Jackass Number Two (2006) - Quotes

Expression of Personal Shame

Chris Pontius: [''After drinking the horse semen''] I'm ashamed of myself. I really am. I'm completely ashamed of myself.

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Relief in Not Being the Main Star

Chris Pontius: I'm so glad I'm not the star of this movie.

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Questioning the Comedy of Jackass Number Two

Chris Pontius: [''While fishing for [[w:shark|sharks] ], using Steve-O as bait] Dude, isn't this movie supposed to be a comedy?

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Acknowledging Pain from a Stunt

Chris Pontius: [''After sticking a fish hook through Steve-O's mouth''] Oh, man. That hurt to do that to you.

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Fishing for Sharks with Steve-O as Bait

Chris Pontius: I can't believe I'm fishing for sharks with Steve-O as my bait! It's like a dream come true!

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A Moment of Fun and Reflection

Chris Pontius: [''After completing Medicine Ball [[w:Dodgeball|Dodgeball] That was fun. Let's never do that again.

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Exploring the Moon's View with Knoxville

Bam Margera: Knoxville is gonna see what the moon looks like!

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Distrust and Frustration Expressed by Bam Margera

Bam Margera: You fuckers are asses! I don't trust anybody!

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A Bold and Crude Warning

Bam Margera: [''Before plunging Steve-O''] You better shit piss, asswipe!

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Heavy Medicine Ball Challenge Awaits

Bam Margera: It's time to play a game with a bunch of these medicine balls, and they're heavy as shit!

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Fear and the Need for Protection

Bam Margera: [''Johnny Knoxville is about to be launched in the air''] I'm scared just watching him, I want a Lance helmet!

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Bam Margera's Bold Presentation at Friends' House

Bam Margera: We're here at April and Phil's house and I'm gonna present them the branded dick on my butt. No let me rephrase that, DICKS!

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Request for a humorous challenge

Bam Margera: Can somebody make a dick run?

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Unexpected Challenges at a Random Ranch

Bam Margera: [''Doing [[w:Livestock branding|the gluteus cattle-branding] ] skit] Here we are at some random-ass ranch and this is the Brand. And it's gonna suck!

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Unexpected Success in a Stunt Performance

Bam Margera: [''After the Yak Charge''] That couldn't have gone any better. I didn't know Knoxville could do back flips.

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Skateboarding and Emotion: A Reflective Moment

Bam Margera: [''After getting shot by riot explosive''] I'm crying. I'm a fucking skateboarder, I don't get shot!

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Bam Margera's Determination in a Tough Situation

Bam Margera: [''Regarding the Riot Control Test''; [w:French kiss|french-kiss him] If Knoxville goes in there... I'll ].

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Bam Margera's Wish Against Future Jackass Films

Bam Margera: Please God, don't let there be a "Jackass 3". I don't even like 2!

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The Uncertain Fate of a Rocket Launch

Johnny Knoxville: [''Just before the second attempt at "big red rocket"''] Even if the rocket doesn't blow up on me this time, there's really not a lot of great ways for it to end, anyway.

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Johnny Knoxville's Unusual Near-Puking Experience

Johnny Knoxville: [''While gagging after Pontius drinking horse semen''] I never puke ever, and I really almost puked then.

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Observation on Gender and Urination

Johnny Knoxville: [''After Steve-O does the butt chug''] He's peeing like a girl!

Anticipating a Difficult Experience

Johnny Knoxville: This is REALLY gonna suck!

Facing an Uncertain Situation

Johnny Knoxville: [''Preparing Steve-O for the butt chug''; [w:Main Street|Main Street] I'm staring right down ] and it's not looking any good at all.