Johnny Dangerously poster

Johnny Dangerously Quotes

"Organized crime has never been this disorganized!"

PG-13 1984 · 1h 30m
63
Audience
63
Audience
31 quotes
Johnny Dangerously
A Criminal's Favorite Activities
Danny Vermin I enjoy collecting protection money, putting whores to work, loan-sharking. I enjoy planting bombs in people's cars. These are a few of my favorite things.
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Johnny Dangerously
A Unique Job Proposal Among Friends
Danny Hiya doll. Whats your name?
Old Cleaning Lady Mary Margret Catherine Denine.
Danny How would you like to make some money?
Mary One at a time or both of you together.
Danny How much would it cost for you to go clean room 708 and forget you ever saw us?
Mary Seventeen thousand dollars.
Danny Alright seventeen grand it is.
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Johnny Dangerously
Prohibition and Familial Expectations in Conflict
Tommy Kelly Mom, it's prohibition!
Ma Kelly Oh, shut up! Stop acting like some fag choir boy!
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Johnny Dangerously
Anti-Smoking Advice from Johnny Dangerously
Johnny Dangerously And you know for you kids out there who are thinkin about smokin', don't start. And if you started, stop. Smokin don't make you look tough kids. It makes you look stupid. If you gotta put something in your mouth, make it a stick of chewing gum. Sure, thats what Johnny does. Smoking is the worst thing you can do to your body.
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Johnny Dangerously
Special Magnum with Disturbing Capabilities
Dutch It's the .88 Magnum. They made it for him special.
Danny Vermin It shoots through schools.
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Johnny Dangerously
Creative Cooking with Beer and Noodles
Johnny Whatcha cookin here, Ma?
Ma Kelly Beer.
Johnny With noodles! Great idea!
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Johnny Dangerously
The Chaos of Organized Crime
Taglines Organized crime has never been so disorganized!
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Johnny Dangerously
Ma Kelly's Decision on Smoking
Ma Kelly Bless the saints, it's an ashtray! I've been thinking of taking up smoking. This clinches it!
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Johnny Dangerously
Trick Question About Train Travel
Tommy Kelly I just have one last question for you. If a train left New York at 300 miles per hour, and accelerated speed 15 miles per hour, and traveled a distance of 683 miles, tell me sir: what time would that train reach Chicago?!
Roman Moronie That's a fargin trick question!
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Johnny Dangerously
Exploring New Areas of Crime
Johnny Dangerously Diversification. Yes, sir. We're constantly exploring new and exciting areas of crime. And I tell ya somethin'. We better, because there a couple Japanese gangs out there that are going to do it faster and cheaper.
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Johnny Dangerously
Accusations and Insults in Crime Discussion
Tommy Kelly ...that Roman Troy Maronie was responsible for the Mother's Day Massacre, the Christmas Day Slaughter, the Lincoln's Birthday Mutilations, and the Groundhog's Day Beheadings!
Polly You missed, fuckface!
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Johnny Dangerously
Reflections on the Weight of a Name
Johnny Dangerously I never should have picked a name like that. A name like that you gotta live up to.
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Johnny Dangerously
A Humorous Exchange on Death Row
Warden Johnny it's an honor to have you on Death Row.
Johnny Ah don't be silly. The pleasure is all mine.
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Johnny Dangerously
Taking a Break from Crime Responsibilities
D.A. Burr Why don't you ease into the job, by taking a vacation?
Tommy Kelly But what about crime?
D.A. Burr Don't worry. It'll still be here when you get back!
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Johnny Dangerously
Frustration with the Lower East Side
Ma Kelly The Lower East Side. This really sucks.
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Johnny Dangerously
Defending Rights Against Corruption and Injustice
Roman Moroni I would like to direct this to the distinguished members of the panel: You lousy cork-soakers. You have violated my farging rights. Dis somanumbatching country was founded so that the liberties of common patriotic citizens like me could not be taken away by a bunch of fargin iceholes... like yourselves.
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Johnny Dangerously
Urgent Message About Johnny's Brother's Danger
Lil Get this to Johnny on the grapevine. Vermin is going to kill Johnny's brother at the Savoy theater tomorrow night. Got it?
Polly Got it.
