Kung Fu Panda 3 (2016) - Quotes

Taglines: Grab destiny by the dumplings.

Taglines: The weight is over.

Po: Dad. Dad. Dads!

Li and Mr. Ping: [both run to Po and hug him] Son!

Mr. Ping: Don't you go disappearing in petals ever again.

Li Shan: We thought we lost you.

Po: [looks at everybody and Big Fun laughs] No, you saved me. you all did. Now, come on over here!

Big Fun: Hugs!

Po: Master Shifu!

Shifu: [notices the Staff of Wisdom in Po's hand] The student has truly become the tea- Wait. Where did you get that?

Po: Oh, this. Oogway gave it to me in the Spirit Realm.

Shifu: [sighs] Of course he did.

Po: I think I've mastered chi.

Shifu: [sighs again, facepalms; looks at him hopefully; Po happily nods yes] Of course you did. Can you teach me?

Kai: It took me five hundred years to take Oogway's chi. I will have yours if it takes me five hundred more!

Po: [makes "chit-chat" gestures; his dragon avatar mimics the movement; furious, Kai charges at Po, who begins to charge his chi energy; channels his chi into Kai's body] Chitty-chitty-chat-chat! Chit-chat! You want my chi so bad? Then take it!

Kai: [last words before his death; the jade pendants, the chi he has collected from the Masters, begin to break away from him; begins to glow, overloaded with power, as the pendant of Oogway floats away from him; in a flash of light, he's finally destroyed] Yes! The power...is mine! Wait! No! It's too much! IT'S TOO MUCH!! NO! NO!!!

Master Bear: [in combat stance] Who, huh, where'd he go?

Viper: We're back!

Monkey: Besties!

Mantis: I'm still green, it didn't work! Oh, wait, that's my normal green.

Mantis: No! Not a baby! Antenna of Fear! Antenna of Fear!

Li Shan: What about Po?

Tigress: Have you seen Po?

Viper: No...he's not here.

Mr. Ping: [worried] Po? Po? Why isn't he back?

Oogway: Dragon Warrior.

Po: [floats right into the water, and then back up; Oogway laughs] Oogway? Whoa! I can't believe it! Whoa...you are extra shiny.

Oogway: As are you.

Po: I know, right? It's like the best cape ever. When I run with it, then it looks really cool.

Oogway: It suits you. You've grown.

Po: Yeah, gotta lay off the Panda Buffet.

Oogway: [chuckles] Grown up. As I hoped you would when I sent the message to your real father.

Po: You sent the universe mail? Whoa!

Oogway: Yes. Because the universe needed you.

Po: Me? W-Why me?

Oogway: You finally became the panda you were always meant to be.

Po: But...how'd you know I could?

Oogway: [We flashback to the first movie, Oogway choosing him as the Dragon Warrior; We flashback to Oogway learning chi from the ancient pandas] On the first day we met. I saw the future of kung fu... ...And the past. I saw the panda who could unite them both. That is why I chose you, Po. Both sides of the yin and yang... and my true successor.

Kai: Who are you?

Po: [performs multiple stances by using his chi; forms a chi dragon avatar around him; laughs] I've been asking the same question. Am I the son of a panda? The son of a goose? A student? A teacher? Turns out...I'm all of them. I am the Dragon Warrior. Get it? See the giant dragon? Get ready to feel the thunder! Whoa! This is awesome!

Li Shan: Po...You taught us who we were meant to be. A father.

Tigress: A friend.

Panda Cub: A dumpling kicker.

Panda Grandmother: A lethal fighting machine.

Big Fun: A hugger.

Mei Mei: A nunchuck chick.

Lei Lei: Stripy baby.

Mr. Ping: A family.

Kai: [cuts of the panda villagers' escape with his blade; to Po] So, Oogway, this was the one destined to stop me? I will have his chi. And then all of theirs! And you...You really thought you can send me back to the Spirit Realm? You are just a stupid mortal.

Po: [points out in the air; Kai looks distractedly; then jumps on Kai and headlocks him with his arms] It only works on mortals. You're right. I can't send you there. But I can take you there. What's that?

Tigress: Po!

Li Shan: Son!

Po: [looks at his family, Mr. Ping, and Tigress one last time; then...; lowers his pinky, releasing a yellow shockwave] Skadoosh!

Li Shan and Mr. Ping: SON!

Kai: NO!

Li Shan: What happened? Where's Po?

Tigress: He took Kai away. He saved us.

Li Shan: No.

Mr. Ping: He saved us. But who's saving him?

