Just Friends (2005) - Quotes

Unrequited Love in Just Friends

Taglines: He loves her. She loves him not.

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Unwanted Words for a Guy

Taglines: Two Words A Guy Never Wants To Hear

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Friendship Struggles Through the Ages

Taglines: Moments like this have been ruining friendships for centuries.

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Friendship Can Have Different Levels of Intimacy

Taglines: Some friends are just friends. Others you get to see naked.

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Confessions of Love and Friendship

Chris: [pause] Look Jamie. I said a lot of crappy things the other night and I'm sorry about that. The truth is, I'm scared to be your friend, because I'm always going to want more. But then I got to thinking that I would rather have you in my life as a friend than not at all. You know that's a lie too.

Jamie Palamino: Why are you back here?

Chris: Because I want to take you on a date. And I don't care if it's in the day, or at night, or whenever, as long as it's a real date. And I wanna tell you how beautiful I think you are. Inside and out. And I wanna have babies with you, and I wanna marry you, and I love you Jamie. I always have.

Chris: [leans in and kisses her. Jamie accepts this for a second and pulls back] Sorry. Twenty years all at once, just blah!

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Unresolved Tension Between Friends Over the Years

Jamie: Why do you keep messing with my head?

Chris: I messed with your head for three days. You've been torturing me for twenty years!

Jamie: Is this all because I didn't screw you in high school? Get over yourself!

Chris: After being the biggest tease for so long, trust me, I am so over myself.

Jamie: Oh, so I'm the tease? I practically throw myself at you the other night and you did nothing!

Chris: And now you know how it feels.

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Confrontation Reveals Hidden Betrayals Among Friends

Mike: The jig is up! Run!

Samantha: You son of a bitch!

Chris: Samantha! You're here! Shit!

Samantha: There she is. There's the little slut you've been banging behind my back!

Old Woman: Me?

Samantha: [Points at Jamie] Not you, wrinkles. Her!

Jamie: Who are you?

Samantha: I'm Samantha James, bitch!

Jamie: Don't shove me!

Samantha: You're a whore! Santa's little whore! Santa's little whore!

Jamie: Get off!

Mike: [In an excited, high pitched voice] Cat fight!

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Reflections on Love and Breakups

Chris: So, how's the love life?

Jamie: Lame. Marty and I broke up a year ago.

Chris: Another jerk, huh?

Jamie: Another jerk, huh?

Chris: I'm just saying... you dated a lot of jerks in high school.

Jamie: So what about you? You in love with anyone besides yourself?

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Navigating Friendship and Romantic Tension

Chris: [thinking] This is it. You're finally going to have sex with Jamie Palamino. Oh God, look at that face. Look at that body. Why are you smiling like a fricken idiot? Go on. Make a move. MAKE A MOVE!

Jamie: What's on your mind?

Chris: [awkwardly] Bush. President Bush. The first family, really.

Chris: [thinking] Dude! You're killing me! This is the girl of your dreams! Ravish her! What if she doesn't want to be ravished? What if she wants to stay friends? Friends don't ravish each other. Friends watch New Years Rockin Eve. I wonder who's hosting this year.

Jamie: Chris, can you put your feet on mine? They're freezing.

Chris: [thinking while cuddling up behind Jamie] Yeah. Hell yeah. Her feet aren't even cold. This is it. Don't even think about how weird tomorrow's going to be.

Jamie: Chris?

Chris: [thinking as he slowly rolls over off of her] Oh God. Oh, God. What are you doing? Where are you going?

Jamie: Is everything alright?

Chris: Oh, everything's fine. Yeah. You okay? Uh, you need another blanket or anything?

Jamie: No, I'm fine.

Chris: [thinking; to Jamie] Ah. You're not going to make a move are you? Good night, Jamie.

Jamie: Good night, Chris.

Chris: [thinking] You don't deserve a penis!

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A Surprising Compliment Sparks a Conversation

Jamie: We need to talk about what you wrote. Is that really how you feel?

Chris: I don't know. Maybe. Why?

Jamie: Because that's the nicest thing anyone's ever written me.

Chris: It was?

Jamie: [goes to kiss him. Chris goes for her lips and she moves to his cheek] Yes. I love you Chris - - like a brother!

Chris: Hmm?

Jamie: We're friends right?

Chris: For sure!

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Discussion on Environmental Awareness and Vehicles

Chris Mom: Dusty, what kind of car is this?

Dusty: Carol, this little Japanese princess here is called the Prius.

Chris Mom: I think it's so neat that you kids care about the environment.

Chris: I love the environment.

Chris Mom: But honey, don't you drive a Range Rover? Aren't those bad?

Chris: [pause] Well, I had a really nice time tonight, and I hope we can do it again soon. Hey, Dusty, thanks for comin'.

