Kronk's New Groove - Quotes

Tipo: We can't let him down. We just gotta win that trophy for Kronk!

Kronk: So, it all comes down to one event.

Miss Birdwell: The Chipmunk cheer off!

Both: There's only one thing to do.

Miss Birdwell: Practice, practice, practice!

Kronk: Do whatever it takes to WIN!

Miss Birdwell: He can't do this to my little chippers!

Kronk: She can't do this to my little chippers.

Tipo: Yeah!

Kronk: That's it. Oh, that's it. The gloves are coming off. We're going mano a womano.

Both: Let the games begin!

Juryman: [Kronk and his kids gasp in horrified shock] Troop Kronk is disqualified! The aquatic competition goes to Troop Birdwell!

Kronk: Hey, that's not fair!

Miss Birdwell: You ruined the aquatic event for my poppets.

Kronk: But now you've ruined it for my, uh…

Tipo: [whispers] Poppets.

Kronk: Poppets. I knew that.

Miss Birdwell: Well then, I suppose you should've thought of that sooner. Come alone, chippers! Toodle pip. Toodle pip.

Kronk: [trying to tie Tipo's shoelaces] Why?! Why is this happening?! I just don't understand. It just doesn't make any sense. Was it loop over, loop under and pull, or loop under, loop over and pull? Tipo, you okay, little pal?

Tipo: We're gonna lose the trophy because of her.

Tipo: Look at them. They're really snot and polish.

Chaca: Yeah. It's "spit and polish.

Tipo: Snot.

Chaca: Spit.

Tipo: Snot!

Chaca: Spit!

Tipo: Snot!

Chaca: Spit!

Tipo: Snot!

Chaca: Spit!

Tipo: Snot!

Kronk: Whoa, whoa. Easy, kids. Spit, snot, same general neighborhood.

Yzma: [standing on the edge of the bridge; looks down below, seeing alligators and piranhas in the ravine] Back off, or I'll jump! Wait, that can't be right.

Kronk: [Yzma grumbles annoyingly] Okay. Why don't we all just take a step back? Not you, Yzma.

Rudy: She stole everything we have!

Ipi: Yeah, we didn't chase her all the way down here for nothing! Nice moves back there, Hildy.

Hildy: Oh! What about you? Pouncing like a wildcat.

Rudy: Hey, I just realized something. We chased Yzma all the way down here.

Ipi: Didn't I just cover that?

Rudy: Don't you see? We're busting moves like a bunch of teenagers!

Ipi: So, what you're saying is, even though the potion was fake, we're only as old we feel.

Kronk: [laughs; then realizes] That's almost like you should (all) thank Yzma for robbing you of every last cent. Wait, that can't be right.

Ipi: Let's get her!

Yzma: [takes out her potion] Stand back! Don't make me use this!

Seniors: Ooh!

Kronk: Your cough medicine?

Yzma: [cackles evilly and then starts to choke] No! My most fiendishly diabolical potion ever! When I drink this, you won't be able to lay a finger on me!

Ipi: GET HER!

Seniors: How cute! She's a cutie pie!

Yzma: [an eagle swoops in and grabs her, and flies off far away] See? I told you so.

Kronk: That's weird. Let's all reflect on these lessons on our way home tonight.

Rudy: Well, everyone, back to the alley.

Kronk: You're living in an alley?

Rudy: Well, sure. We sold our house to you. I got dibs on the cardboard box!

Kronk: This is awful. I've got to find them a place to live. But where can I find a gigantic house with 30 extra bedrooms? Where? Think, think, think!

Angel Kronk: You thinking what I'm thinking?

Kronk: Too much salt in my spinach puffs?

Angel Kronk: No, no! Your house!

Kronk: Right!

Devil Kronk: Whoa, Nelly! Let's not overreact. You wanna lose your dream house? That house is gonna get us the big thumbs up from Papi.

Kronk: If I lose the house, I'll let Papi down. I can't let Papi down.

Angel Kronk: But you tricked Rudy out of that house!

Kronk: Oh, my! It's true! I took away Rudy's home!