Po: [flexes his pinkie, nothing happens] Sorry, buddy. Gotta send you back to the Spirit Realm. Skadoosh! Okay...That didn't work, let me try one more time. Skadoosh! Skadoosh, skadoosh...! What the...?

Kai: [retches, then laughs] Hold on, wait! It is working! No! No, no! No! No! Oh, no! No, no, no, no, no, no! No! No, it's not. Did Oogway teach you that little trick? Too bad. It only works on mortals, and I...am a spirit warrior.

Po: [being chased by jade zombie Shifu] Oh, no! Master Shifu! I can't hit Shifu!

Mr. Ping: I can!

Li Shan: And so can I!

Both: Double-Dad Defense!

Mei Mei: [takes out a pack of nunchucks and fights the Jade zombie Master Badger Twins] Get ready to dance...with danger!

Li Shan: I wish I could have taught you this, son.

Po: It's okay, Dad. I'm...

Tigress: He's here.

Po: [amazed] That's what I call a dramatic entrance!

Kai: You must be the Dragon Warrior.

Po: And you must be Kai - Beast of Vengeance, Maker of Widows.

Kai: Yes! Finally! Thank you! Almost makes me want to spare your life.

Po: Oh, you want to spare me? How about you spare me the chit-chat, alright? Let's do this.

Kai: I'm going to take your chi, then the chi of every panda in the-

Po: Augh! Chit-chat.

Kai: In the-

Po: Chitty-chitty-chat-chat, chat-chat-chat!

Kai: In the-

Po: Chit-chat!

Tigress: This isn't going to work.

Po: It has to.

Tigress: You're not thinking straight.

Po: I am!

Tigress: [kicks his feet] You're not.

Po: I am.

Tigress: No.

Po: Yes, I am.

Tigress: No, I've seen Kai. I see what he can do.

Po: [does the Wuxi Finger Hold again, just like in the first film] But he hasn't seen what I can do.

Tigress: [confused] The Wuxi Finger Hold?

Po: It's my best move. I just have to get to Kai, grab his finger, and then, skadoosh, back to the spirit realm.

Tigress: [squeezes his hand; pushes him down] He has an army of jade warriors. Everything they see, he sees. So, there's no sneaking up on him. You'll never get close enough.

Po: [gets up] It's gonna work.

Tigress: [puts him down again and puts her feet on him] He can only be stopped by a master of chi.

Po: [gets up again; offended] Oh, you sound just like Shifu with the, "Chi, chi, chi." "Chi this. Chi that." "Chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi!" I'm not a master of chi, okay? I don't know if I'm the Dragon Warrior. I don't even know if I'm a panda! I don't know who I am! You're right. There's no way I can stop him and his army.

Li Shan: Unless you had an army of your own.

Po: You?

Li Shan: Not just me.

Mr. Ping: [appearing behind him] Us.

Li Shan: [all the other pandas appear] All of us. I finally found my son, after all these years. It's going to take a lot more than the end of the world to keep us apart.

Po: But you don't even know kung fu.

Li Shan: Then you will teach us.

Po: What? I can't teach you kung fu. I couldn't even teach Tigress. And she already knows kung fu!

Li Shan: Po, I know I'm the last guy you wanna trust right now. But you gotta believe me. We can do this. We can learn kung fu. We can be just like you!

Po: [walks up to his fatherYou need to teach me the secret chi technique now!

Li: [to the pandas] No, no. I'm afraid you need more time. Everyone, go get your things!

Po: I don't have more time! I need to learn it now!

Li: [to the pandas] Sorry, you're not ready. Pack everything!

Po: I am ready!

Li: Not quite.

Po: [follows him on the bridge] What are you talking about? I've done everything you've asked. I've mastered napping, sleeping in, hammocks, hot tubs. I am totally at one with my panda parts! Now why won't you show me?!

Li: [giving in] Because I don't know it!

Po: [shocked] You...what?

Li: I don't know, okay, it's because nobody does that, maybe we used to, but...but not anymore.

Po: You lied?

Li: No, I...Yes.

Po: Why?

Li: To save your life! I point out that some blade-swinging maniacs are coming for you. What am I supposed to do? Just-Just let that happen?!

Po: Yes! I'm the Dragon Warrior, facing maniacs! That's my job, but because of you, I left the valley unprotected. I left my friends unprotected, and now they're all...they're all...

Li: [tries to take Po to his hut] And you would have been, too! I lost you once, I am not going to lose you again. I can't.

Po: [pulls his hand away from him; storms off] You just did.