Dusty: Oh, listen, man, it was my pleasure, really. Thank you all for having me. It was so nice.

Dusty: And hey, before I forget, make sure to that you rinse that thing at least twice a day, okay? Your mouth is a disgusting open cesspool with germs and bacteria. Now put that back!

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Miscommunication Leads to Awkward Date Moment

Clark: How'd the big date go?

Chris: It was terrible. I went in for a kiss, but she wants a hug, okay? Then I get caught in a sort of kiss-hug limbo type thing. I don't know what that is, then I ended up shaking her entire body!

Clark: So you gave her a body shake?

Chris: Oh, God! I should've just kissed her! What am I doing?

Clark: It looks like you picked up right where you left off. You're back in the friend zone.

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Miscommunication Between Mother and Son

Chris Mom: [Starts dialing while Chris is on the phone] Joyce? Joyce?

Chris: Mom, I'm on the phone.

Chris Mom: Chris? What are you doing over at Joyce's?

Chris: No Mom, I'm in the living room ten feet away from you, and I'm on the phone.

Chris Mom: Oh. Well, while I have you on the phone, dear, what would you like for dinner? We have a choice between chicken chow mein or pot-roast.

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Confidence in Competition

Chris: I can't compete with this guy!

Clark: You can't compete? Are you kidding? You're Chris Brander. You're Hollywood, you date models! He's Jersey, he skis in his jeans. It's Dinkleman. It's Dusty Dinkleman.

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Unexpected Conversations About Ham

Mike: Yeah I slapped the ham to it about an hour ago.

Chris Mom: What ham did you slap, honey? Not the one I just bought.

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A Shared Affection for a Poster

Samantha: Do you really have my poster on your wall?

Mike: Yeah.

Samantha: Do you ever...

Mike: All the time!

Samantha: How many times a day?

Mike: Eight.

Samantha: Eight? Ooh that's hot!

Mike: You're hot.

Samantha: I know! I know.

Unexpected Reactions to Bold Statements

Samantha: I wanna lick your SKIN off.

Chris: I’d prefer you didn’t.

Avoiding Lunch Plans for Romantic Interests

Chris: What about Sheila? You making any headway?

Ray: We'll see. I'm taking her to lunch today.

Chris: Oh, whoa, whoa whoa. Don't - don't do that. Okay? Don't do lunch.

Ray: Why?

Chris: That's like the express lane to the friend zone.

Ray: What the hell's the friend zone?

Chris: See when a girl decides that you're her friend, you're no longer a dating option. You become this complete non-sexual entity in her eyes, like her brother, or a lamp.

Ray: I don't want to be a lamp.

Chris: [points to a clumsy guy and a gorgeous girl skating together] Yea well then don't be her friend, okay? Take that guy for example...

Ray: You mean that couple?

Chris: No, I mean the guy that wishes they were a couple.

Ray: What is your point?

Chris: My point is - Call Sheila, Ray. Call her right now. Move your day date to tonight. Play the entire thing aloof and no matter what you do, kiss her at the end. Cause friends don't kiss.

Weight Loss and Unusual Comparisons

Mr. Palamino: How did you lose all that weight? Like that retard from Subway?

Clark: [about Chris and Jamie] Are you guys on the same menstrual cycle yet, or what?

Appreciating the Beauty of Simplicity in Writing

Dusty Lee Dinkelman: [[Nicholas Sparks; Looks at Chris's completely feminine Christmas sweater] I mean, listen, I know it might sound a little corny, maybe even a little femme, but I find something so resplendent in the simplicity of ] writing, you know what I mean? Nice outfit, by the way. Rock and roll.

A Harsh Reminder of Insecurities

Mike Brander: You’ll always be fat to me, Chris!

Siblings and Acceptance in Just Friends

Mike Brander: Raise your hand if your brother's a homo!

Moment of Realization and Surprise

Samantha James: [[w:Punk'D|Punk'D; [w:Ashton Kutcher|Ashton] Wait a minute, am I being ]? Oh my god! ], you really got me! Ha Ha! Ashton! Ashton?

Greatest Musical Manager Team Concept

Samantha James: [to Chris; [w:Jessica Simpson|Jessica Simpson] You and I are gonna be the greatest musical manager team since ] and her father only you and I get to "mreow" and they can't, cause it's illegal. I looked it up.

The Essence of Forgiveness and Reconciliation

Samantha James: [singing and playing guitar] Forgiveness, is more than saying sorry. To forgive is divine. So let's have a glass of wine. And have make-up sex until the end of time, time, time, time, timmmmmmeee! Time.

Revealing Insecurities About Love and Identity

Chris Brander: So that's why she went with Dusty. She wants a sensitive guy... more like the old me. Well, if she wants Mr. Rogers, then I'm going to show her the biggest pussy she's ever seen.