16 quotes
Velour Industry on Standby
Sir Cedric
We'll put the velour industry on full standby.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Ralph References Don Ho's Influence on Music
Ralph
And here's one from the great Don Ho, the godfather of Hawaiian Soul...
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Importance of Image in Car Marketing
King Mulamboa
My people are inventive. We seek to manufacture the world's first African car. If we are to market it in the United States should we not be concerned about gas mileage?
King Ralph
Gas mileage is fine, but keep in mind - the first question every car buyer asks themselves is Will this car get me laid?
King Ralph
And that my friend, is game.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Discovery of a Potential Heir
Phipps
Sir Cedric! Sir Cedric! Good news. I do believe we found an heir!
Sir Cedric
That's wonderful, Duncan. Who is he?
Phipps
His name is Jones. Ralph Jones.
Sir Cedric
Ralph Jones. Is he everything we might have hoped?
Phipps
{embarrassed} Well. He has his strengths and his weaknesses. You see, he's an American.
Sir Cedric
Quickly, Duncan! The strengths!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Last Heir of the Royal Family
Taglines
A great tragedy has befallen the royal family leaving only one heir to the throne...
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Socializing and Hunting: A Royal Conversation
Hale
I'm glad you find her so. Best wishes in your fox hunting.
[''Ralph has referred to Princess Anna as a "fox"'']
King Gustav
Fox hunting? You like fox hunting, yes.
Ralph
Well, I don't get out much lately. But I used to go out almost every evening. One club or another.
King Gustav
Really? That often? You must have collected several tails.
Ralph
Well, I admit I slept with a few. But I'm not like that anymore. Now a days, you can't be too careful. You don't know who they've been with.
[''shocked'']
King Gustav
No, I suppose not.
Ralph
Yeah? Once I got a steady girl, that put an end to it.
King Gustav
She did not like fox hunting?
Ralph
Of course not! Anna's not into it, is she?
King Gustav
Oh, yes! She loves it! Most royals do.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Cultural Misunderstanding in Royal Greetings
Sir Cedric
Your Majesty, may I present the Sovereign King Mulamboa of Zambei.
King Ralph
Hey, homes! What's happening? Give me quintet, brother!
[''seeing that the king is black, using a Eubonics dialect'']
King Mulamboa
I do not comprehend, Your Majesty!
King Ralph
Uh... welcome, Your Majesty. On behalf of the people of the United Kingdom... Uh, do you want to go get a beer?
[''uncomfortable silence'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Royal Travel Destinations Discussed in Conversation
Princess Anna
Mummy, Daddy and I have been to all the places the royals go. Cairo, Singapore, Gstaad, Aspen, Paris and of course Ascot.
King Ralph
Ascot? Where is that?
Princess Anna
England.
Sir Cedric
How's it going, Your Majesty?
Ralph
Great. We've got nothing in common and she's got a voice like a tuba. If she had her way, we'd have sex on a bed of nails on national television. But at least the party stinks.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Laughter Fades as Ralph Embraces Royalty
Taglines
When Ralph becomes royalty, laughter resigns!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confusion Over Traditional English Dishes
Sir Cedric
These are a few of our traditional English dishes, some of which you will be served tonight. Here we have roast beef and yorkshire pudding, bangers and mash, and the ever-popular Spotted Dick.
Ralph
Spotted Dick??
Ralph
Dick of WHAT???
Sir Cedric
These are the bangers. Sausages.
Sir Cedric
Spotted Dick is the dessert.
Ralph
Can I just have some ice cream?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Challenge of Offering Advice Boldly
Sir Cedric
It is far easier to whisper advice from behind the scenes rather than risk its merit at the point of attack.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Accusations of Corruption in Royal Circles
Lord Percival
This is an OUTRAGE! A VILE piece of slander! I demand to know the source of these allegations!
[''after Ralph accuses him of undermining him'']
Ralph
We haved the signed confession of a royal page, Gordon Halliwell, who worked Lord Graves.
Lord Percival
I know no such man!
Ralph
And several cheques made out to the photographers who took the pictures, signed by Lord Graves. Whose fingerprints were also on the photographs.
Lord Percival
So! I saw them at the ball!
Ralph
And Scotland Yard found the negatives at his house this morning.
King Ralph
By the Treason Act of 1702 forbidding interference in the proper succession of a monarch. Enacted by...
Ralph
William III!
Various Members of Parliament
SHAME! SHAME! SHAME! SHAME!
[''staggered throughout Parliament as Lord Graves is escorted out by Scotland Yard'']
Dysentery
That's right! String him up! Wanker!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Royal Comedy of Grand Scale
Taglines
A comedy of majestic proportions
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Debate on National Pride and Indifference
Dysentery
Since when do we give a toss about this kind of bullshit???
Punk Girl
Shut up, Dysentery! Where's your sense of national flippin pride?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
King Ralph's Unexpected Fabric Preference
Tailor
Would this be to your liking, Your Majesty?
King Ralph
You know, I kinda like that one.
Tailor
That's an upholstery fabric, Your Majesty.
King Ralph
Yeah?
Cedric
The English people don't generally like their monarch to look like a sofa.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Dating Restrictions for Kings Discussed
King Ralph
Aw man, if he gets more than a 7 we're screwed.
King Ralph
Listen, I've been meaning to ask you, do they tell you who you could date over there?
King Mulamboa
Of course not. I am the King.
King Ralph
Damn, I knew I was getting hosed over here.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.