Mei Mei: Who's she?

Lei Lei: [gasps and runs to Tigress and hugs her] Big stripy baby!

Po: What are you doing here?

Tigress: Kai attacked the Valley. He's taken every master in China, including Shifu and the others. It's all gone, Po. Everything. Everyone.

Po: Everyone?

Tigress: Everyone.

Mr. Ping: [concerned; some pandas look at him, confused] How's my restaurant? We'll talk later.

Tigress: [to Po] And now he's on his way here. He's after you, Po. He's after all pandas.

Shifu: Oogway... forgive me...

Shifu: I will not let you destroy Oogway's memory!

Kai: Why not? He destroyed mine.

Monkey: [grabbing jade Mantis; jade Mantis punches him] Mantis! It is me, your bestie! Sorry Tigress! I’m sorry! Sorry!

Monkey: [hands Shifu the arrow] It's from the Eastern Province!

Shifu: [snaps the arrow in half] Master Lizard, Master Ox, Master Eagle...all of them. In every village from the sea to here, every master in China has vanished.

Monkey: Maybe they are all at a party?

Viper: Monkey!

Monkey: I didn't get invited either.

Shifu: [to Tigress] Kai has taken their chi. We are all that stand between him and the knowledge Oogway left in our care. The villagers, evacuated?

Tigress: Done, Master.

Shifu: Crane, Mantis?

Tigress: Still nothing.

Viper: [gasps] Wait, it's them!

Shifu: [horrified; the jade Crane and Mantis land in front of Shifu and the others - as Kai emerges in the mist, whirling his blades; fiercely] No! Kai!

Kai: [looks at the giant statue of Master Oogway] Nice. Very tacky.

Shifu: How dare you set foot on these grounds?!

Kai: [sneering] Look at you pathetic fools, groveling at the feet of Oogway the Magnificent.

Tigress: [fiercely] You are not fit to speak his name!

Kai: [Tigress growls enviously for being called that; calmly; shouting] I am not fit, little kitten? I fought by his side. I loved him like a brother...and he betrayed me. Well, now I will destroy... EVERYTHING HE HAS CREATED!

Shifu: Go!

Tigress: How's that for a little kitten?

Mantis: You gotta get in there.

Crane: But Master Shifu said-

Mantis: You're seriously afraid? Even Master Chicken is going in there, and he's a chicken!

Shifu: [searching; finds a jade scroll; unveils the scroll; reading] Where is it? There's so much wisdom in here, I can't find anything. Yes. Behold. All the answers will be found within. What? It's blank? Are you kidding me?! Not again! Wait, wait. Hold on. Sorry. Oh, ok, here we go. It's written in Oogway's hand. "Long ago, I had a brother...

Monkey: Oogway had a brother?

Shifu: In arms. In arms. Sorry. He says, Brother-in-arms.

Mantis: Can you just unroll it all at once?

Shifu & Oogway: [in unison] I was an ambitious young warrior...

Oogway: [narrating] ...leading a great army. And fighting by my side was Kai, my closest friend. One day, we were ambushed. I was badly wounded. My friend carried me for days, looking for help, until we came to a secret village, high in the mountains. An ancient place of healing. A village of pandas.

Po: Pandas?!

Oogway: [narrating] Yes, pandas. Pandas who used the power of chi to heal me. They taught me how to give chi. But Kai wanted the power all to himself. He saw that what could be given could also be taken. I had to stop him. Our battle shook the Earth. Until, finally, I banished Kai to the Spirit Realm. Should he ever return to the mortal realm, he can only be stopped...

Shifu: ...by a true master of chi.

Po: True master of chi? Like you!

Shifu: Me? I can barely make a flower bloom. I need at least 30 more years, and a cave.

Mr. Ping: Message from the universe. I'll give you a message from the universe. Stay away from my son!

Po: [The jade Badger Twins bash him with their technique; gasps] I recognize these guys! The Master Badger Twins, with their Crushing Double-Gong technique! Ow! Yeah, that's the one! And that guys is… No! Master Porcupine!

Monkey: [deflects a firing quill back at him] I thought he died a hundred years ago.

Po: These guys are legend!

Kai: What is this place?

Rabbit: [uneasily] Uh, my brother's farm?

Kai: Ah. If I stepped on you, would you die?

Rabbit: Yes?

Kai: [to the jade pendant of Oogway around his neck] The Mortal Realm. You hear that, Oogway? I'm back! KAI HAS RETURNED!!!

Rabbit and Goose: [confused] Who?

