold it right there!

Mr. Hector: This is the Concierge, sir.

Johnny: I knew it was you. I could smell ya gettin off the elevator! You was here last night too, wasn't ya?

Mr. Hector: Yes, sir. I was.

Johnny: You was here...and you was smoochin wit my brother.

Mr. Hector: But...I'm afraid you're mistaken, sir.

Johnny: Don't gimme that. You been smoochin wit everybody! Snuffy, Al, Leo, Little Moe with the gimpy leg, Cheeks, Bony Bob, Cliff...

Cliff: No. It's a lie!

Johnny: I could go on forever, baby!

Mr. Hector: I'm terribly sorry, sir, but I'm afraid you're mistaken. We're looking for a young man.

Johnny: [reveals his [[w:Thompson submachine gun|Tommy gun; Mr. Hector gives a confused look] Alright. I believe ya. . But my Tommy gun don't! Get down on your knees and tell me you love me.

Mr. Hector: [the entire staff gets down on their knees] On your knees. I love you!

Johnny: Ya gotta do better than that!

Staff: [in unison] I love you!

Johnny: [Johnny opens fire wildly, cackling, as the hotel staff dive for cover; while Kevin mouths him from the emergency exit; shoots again; shoots once more] Maybe I'm off my hinges, but I believe ya. That's why I'm gonna let ya go. I'm gonna give ya til the count of 3 to get your lousy, lyin', low-down, four-flushing carcass out my door! 1... 2...! 3! Merry Christmas, ya filthy animal! And a Happy New Year.

Mr. Hector: We'd like to offer you a complimentary suite while you're here. It's a penthouse with a view of the park. I think you'll find it satisfactory. It was recently vacated by the Countess of Worcestershire.

Kate: What kind of hotel allows a child to check in alone?

Mrs. Stone: The boy had a very convincing story.

Kate: What kind of idiots do you have working here?!

Mrs. Stone: The finest in New York.

Peter: Well, I mean, when you discovered that the credit card was stolen, what...

Mr. Hector: [proudly] I made the discovery.

Kate: Why did you let him leave?

Mr. Hector: When we attempted to confront him, he ran.

Peter: You scared him away!

Kate: It's Christmas Eve, and because of you, our child is lost in one of the biggest cities in the world.

Peter: [to Cedric] Could you take our family and our luggage up to the room, please?

Cedric: Yes, sir!

Mr. Hector: Run along, Cedric.

Peter: [to Kate] I'm gonnna go down to the police station. I'm gonna make sure that they're doing everything in their power to find Kevin. I want you to stay here with Frank, Leslie and the kids.

Kate: No! I'm going out to look for him.

Peter: What?

Mr. Hector: With all due respect, madam, your son is lost in one of the biggest cities in the world.

Peter: [to Mr. Hector] Could you stay out of this, please?

Mr. Hector: As you wish.

Peter: [to Kate] Thank you. I don't think it's a good idea for you to start running around all over New York City all by yourself.

Kate: I think if our son can do it, I can do it.

Peter: Kate, if...

Kate: Peter, I'll be fine. The way I'm feeling right now, no mugger or murderer would dare mess with me!

Mr. Hector: [Kate slaps him] Madam, there are hundreds of parasites out there, armed to the teeth- Do bundle up. It's awfully cold outside.

Cedric: [[Herbert Hoover] You know, ] once stayed on this floor.

Kevin: [[w:The Hoover Company|vacuum] The ] guy?

Cedric: No, the, uh, president.

Kevin: Excuse me, where's the lobby?

Donald Trump: Down the hall and to the left.

Kevin: Thank you.

Harry: [takes a deep breath] Here we are, Marv. New York City, the Land of Opportunity. Smell that?

Marv: [takes a deep breath] Yeah.

Harry: You know what that is?

Marv: Fish.

Harry: It's freedom.

Marv: No, it's fish.

Harry: It's freedom, and it's money.

Marv: Okay, okay, it's freedom.

