31 quotes
Debating 80s Culture and Freedom
Lou
It's the fucking 80's, guys. Let's do what we want to do. Free Love!
Jacob
That was the 60's, dipshit.
Adam
We had like Reagan and AIDS. Get the fuck outta here, okay? Do the right thing, Violator!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A humorous exchange about a place name
Adam, Nick
Ko... di... ak...
Lou
Valley! Fuckin K-Vals!
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A Fork Incident in Time Travel
April
What happened to your...
Adam
I got stabbed in the face with a fork. I saw it coming, I avoided it, I didn't avoid it. It happened to me in a different way.
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Childhood Memories and Consequences
Jacob
Do you remember when I was 12 and he tried to bite me.
[Referring to Lou]
Adam
Yeah, but you had that coming.
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A Playful Farewell with Cultural References
Nick
D-d-do svidanya! Do svidanya! Martina Navratilova... "Smirnoff Ice"... Priviet! Na zdorovie!translation: "G-g-goodbye! Goodbye! Martina Navratilova... "Smirnoff Ice"... Hello! You're welcome!
[pretending to speak Russian]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confrontation About Ritalin Use
Lou
Don't fuckin lie to me. Every one of you people have ritalin.
[to Jacob, while Lou is shocked that the former does not have ritalin]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Finding What You Need Within Yourself
Father Time (A.K.A.) The Hot Tub Repair Man
Maybe what you need isn't in here. Maybe what you need has been in here all along.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Encouragement to Spend Time Outside
Adam
Why don't you do something out of the house this weekend?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Strong Exclamation of Frustration
Nick
Muthafucka.
[upon seeing their hotel for the first time in years]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unconventional Advice for Taking Medication
Jacob
I have some adavain, but it's different.
[to Lou]
Lou
Well, let's stick it up our asses!
Jacob
It's not a suppository!
Lou
It doesn't matter. You crush it up, put it in a paper towel, run it under some warm water, and you stick it right up your ass. That works!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Struggling with Job Search Challenges
Nick
How am I supposed to get a job?
[on being stuck in the 80's]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Great White Buffalo Discussion
Nick, Lou, Adam
Great White Buffalo.
[Repeated line, whispered]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Celebrity Reference in Conversation
Nick
Enrique fuckin Iglesias!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Confessions in a Hot Tub
Lou
Oh God! I'm gonna cum! Shia Lebeouf! I'm fucking Adam's sister! Dropping loads! So much fucking semen! Little Tiny Jacobs!
[trying to disclaim rumors of his impotence]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Ripple Effect of Small Changes
Adam
One little change has a ripple effect, and it affects everything else. Like a butterfly floats its wings and Tokyo explodes or there's a tsunami in like, you know, somewhere.
Jacob
Yes, exactly. You step on the bug and the fucking internet is never invented.
Lou
Oh, then you'll have to talk to girls with your mouth.
Jacob
Yeah, no. I was more concerned about bigger consequences, like not being born.
Lou
Yeah, no. I don't care about that.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Morality of Exploiting Future Knowledge
Lou
Here's a question: Was it morally wrong for me to exploit my knowledge of the future for personal financial gain? Perhaps. Here's another question: Do I give a fuck?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Texting Tensions Among Friends
Lou
Goddamn it, who the fuck are you texting with?
Jacob
Just a friend.
Lou
Male or fucking female?
Jacob
For your information, I have had lots of girlfriends. Hot ones.
Lou
No, you have had lots of boyfriends. Gay ones.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Questioning Time Travel Consequences
Jacob
Do I really gotta be the asshole who says we got in this thing and went back in time?
[from trailer]
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Understanding Male Bonding in Friendship
Lou
It's called male bonding, okay? Haven't you even seen ]'?
[[Wild Hogs]
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A Comedic Take on Parenthood Planning
Lou
Okay, lay down. We got a stupid baby to make.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Character's Demand for Space in a Bar
Lou
Outta my way stool
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Tension Between Friends Ruins Weekend Plans
Lou
Oh man, what the fuck's he doing here?
[to Adam and Nick]
Jacob
Nice to see you too, Lou.
Lou
Nice to see you too, Lou. Fuck you, Jacob! You suck and you know it! You just ruined my fucking weekend.
[mimicking]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confrontational Response to Unwanted Advice
Lou
Why don't you shut your slut mouth and mind your own fucking business?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Patron Saint of Chaos and Destruction
Adam
You are the patron saint of the totally fucked. You're completely toxic. There's nothing you can't kill. You're the fucking Violator!
[to Lou]
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Miscommunication in a Modern Setting
Jacob
I'm kinda right in the middle of a thing right now, but can I text you later?
Girl at Club
Can you what?
Jacob
Are you online at all?
Girl at Club
I have no idea what you're talking about.
Jacob
How do I get a hold of you?
Girl at Club
You come find me.
Jacob
That sounds... exhausting.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confronting Dark Thoughts with Dark Humor
Lou
If I wanted to kill myself, I'd fucking kill myself. I'd be awesome at it. A shotgun to the dick.
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Casual Attitude Towards Friendship and Humor
Lou
God, relax. It's like you've haven't seen a little cum on your friend's face before.
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Desire for Immediate Gratification
Lou
I wanna fuck something!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Time Travel and Familial Conflict
Jacob
I knew I hated you for a reason! I'm gonna tell everyone in prison I went back in time to kill my own father!
[to Lou]
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Discovery of the Hot Tub Time Machine
Nick
It must be some kind of hot tub time machine...
[deadpans into camera]
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Encountering an Unwelcome Familiar Face
Jacob
Hey look, it's the douchebag from ].
[about Blaine; [The Karate Kid Part III|Karate Kid 3]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.