Kai: Kai. General Kai, supreme Warlord of all China!

Goose: I don't know.

Kai: [still no reaction] The Jade Slayer, Master of Pain, You may know me as "the Beast of Vengeance". Uh...Maker of Widows?

Goose: Huh?

Kai: [exasperated] Okay, I used to work with Oogway-

Rabbit and Goose: Oh, Master Oogway!

Goose: He was a great warrior!

Rabbit: We've heard of Master Oogway, he's a-

Kai: [cutting them off] Okay, okay. Enough! SILENCE!!!

Po: Who are you?

Li Shan: [muffling] I'm Li Shan.

Po: What?

Li: [swallows] I'm Li Shan, and I'm looking for my son.

Po: You lost your son?

Li: Yes. Many years ago.

Po: I lost my father.

Li: I'm very sorry.

Po: [pause] Thank you.

Li: Well, good luck to you.

Po: You too. I hope you find your son.

Li: [they both walk off, everyone face palms, but they stopped with realization] And I hope you find your father. Son? Oh, my gosh, it is you! Well, don't just stand there. Give your old man a hug!

Po: [hugs his real dad] I can't believe you're alive!

Shifu: I'm not trying to turn you into me. I'm trying to turn you into you.

Viper: [weakly] Good job, Po.

Po: [meekly] Did you at least learn a little something?

Tigress: [annoyed; puts out a fire in her ear] Yes. That you can't teach.

Crane: And Tigress is flammable, turns out.

Mantis: [after Crane lands on him and crushes him] Ah, my claw-thingy!

Po: What's the occasion?

Shifu: Today, will be my final class.

Po: Your final? I didn't know you were sick. Although, you have been looking a little--

Shifu: [pushes him away with his staff; sighs] I'm not sick.

Po: Healthy. A little healthy. A lot actually.

Shifu: [facepalms; points his staff at Po] My final class because from now on, your training will be in the hands of the Dragon Warrior.

Po: [nods and smiles for a second, then reacts in realization of shock; voice booming; almost knocks Shifu back with his strong lungs] WHAT?! Me, teach? I mean, why not Tigress? She's always telling everyone what to do.

Tigress: Be quiet, Po.

Po: See what I mean?

Shifu: Tigress is not the Dragon Warrior. You are.

Po: Come on, they're the Five! What can I teach them?

Po: [jumps into the air, leaping downstairs as the movie's title card appears, the Furious Five follow him and land in Mr. Ping's Noodle Shop with dramatic poses] Justice is about to be served! We'll have two justice platters, please.

Monkey: Three.

Crane: And a few tofu buns.

Po: [to Tigress] Oh, and the spicy noodle soup for Tigress. Did you want extra sauce with that?

Monkey: She wants it on the side.

Tigress: On the side.

Po: On the side.

Oogway: [a peach blossom petal lands on his nose; gently blows it away, but as he breathes in, it flies back into his nostril, and he sneezes, causing it to fly off; out of nowhere, a green blade on a chain zooms toward him; catches the blade in front of his chest. Another blade on a chain tumbles from the sky. He bats the first one, causing them to collide] Inner peace. Inner peace. Inner peace. Itchy nose. Finally, inner peace. Now, what? Kai, old friend.

Kai: Master Oogway.

Oogway: Our battle ended 500 years ago!

Kai: Well, now I'm ready for a rematch.

Oogway: [laughs. Kai angrily charges at him, cutting through the floating rocks between them, but he manages to dodge. Just as Kai lands on the island, he leaps up; draws a golden Chinese character with his yin-yang tipped staff and pushes it to Kai. It breaks on top of him] Took you long enough! You've grown stronger.

Kai: [indicates his collection of green discs] 500 years in the Spirit Realm, you pick up a thing or two. I have taken the chi of every Master here!

Oogway: [gasps] No!

Kai: Yes! And soon, I will have your power, too!

Oogway: [Kai chucks his blades into two boulders, then pulls himself up as Oogway spins his staff, creating a yin-yang forcefield. Kai smashes the boulders together on top of Oogway, and the forcefield dissipates. Oogway gapes as the chains wrap around his body, and Kai pulls him down] When will you realize? The more you take, the less you have.

Kai: [his hands glow green] With your chi, I will finally be able to return to the mortal world. And this time, you won't be there to stop me.

Oogway: [warmly; gets engulfed in green, then shrinks into a disc, which Kai catches] Ahh...it was never my destiny to stop you. I have set another on that path.

Kai: Then I will find him, and take his chi, too.