Harry: [leaves the truck] Come on, let's get out of here before somebody sees us.

Marv: [follows Harry] And it's fish.

Harry: Yep, one quick score. We get ourselves a couple of phony passports and we hightail it to some foreign country.

Marv: [shoves tape-covered hand into a donation kettle to steal some coins] Arizona?

Harry: That's very smart, Marv. You bust out of jail to rob 14 cents from a Santy Claus?

Marv: Every little bit helps. Besides, now we got our new nickname. We're the Sticky Bandits!

Harry: [sarcastically] Real cute. Very cute.

Marv: Huh?

Cop: What's the child's name?

Kate: Kevin.

Peter: K-E-V-I-N.

Cop: When did you see him last?

Kate: Curbside check-in?

Peter: No, I saw him at the door. He was with us in the terminal.

Cop: Most people get separated at security checkpoints. Did everyone get through security?

Kate: I don't know. Peter...

Peter: We were in a hurry. We had to run all the way to the gate.

Cop: When did you notice he was missing?

Kate: When we picked up our baggage here.

Cop: Has the boy ever run away from home?

Peter: No.

Cop: Has he ever been in a situation where he's been on his own?

Kate: As a matter of fact, this has happened before. It's becoming a McCallister family tradition.

Peter: Funnily enough, we never lose our luggage.

Kate: He was left at home, by accident, last year.

Peter: That's what my wife meant calling it a McCallister family tradition.

Cop: We'll call Chicago and notify them of the situation. The odds are that's where he is.

Peter: Thanks.

Cop: It's very unlikely he'd be anywhere else.

Cop: Merry Christmas. No sign of him. We're gonna have to be able to get a hold of you. Do you have hotel arrangements?

Peter: Yeah.

Cop: Do you have a recent photo of the boy?

Peter: I have one in my wallet. I don't have my wallet. My wallet's in my bag. Kevin was looking into my bag at the airport. He was looking for batteries. Kevin has my wallet.

Cop: Did you have credit cards in the wallet?

Peter: Credit cards, money...

Cop: We'll notify the credit card companies immediately. If your son has the cards, we can get a location on him when and if he uses them.

Kate: No, I don't think Kevin knows how to use a credit card.

Peter: This Kevin's? Give this to Kevin.

Kate: [tries to pass it to Frank, who waves her off; she passes it to Leslie instead] Give this... Give this to Kevin.

Leslie: Give this to Kevin.

Tracy: Give this to Kevin.

Linnie: Kevin.

Buzz: Give this to Kevin.

Rod: Give this to Kevin.

Sondra: Give this to Kevin.

Megan: Give this to Kevin.

Jeff: Give this to Kevin.

Brooke: Give this to Kevin.

Fuller: [notices elderly couple standing next to him instead of Kevin; passes bag up the line] Here you go, Kevin. Kevin's not here.

Brooke: Kevin's not here.

Jeff: Kevin's not here.

Megan: Kevin's not here.

Sondra: Kevin's not here.

Rod: [passes bag to Linnie, skipping Buzz] Kevin's not here.

Linnie: Kevin's not here.

Tracy: Kevin's not here.

Leslie: [passes bag to Kate, skipping Frank] Kevin's not here.

Kate: [gives bag to Peter] Kevin's not here.

Peter: [incredulously] What?!

Kate: [laughs, but immediately gasps in shock, then screams at the top of her lungs in alarm; faints] KEVIN!!!!!!!!!

Kevin: Dad, wait up!

Kate: Where's Kevin?

Kevin: [He grabs the ticket.] Fourteen. It's a good thing I have my own ticket, just in case you guys try to ditch me.

Kate and Peter: [doorbell rings; both get out of bed] WE DID IT AGAIN! AHHH!

Buzz: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I'd like to apologize for whatever displeasure I might've caused you.

Kevin: What?

Buzz: My prank was immature and ill-timed.

Frank: Immature or not, it was pretty gol-dern hilarious.

Buzz: I'd also like to apologize to my brother. Kevin, I'm sorry.

