18 quotes
Diamonds as a Girl's Best Friend
Pola Debevoise
You know, of course, that diamonds are a girl's best friends. This is our proof of it.
[Being presented by the shop assistant to Tom Brookman]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Catching a Bear: Marriage Dynamics Explained
Schatze
You wanna catch a mouse, you set a mouse trap. All right so we set a bear trap. Now all we gotta do, is one of us has got to catch a bear.
Loco
You mean marry him?
Schatze
If you don't marry him, you haven't caught him, he's caught you.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Dining Conversations and Doggie Bags
Loco
I'll say this for him: we haven't ordered anything yet under five dollars a portion!
Pola
If there's anything left over don't forget to tell the waiter you want to take it home for the dog.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Perceptions of Attractiveness in Different Settings
Schatze
Next thing you got to remember is the gentlemen you meet on the cold cuts may not be as attractive as the one you meet in the mink department at Bergdorf's.
Loco
But he was cute, don't you think?
Schatze
Sure he was. But then I never met one of those gas pump jockey that wasn't.
Loco
Is that what he is?
Schatze
You bet your life he is. I know those guys. I married one once.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Wealth and Age Perception in Relationships
Loco
You don't think he's a little old?
Schatze
Wealthy men are never old.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Perceptions of Beauty and Attention in Romance
Pola Debevoise
Men aren't attentive to girls who wear glasses.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Betrayal in Relationships
Schatze
I was nuts about him. Know what he did to me? First he gave me a phony name. Second, he was already married. Third, the minute the preacher said amen, he never did another tap of work. Then he stole my TV set and gave it to a car hop. When I asked him about that, he hit me with a chicken.
Pola
A live chicken?
Schatze
No, a baked chicken; stuffed.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Last Minute Decision and Its Consequences
J.D.
There was a last minute decision in your favor.
[on why Schatze stopped their wedding]
Tom
Did you tell her about me?
J.D.
No. So far as she knows you're still hustling a gas pump.
Tom
Are you kidding?
J.D.
Well let's go ask her.
Tom
Wait a minute JD! Do you think I ought to tell her?
J.D.
Are you nuts? She clearly prefers gas pump jockeys to millionaires. What do you want to do? Disillusion the poor girl?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Indifference in Pursuit of Wealthy Marriage
Pola
I want to marry Rockefeller.
Schatze
Which one?
Pola
I don't care.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Perceptions of Confidence and Arrogance
Loco Dempsey
Once you get one foot on the ground, you're really quite a jerk, aren't you?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Importance of Ties for Gentlemen Callers
Schatze Page
The first rule is, gentlemen callers have got to wear a necktie!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Dreaming of Marrying a Zillionaire
Loco Dempsey
All my life ever since I was a little girl I've always had the same dream. To marry a zillionaire.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Assessing Relationships and Financial Interests
Schatze
I can't shack up with a dame I've never met before and she's crazy too!
Pola
You don't have to. She'll come up and you'll see if you like her. If you don't...
Schatze
Is she any help to this?
Pola
Let's see. Hey Loc, how much money you got?
[over the phone to Loco]
Loco
I got a quarter.
Pola
Great. Pick up lunch on your way over.
Loco
OK, how many.
Pola
Three.
Loco
OK, I'll be there in 15 minutes.
Schatze
Well that's a big contribution to a million dollar proposition. One whole quarter!
Pola
Maybe, but she's awfully clever with a quarter.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Final Goodbye from Schatze Page
Schatze Page
Just as soon as I finish this, I never want to see you again.
[to Tom Brookman]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Dreaming of Wealthy Marriages
Loco
I wouldn't mind marrying a Vanderbilt?
Pola
Or Mr. Cadillac.
Schatze
No such person. I checked.
Loco
Is there a Mr. Texaco?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Choosing a Husband vs. Horse Racing Wisdom
Schatze Page
Most women use more brains picking a horse in the third at Belmont than they do picking a husband.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Observations on a Potential Suitor
Schatze Page
Look at ], look at ], look at that ], what's his name in ].
[Referring to older men marrying young women; [Franklin D. Roosevelt|Roosevelt; [Winston Churchill|Churchill; [Humphrey Bogart|old fella; [The African Queen]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Schatze Page on Atlantic City and Mothers
Schatze Page
We'd better put a check on that one. Nobody's mother lives in Atlantic City on Saturday.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.