Polly Vermin is going to kill Johnny's brother at the Savoy theater, pass it on.
Prisoner Vermin is going to kill Johnny's brother at the Savoy theater tonight, pass it on.
Prisoner Vermin is going to kill Johnny's mother at the Savoy theater tonight, pass it on.
Prisoner Vermin's mother is going to kill Johnny tonight at the Savoy theater, pass it on.
Prisoner There's a message an the grapevine, Johnny.
Johnny Yeah? What is it?
Prisoner Johnny and the Mothers are playin Stompin at the Savoy in Vermont tonight.
Johnny Vermin's going to kill my brother at the Savoy theater tonight!
Prisoner I didn't say that.
Johnny No, but I know this grapevine.
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Johnny Dangerously
Johnny Dangerously's Shift to Legitimacy
Johnny All right, here it is. Johnny Dangerously is going legit.
Gang Member Le-what?
Johnny Legit.
Gang Member Le-why?
Danny I'll tell you le-why. Le-cause Johnny Dangerously... is really Johnny Kelly, brother of the DA, Tommy Kelly.
Gang Member Johnny, is this true? Because if it is, I don't know how to react.
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Johnny Dangerously
Self-Reflection on Personal Reputation
Danny Vermin I've fulfilled a lot of people's predictions about me. I've become a real scumbag.
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Johnny Dangerously
Desire and Humor in Ma Kelly's Words
Ma Kelly I know what you can't say. You wanna get laid. You wanna hump your brains out. Vavoom, vavoom, vavoom!
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Johnny Dangerously
A Warning from Danny Vermin
Danny Vermin You shouldn't shoot me, Johnny. My grandmother shot me once... Once.
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Johnny Dangerously
Father's Influence and Childhood Trauma
Danny Vermin You shouldn't hang me on a hook, Johnny. My father hung me on a hook once... Once.
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Johnny Dangerously
Parking Conflict in a Handicapped Zone
Dutch You can't park here. This is a handicapped zone.
Danny Vermin I am handicapped. I'm psychotic.
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Johnny Dangerously
Parental Influence on Criminal Behavior
Ma Kelly With a father like "Killer" Kelly, it's a wonder neither of you turned out to be a piece o shit criminal.
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Johnny Dangerously
The Distrustful View of Women
Danny Vermin Dames are put on this earth to weaken us, drain our energy, laugh at us when they see us naked.
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Johnny Dangerously
Navigating New Places and New Beginnings
Lil So when I was 18 I left home and came here to Chicago.
Johnny Uh Lil, this ain't Chicago. We're in New York.
Lil You're kidding... Well, New York, Chicago, to a girl on her own, it's all the same.
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Johnny Dangerously
Meeting Between Johnny and the Priest
Warden Your turn, Johnny. The priest you've requested has arrived.
Priest Are you ready my son?
Johnny I'm ready if you are, Father.
Priest Dominus nabiscum, Nabisco. Esperitu sanctum. Dey gas da bus.
Prisoner So long, Johnny.
Johnny You bet.
Priest Me gas da bus. You gas da bus. We missed the bus. They missed the bus.
Prisoner Be brave, huh, Johnny?
Priest When's the next bus?
Johnny Always, Nails.
Priest Summa cum laude. Magna cum laude. The radio's too loudy. Adeste fidelis.
Prisoner Good luck, Johnny.
Priest Semper fidelis. Hi fidelis.
Johnny Why didn't I take shop?
Priest Post meridian. Ante-meridian. Uncle Meridian. All the little meridians.
Prisoner Bye bye, Johnny.
Johnny Bye, Rock.
Priest The Magna Carta. Master charga.
Prisoner Spit in his eye, Johnny.
Johnny You bet, Rabbi.
Priest Dum procellas. Lotsa Vitalis.
Warden Do you have any last words, Johnny?
Warden Well said!
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Johnny Dangerously
Introducing Johnny Dangerously
Johnny Dangerously The name's Dangerously. Johnny Dangerously.
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Johnny Dangerously
Vengeful Threats from Roman Moroni
Roman Moroni You fargin sneaky bastage. I'm gonna take your dwork. I'm gonna nail it to the wall. I'm gonna crush your boils in a meat grinder. I'm gonna cut off your arms. I'm gonna shove em up your icehole. Dirty son-a-ma-batches!
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Johnny Dangerously
Complex Relationships and Unconventional Affections
Ma Kelly You've gotten to be like a daughter to me and I wanna share somethin with ya.
Lil Awww, what's that Mom Kelley?
Ma Kelly I go both ways.
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Johnny Dangerously
A Question of Identity in Conversation
Johnny Say kid, what do they call you?
Lil Impressive.
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