Kate: [the whole family claps their hands and stops, waiting for Kevin to say something] Oh, Buzz, that was very nice. Kevin, do you have something to say?

Buzz: Beat that, you little trout-sniffer.

Kevin: I'm not sorry! I did what I did because Buzz humiliated me! And since he gets away with everything, I let him have it! And since you're all so stupid to believe his lies, I don't care if your idiotic Florida trip gets wrecked or not! Who wants to spend Christmas in a tropical climate anyway?

Kate: Kevin!

Peter: Kevin, you walk out of here, you sleep on the third floor.

Fuller: Yeah, with me.

Kevin: So what else is new?

Frank: You'd better not wreck my trip, you little sourpuss! Your dad's paying good money for it!

Kevin: Oh, I wouldn't want to spoil your fun, Mr. Cheapskate!

Buzz: What a troubled young man.

Kevin: They're all a bunch of jerks.

Kate: Hi. You know, Kevin, the last time we all tried to take a trip, we had a problem that started just like this.

Kevin: Yeah, with me getting dumped on.

Kate: I don't care for your choice of words. That's not what happened last time, and it's not what's happening this time. Buzz apologized to you.

Kevin: Yeah, then he called me a trout-sniffer. He didn't mean what he said. He was just sucking up to you.

Kate: Okay, why don't you just sit up here for a while and think things over? When you're ready to apologize to Buzz and the rest of the family, you can come down.

Kevin: I'm not apologizing to Buzz! I'd rather kiss a toilet seat!

Kate: Then you can stay up here for the rest of the night.

Kevin: Fine. I don't wanna be down there anyway. I can't trust anybody in this family. And do you know what? If I had my own money, I'd go on my own vacation, alone, without any of you guys. And I'd have the most fun in my whole life.

Kate: Well, you got your wish last year. Maybe you'll get it again this year.

Kevin: I hope so!

Kate: Honey, are you packed yet?

Kevin: Yes.

Kevin on Recorder: Yes.

Kate: Everything I put out?

Kevin: Yes.

Kevin on Recorder: Yes.

Kate: Did you see what Grandma Penelope sent you for the trip?

Kevin: Let me guess. Donald Duck slippers?

Kate: Close. An inflatable clown to play with in the pool.

Kevin: [sarcastically] How exciting. Why do we have to go to Florida? There's no Christmas trees in Florida.

Kate: Kevin, what is it with you and Christmas trees?

Kevin: How can you have Christmas without a Christmas tree, Mom?

Kate: We'll find a nice fake silver one. Or decorate a palm tree.

Announcer: Guests of Ding, Dang, Dong stay at the world-renowned Plaza Hotel: New York's most exciting hotel experience. For reservations, call toll-free, 1-800-759...

Peter: Where's the camcorder battery?

Kate: I put it in the charger. How's this? Oh, much better.

Peter: Hey, Kevin, you'd better go put your tie on. We don't wanna be late for the Christmas pageant.

Kevin: [Peter and Kate stare] My tie's in the bathroom and I can't go in because Uncle Frank's taking a shower. He says that if I walked in there and saw him naked, I'd grow up never feeling like a real man. Whatever that means.

Peter: [after a pause, chuckles] I'm sure he was kidding. Just run in there, get your tie, get out, and don't look at anything.

Frank: Where are my golf balls?

Tracy: Anyone seen my sun block?

Sondra: What's the point of going to Florida if you're gonna put on sun block?

Megan: I don't care if I age like an old suitcase, I'm getting toasted.

Buzz: Great, Now, you can be a skag with a slightly darker shade of skin.

Kevin McCallister: Don't you know a kid always wins against two idiots?

Kevin McCallister: Oh, no. My family's in Florida and I'm in New York. My family's in Florida... I'm in... New York?

Kevin McCallister: This is it. No turning back. Another Christmas in the trenches.

Kevin McCallister: You can mess with a lot of things. But you can't mess with kids on Christmas.