Devil Kronk: Hey! You got that house fair and square!

Angel Kronk: Yeah, but he cheated his best friend!

Devil Kronk: No, he didn't!

Kronk: [grabs Devil Kronk by the throat; runs over to Rudy] Yes, I did! I gotta do the right thing. Rudy, let's talk real estate.

Kronk: [Rudy looks at his reflection, realizing he's still the same. He looks at the fake potion; Rudy pats him on the shoulder, making him feel better] Rudy, Yzma's youth potion is a fake. She cheated you. And I cheated you too. I'm sorry. I guess we better go tell the others.

Rudy: [gasps in realization] The others! I almost forgot! They're about to elect Yzma emperor!

Kronk: I never knew that was an elective office.

Crowd: Yzma for emperor!

Yzma: Thank you, thank you! I'd like to thank all the little people, but what do they matter? What matters is me, me, me! And when you elect me as your new emperor, I'm going to be on top of the world!

Kronk: Stop this charade!

Rudy: Yzma's youth potion is a fake!

Yzma: [through gritted teeth] Kronk, what are you doing?!

Kronk: I want you all to look at Rudy and tell me what you see.

Hildy: Whoo, that is one hot hunk of man!

Kronk: [pulls down a level chart of Rudy's age; holds up an hourglass] He's in his golden years. Not getting any younger. Chronologically challenged.

Rudy: I got wrinkles, bunions, ear hair! I'm still OLD!

Topo: Hey, he's right. I'm still old too!

Ipi: Me too! And Hildy looks like…

Hildy: Uh-uh-uh, don't even!

Crowd: [outraged] Yzma's a crook! Yzma's a witch!

Yzma: [laughs nervously; runs away] Would you excuse me a moment?

Ipi: She's getting away!

Yzma: Welcome to my new secret lab! Souvenir photo?

Kronk: [disappointed] Rats, my eyes are closed.

Yzma: Follow me!

Kronk: Whoa, looks like someone's been busy.

Yzma: [thunder crashes] I've finally done it, Kronk. I've created the elixir of life. The answer to everyone's prayers. Behold the fountain of youth in a bottle! Regular and diet.

Ipi: Does this look like a rash to you?

Topi: [looking around for his dentures] Has anybody seen my teeth?

Hildy: Oy! My aching knee.

Rudy: [sighs] I sure wish there was some way to stop getting old.

Hildy: [sighs] If only they could put youth in a bottle. I'd pay anything for that.

Ipi: Again with the youth potion. How many times do I have to tell you, there's no such thing!

Hildy: But if there were...

Ipi: But there's not!

Hildy: I said, if!

Ipi: If, schmiff!

Mata: What's with you?

Kronk: [fearfully; shows her the telegram] It's my father. He's coming for a visit!

Mata: [takes out her reading glasses; sighs as she reads] Can't wait to meet your wife and kids and see your big house on the hill. Cordially, your father, Papi." So?

Kronk: So Papi said l have to have all those things if I'm ever gonna be a success. And I once had them, but I lost them!

Mata: So?

Kronk: So I never told him that part.

Mata: Big whoop. Tell him the truth.

Kronk: What? Tell him the truth? Are you nuts? You don't let a guy like Papi down, or you'll get one of these. The Cold Shoulder, the Frenzied Eyebrow, the Grimace of Doom, the Sneer of Despair, the Crippling Wince of Guilt, the Scowl of lmpending Wrath, and worst of all, the Nostril Flare of Total Rejection.

Mata: Total rejection. Right, right. Mm-hmm.

Kronk: [Flashback to his youth; voice-over; end of flashback] I remember it well. Too well. You see, I was always different growing up. Papi didn't approve. He said if I didn't get serious, I'd never amount to anything. But nothing I ever did was good enough for him. All I ever wanted was a thumbs up from Papi. And I was so close. I once had a big house, on a hill. Papi would have loved it. That house was a dream come true.

Chicha: Boy, the place is packed.

Kronk: Yeah, never had this many friends when I was an evil henchman.

