Hot Tub Time Machine (2010) - Quotes

Encouragement to Spend Time Outside

Adam: Why don't you do something out of the house this weekend?

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Tension Between Friends Ruins Weekend Plans

Lou: [to Adam and Nick] Oh man, what the fuck's he doing here?

Jacob: Nice to see you too, Lou.

Lou: [mimicking] Nice to see you too, Lou. Fuck you, Jacob! You suck and you know it! You just ruined my fucking weekend.

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A Fork Incident in Time Travel

April: What happened to your...

Adam: I got stabbed in the face with a fork. I saw it coming, I avoided it, I didn't avoid it. It happened to me in a different way.

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Miscommunication in a Modern Setting

Jacob: I'm kinda right in the middle of a thing right now, but can I text you later?

Girl at Club: Can you what?

Jacob: Are you online at all?

Girl at Club: I have no idea what you're talking about.

Jacob: How do I get a hold of you?

Girl at Club: You come find me.

Jacob: That sounds... exhausting.

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Debating 80s Culture and Freedom

Lou: It's the fucking 80's, guys. Let's do what we want to do. Free Love!

Jacob: That was the 60's, dipshit.

Adam: We had like Reagan and AIDS. Get the fuck outta here, okay? Do the right thing, Violator!

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The Ripple Effect of Small Changes

Adam: One little change has a ripple effect, and it affects everything else. Like a butterfly floats its wings and Tokyo explodes or there's a tsunami in like, you know, somewhere.

Jacob: Yes, exactly. You step on the bug and the fucking internet is never invented.

Lou: Oh, then you'll have to talk to girls with your mouth.

Jacob: Yeah, no. I was more concerned about bigger consequences, like not being born.

Lou: Yeah, no. I don't care about that.

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The Great White Buffalo Discussion

Nick, Lou, Adam: [Repeated line, whispered] Great White Buffalo.

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Childhood Memories and Consequences

Jacob: [Referring to Lou] Do you remember when I was 12 and he tried to bite me.

Adam: Yeah, but you had that coming.

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Unconventional Advice for Taking Medication

Jacob: [to Lou] I have some adavain, but it's different.

Lou: Well, let's stick it up our asses!

Jacob: It's not a suppository!

Lou: It doesn't matter. You crush it up, put it in a paper towel, run it under some warm water, and you stick it right up your ass. That works!

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Texting Tensions Among Friends

Lou: Goddamn it, who the fuck are you texting with?

Jacob: Just a friend.

Lou: Male or fucking female?

Jacob: For your information, I have had lots of girlfriends. Hot ones.

Lou: No, you have had lots of boyfriends. Gay ones.

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A humorous exchange about a place name

Adam, Nick: Ko... di... ak...

Lou: Valley! Fuckin K-Vals!

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A Playful Farewell with Cultural References

Nick: [pretending to speak Russian] D-d-do svidanya! Do svidanya! Martina Navratilova... "Smirnoff Ice"... Priviet! Na zdorovie!translation: "G-g-goodbye! Goodbye! Martina Navratilova... "Smirnoff Ice"... Hello! You're welcome!

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A Strong Exclamation of Frustration

Nick: [upon seeing their hotel for the first time in years] Muthafucka.

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Discovery of the Hot Tub Time Machine

Nick: [deadpans into camera] It must be some kind of hot tub time machine...

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Struggling with Job Search Challenges

Nick: [on being stuck in the 80's] How am I supposed to get a job?

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Unexpected Celebrity Reference in Conversation

Nick: Enrique fuckin Iglesias!

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Finding What You Need Within Yourself

Father Time (A.K.A.) The Hot Tub Repair Man: Maybe what you need isn't in here. Maybe what you need has been in here all along.

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The Patron Saint of Chaos and Destruction

Adam: [to Lou] You are the patron saint of the totally fucked. You're completely toxic. There's nothing you can't kill. You're the fucking Violator!

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Confronting Dark Thoughts with Dark Humor

Lou: If I wanted to kill myself, I'd fucking kill myself. I'd be awesome at it. A shotgun to the dick.

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Confrontational Response to Unwanted Advice

Lou: Why don't you shut your slut mouth and mind your own fucking business?

Morality of Exploiting Future Knowledge

Lou: Here's a question: Was it morally wrong for me to exploit my knowledge of the future for personal financial gain? Perhaps. Here's another question: Do I give a fuck?

Unexpected Confessions in a Hot Tub

Lou: [trying to disclaim rumors of his impotence] Oh God! I'm gonna cum! Shia Lebeouf! I'm fucking Adam's sister! Dropping loads! So much fucking semen! Little Tiny Jacobs!