19 quotes
Misunderstandings in Communication and Intelligence
Roy
Just because you're familiar with the missionary position doesn't make you a missionary.
Claudia
Look, Mr. Munster, you're not exactly the smartest guy I ever ran across.
Roy
Oh yeah? And who are you, Alfred Einstein?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Comedic Take on Bowling Culture
Taglines
A movie with a lot of balls.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Pressure and Tension in Bowling Competition
Ernie McCracken
It all comes down to this roll. Roy Munson, a man-child, with a dream to topple bowling giant Ernie McCracken. If he strikes, he's the 1979 Odor-Eaters Champion. He's got one foot in the frying pan and one in the pressure cooker. Believe me, as a bowler, I know that right about now, your bladder feels like an overstuffed vacuum cleaner bag and your butt is kinda like an about-to-explode bratwurst.
Roy
Hey. Do you mind? I wasn't talking when you were bowling.
Ernie McCracken
Was I talking out loud? Was I? Sorry. Good luck.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Warning Against Encountering Dangerous Individuals
Taglines
You wouldn't want to meet these pinheads in an alley.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Effects of Good Sex
Landlady
What is it about good sex that makes me have to crap? You really jarred something loose, Tiger!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Comedy Just for You
Taglines
A comedy right up your alley.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
From the Creators of "Dumb and Dumber
Taglines
From the idiots what brung you "Dumb and Dumber
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Bowling Skills and Family Conversations
Roy
Yeah, sure, Thomas can raise a barn, but can he pick up a 7-10 split?
Ishmael
God blessed my brother to be a good carpenter. It's okay.
Roy
Yeah, well, he blessed you, too, and I'll give you a clue what it is. It's round, it has three holes, and you stick your fingers into it.
Ishmael
You leave Rebecca out of this, mister!
[He points his finger into Roy's face]
Roy
I'm talking about bowling! Your future!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Misunderstanding About the Farm Animal
Roy
Morning! I hope you don't mind; I got up a little early so I took the liberty of milking your cow for you. It took a little while to get her warmed up-she sure is a stubborn one!
[takes a drink from the bucket]
Mr. Boorg
We don't have a cow. We have a bull.
Roy
I'll brush my teeth.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confronting Boundaries and Respecting Personal Space
Roy Munson
Take that, you freaky piece of shit. You don't mow another guy's lawn.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Comment on physical appearances in context
Ernie McCracken
It's a small world when you've got unbelievable tits Roy.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Debate on Stimulants: Coffee vs. Cigarettes
Ishmael
I don't drink coffee.
Roy
Why not?
Ishmael
Because it's a stimulant.
Roy
What the hell do you think cigarettes are?
Ishmael
They are?
Ishmael
All right, make it an extra large, two sugars, lots of cream. Lots of cream.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confronting Insults with Defiance
Roy Munson
Who you calling psycho?!?!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unapproved by the Olympic Committee
Taglines
The movie the Olympuk comitee wouldn't allow you to see.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Debating the Dangers of Smoking
Ishmael
You really should try to quit, Mr. Munson. They say it's bad for your heart, your lungs. It quickens the aging process.
[On smoking]
Roy
Is that right? Who's done more research on the subject than the good people at the American Tobacco Industry? They say it's harmless. Why would they lie? If you're dead, you can't smoke.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unwanted Perfume Request at a Restaurant
1979 Waitress
Tanqueray and Tab.
Ernie McCracken
Keep em comin', sweets, I got a long drive. Do me a favor, will you? Would you mind washing off that perfume before you come back to our table?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Life's Struggles and Enduring Challenges
Roy Munson
The world can really kick your ass. I only have a VAGUE recollection of when it wasn't kickin mine.
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Health Risks of Drinking Urine Discussed
Mike
Can you get sick from drinking piss?
Roy
Yeah, I think you can.
Mike
Even if it's your own?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Gravy Train with Biscuit Wheels
Ernie McCracken
You're on a gravy train with biscuit wheels.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.