12 quotes
The Secrets of John's Deception
Kate
I don't get it. I mean, these girls all seem so confident and cool. How do they not know that John's cheating on all of them?
Crying Waitress
He's a total operator. He goes out with girls from different cliques so that they never actually talk to each other. And then he tells them that his father won't let him date during basketball season so they'll have to keep it a secret.
[chuckles]
Kate
How'd you learn all this stuff?
Crying Waitress
I don't know, just a guess.
[sobbing; runs away crying]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Friendship and Humor in a Conflicted Situation
Lori
What are you girls doing?
[walks in]
Carrie
Destroying a man.
Lori
Who do I make my check out to?
[walks out]
Beth
Your mom is SO HOT!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Miscommunication Leads to Unexpected Consequences
Kate
Oh, well before I say yes, how exactly did he get burned?
[about Scott's previous lab partner]
Scott
Uh, well, that is open to interpretation... because he will say that it is my fault, but I clearly said..."Dear God, man, you're on fire. Run for your life.
Kate
A clear warning.
[sarcastically]
Scott
Yeah.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Authenticity in Relationships and Self-Expression
John Tucker
Maybe I come on too strong, but... I don't know who else to be. I just have to put my whole heart into things.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Perceptions of Identity and Worth
Kate
Oh. You're the other Tucker?
Scott
What is that? Is that like "the loser Tucker"?
Kate
Oh, no, no. That's not what I meant. I just... you just don't look...
Scott
Hot, buff, or capable of inciting an all-girl smackdown? No, you're right. Naw, it's-it's cool. I'll let you in on a secret, though. My mom, says I'm special on the inside.
Kate
Good for you.
Scott
Yeah.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Struggling with Emotions After a Breakup
Beth McIntyre
I was so depressed, I couldn't even enjoy the break-up sex. Oh my god, I'm such a slut!
[the girls stare at Beth]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Seek Revenge Instead of Anger
Taglines
Don't Get Mad, Get Even.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Advice on Handling Romantic Interest
Kate
DAMMIT!
Carrie
It's not that hard, uhm... when he speaks to you count to three in your head before you answer him.
Heather
Don't show any interest. Don't even look at him too much.
Carrie
Yeah yeah. You got it?
Carrie
I said you got it?
Kate
I was counting to three!
Beth
Not that slowly! We don't want him to think you're retarded!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unspoken Bonds and Jealousy Among Friends
Heather
So I talked to John. He was sweet. He felt bad for you. He said that you were jealous because we share something special. Something that we don't have to label because...
Beth
Because it's our unspoken bond and I just love how secure you are?
[interrupting]
Carrie
And it hurts me to question it, because...
Heather, Beth, Carrie
... YOU'RE THE ONLY GIRL FOR ME?
Heather
Damn! He said the same thing to all of us!
Beth
Figures. He makes up with us and he hooks up with us...
Carrie
You guys hooked up?
[interrupts, whispers]
Beth
John and I share something special.
Carrie
Oh what, that he's been in both your pants?
Beth
We share a vegan/nonviolent outlook on life.
Heather
Hippie slut.
[under her breath, coughs]
Beth
Oh nice, Heather. It's not like everyone doesn't know that little Miss Cheerleader brings it on.
[sarcastic]
Carrie
What, you too?
Heather
John and I belong together. He is the team captain and I am the head cheerleader.
Beth
Oh, I'm sorry, what kind of cheerleader?
Carrie
Oh, like he'd take either of you two seriously?
Beth
Do not lump me with her!
Heather
Oh so what, you're now better than me?
Kate
Shut up.
Heather, Beth
What?
[peeved]
Kate
Sorry.
Heather
You got something to say?
Kate
No, it's none of my business. Okay, let me guess. Does he always use pet names like "Baby" and "Sweetheart?" Yeah, it's not out of affection, it's so he won't mix up your names. And he's all about an unspoken bond or something special, but never about a relationship. And the whole arrangement was your idea, so you feel guilty that he cheated.
[pause]
Heather
Oh my God, you're dating John too?
Kate
No, I knew a guy like him... Skip.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Desire and Revenge in Relationships
Taglines
Women Want Him. Men Want to Be Him. But These Girls Want to Kill Him.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Planning Revenge Against John Tucker
Heather
I want to bring down you know who.
Beth
Normally, I'm opposed to the slaughter of animals, but in John Tucker's case, I'll make an exception.
Kate
I don't even know him.
Beth
So, you don't even know anyone. You're like the Swiss, you're neutered.
Carrie
Um, it's neutral. Kate, if the three of us tried this alone, we would kill each other. You brought us here. You showed us that we have something in common.
Heather
Exactly. We all want to kill John Tucker.
Kate
Wow. Okay.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Understanding Different Tastes in Relationships
John
So you're lab partners with Kate, right? We talk. What's her deal?
Scott
Yeah, I don't know. I don't think she's your type.
John
Girl is my type.
Scott
Alright, well then maybe you're not her type. She's into stuff like old school Elvis Costello, she listens to obscure podcasts, she reads Dave Eggers. You know, she's deep, man.
John
Dude, I'm deep. I'm dating the poetry club.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.