Pacha: And look at you now, chef at Mudka's.

Kronk: And head delivery boy!

Man: [speaking fast] Delivery Boy Logo used by permission and may not be reproduced without the express written consent of Delivery Boy Logo 8675309.

Kronk: I get my one-year pin next week.

Yzma: [takes out her potion] Stand back! Don't make me use this! (Kronk: Your cough medicine?) No! My most fiendishly diabolical potion ever! When I drink this, you won't be able to lay a finger on me!

Yzma: Big load of happy, coming through!

Yzma: Step right up, ladies and gentlemen! It's finally arrived. The cure for everything that ails you. Yzma's Young and Beautiful!

Yzma: [realizes what she said; laughs evilly] I need gold, Kronk! I mean, you need gold.

Yzma: [thunder crashes] I've finally done it, Kronk. I've created the elixir of life. The answer to everyone's prayers. Behold the fountain of youth in a bottle! Regular and diet.

Yzma: Welcome to my new secret lab!

Kronk: You see, Papi, you may look at my life and think I've got nothing, but the truth is I've got everything.

Kronk: Dear Papi, remember how I've never been able to meet the right girl? Uh, any girl? Well, I finally found the woman of my dreams. She's everything you could want in a woman and more. Don't get too excited. We'll take it nice and slow at first. And we'll get married in a fancy ceremony and have lots and lots of kids. - Love, Kronk.

Kronk: Why?! Why is this happening?! I just don't understand. It just doesn't make any sense. Was it loop over, loop under and pull, or loop under, loop over and pull?

Kronk: Doing good cost me my dream house. And then… (Mata: Don't tell me.) It cost me my girl. (Mata: I said, don't tell me.) These oven mitts were the last thing she touched, other than my fragile heart… Before she walked out of my life.

Kronk: Dear Papi, remember how you never thought I'd amount to anything? Well, I got news for you. Good news. I finally got that big house on a hill you've always wanted me to have. It's really great. You're gonna love it. It's got all the amenities. Swimming pool, golf course… The windmill's a killer. And my favorite part of all. Pancake junction! I even built a cozy little guest wing just for you. Yep. Just a big, serious house for a big, serious guy. Like me. That's who I am.

Kronk: [looking at the souvenir photo; disappointed] Rats, my eyes are closed.

Kronk: My nightmare began on a day like any other. So, technically, I guess that would be a "daymare." But I digress. It was lunchtime, and I was making my usual deliveries around town. I always saved the best stop for last, to see my dear old friends at the Flickering Embers Home for Seniors. A happier group of folks you'd never hope to meet. A perfect example of how to grow old with grace and dignity.

Kronk: Papi didn't approve. He said if I didn't get serious, I'd never amount to anything. But nothing I ever did was good enough for him.

Kronk: You don't want to let a guy like Papi down, or you'll get one of these. The Cold Shoulder, the Frenzied Eyebrow, the Grimace of Doom, the Sneer of Despair, the Crippling Wince of Guilt, the Scowl of Impending Wrath, and worst of all, the Nostril Flare of Total Rejection.

Kronk: [opens the drawer but finds there are no spoons] What am I gonna do? I know. I'll tunnel out of here with a spoon, escape through the sewers and live as a quiet but lonely shepherdess named Maria. That'll work. We're out of spoons! That's it. I'm done for.

Kuzco: Boom, baby! Like how I weaseled myself in the movie? Nice. (Kronk: Kuzco?) How you doing, hot stuff? (Kronk: Hot stuff?)

Kuzco: [camera zooms in on Yzma's armpit hairs] It's a scam! Her potion's a fake! She's selling snake oil, people! Wake up! Oh, you saw it already, huh? Well, smarty, I bet you didn't see this! Oh, yikes! That is gonna haunt me in my nightmares. Can we just move on, please? Guy in the booth! Now!

Kuzco: Right now, it's Kronk's turn to be in the limelight.

Kuzco: So, right about now, you're probably wondering, "Hey, where's that emperor guy?" Wella-wella-boom, baby! Kuzco here, coming to you live from the palace.