Acupuncture Misunderstandings Among Kung Fu Friends
Po:
Aaaoo...whoohoo...EEEee...hee- hee... OW! I thought you said acupuncture would make me feel better?!
Mantis:
Trust me, it will. It's just not easy finding the right nerve points under all this…
Po:
Meat?
Mantis:
Fur. I was going to say fur.
Po:
more or less.
Mantis: [jabs an acupuncture needle in Po]
Who am I to judge a warrior based on his size? I mean... look at me. I'm over here.
Po:
Ah-HAH!
Viper: [Po he screams in pain]
Maybe you should take a look at this again
Mantis:
Oh, okay.
Po:
Ow! Stop! Please!
Po: [chuckles awkwardly]
I know Master Shifu's trying to inspire me and all, but if I didn't know any better, I'd say he was trying to get rid of me.
Mantis: [unpause; jabs another acupuncture needle in Po]
I know he can seem kind of heartless... but he wasn't always like that.
Viper:
According to legend, there was once a time when Master Shifu actually used to smile.
Po:
No.
Mantis:
Yes.
Viper:
But that was before.
Po:
Before what?
Tigress: [enters]
Before Tai Lung.
Crane: [from his room]
Uh, yeah, we're not really supposed to talk about him.
Tigress:
Well, if he's going to stay here, he should know.
Po: [nervously as Tigress stares piercingly at him]
Guys, guys, I know about Tai Lung. He was a student. The first ever to master the thousand scrolls of kung fu. And then he turned bad, and now he's in jail.
Tigress: [flashback begins to a younger Shifu stepping out of the training hall courtyard and finds baby Tai Lung, wrapped in cloth; voiceover; Tai Lung rampages; Tai Lung crashes through the doors into the Hall of Warriors; Shifu leaps at Tai Lung to give him a kick, but remembers him as a baby at the last second; Tai Lung strikes Shifu and he crashes to the ground with a broken leg, then leaps for the Dragon Scroll, but Oogway intercepts and strikes his pressure points, making him fall to the ground in a heap; Shifu stares in sadness and disbelief, then crawls over to Tai Lung, but is unable to touch him; cut to the younger Tigress training kung fu, only for Shifu to lift her head with his stick and walks off, causing her to frown; back to the present; everyone is quietest]
He wasn't just a student. Shifu found him as a cub...and he raised him as his son. And when the boy showed talent in kung fu...Shifu trained him. He believed in him. He told him he was destined for greatness. It was never enough for Tai Lung. He wanted the Dragon Scroll, but Oogway saw darkness in his heart and refused. Outraged, Tai Lung laid waste to the valley. He tried to take the scroll by force. And Shifu had to destroy what he had created. But how could he? Shifu loved Tai Lung like he had never loved anyone before. Or since. And now, he has a chance to make things right, to train the true Dragon Warrior. And he's stuck with you. A big, fat panda who treats it like a joke.
Po: [suddenly makes a weird sound and a face and freezes]
DOIEEEEEE--!
Tigress: [enraged; raises her paw, intending to strike Po]
OH, THAT IS IT!!
Mantis: [Stops Tigress; Po falls over and reveals hundreds of acupuncture needles in his back and one on his neck; taps Po twice with no response. Cut into the training hall. At the temple]
WAIT! My fault! I accidentally tweaked his facial nerve! And I think I also stopped his heart.
Shifu: [trying to meditate; the flapping sound disturbs him; the flapping sound continues; the flapping stops; Zeng suddenly crashes down with a honk; turns around; looking relieved]
Inner peace. Inner peace. Inner - Inner - Inner peace. Would who ever is makin that flappin sound quiet down?! Inner pe- Ah, Zeng. Excellent. I hear you have good news.
Zeng: [becomes nervous with a pauses, then speaks up; Cuts to the peach tree]
Uh...
Shifu: [running up to the peach tree to meet with Oogway]
Master! Master!
Oogway:
Hmm?
Shifu: [panting]
I have...it's very bad news.
Oogway:
Aah, Shifu. There is just news. There is no good or bad.
Shifu:
Master, your vision! Your vision was right! Tai Lung has broken out of prison, and he's on his way!
Oogway: [looks shocked]
That is bad news. If you do not believe that the Dragon Warrior can stop him.
Shifu:
The panda? Master, that panda is not the Dragon Warrior. He wasn't even meant to be here! It was an accident!
Oogway:
There are no accidents.
Shifu: [sighs]
Yes, I know. You've said that already...Twice.
Oogway:
Well, that was no accident either.
Shifu:
Thrice.
Oogway:
My friend, the panda will never fulfill his destiny, nor you yours, until you let go of the illusion of control.
Shifu:
Illusion?
Oogway: [gestures to the Peach Tree of Heavenly Wisdom]
Yes. Look at this tree, Shifu. I cannot make it blossom when it suits me, nor make it bear fruit before it's time.
Shifu: [kicks the tree causing several peaches to fall; one hits him on the head and he grumbles; tosses the peach in the air and chops it in half; punches a hole in the ground and catches the seed; throws the seed into the hole]
But there are things we can control. I can control when the fruit will fall. And I can control... Where to plant the seed. That is no illusion, Master.
Oogway:
Ah, yes, but no matter what you do, that seed will grow to be a peach tree. You may wish for an apple or an orange, but you will get a peach.
Shifu:
But a peach can't defeat Tai Lung!
Oogway: [covers the seed in dirt]
Maybe it can... ...If you are willing to guide it, to nurture it. To believe in it.
Shifu:
But how? How? I need your help, master.
Oogway:
No, you just need to believe. Promise me, Shifu. Promise me you will believe.
Shifu:
I...I will try.
Oogway: [sees petals floating around him; hands Shifu his staff]
Good. My time has come. You must continue your journey without me.
Shifu: [Oogway backs into the swirling petals]
What?...What are you...? Master, you can't leave me!
Oogway: [last words as he starts to vanish]
You must believe.
Shifu: [Oogway disappears, and Shifu stares sadly after him, cut in to the Po's cooking tonight]
Master!
Po: [making dinner for The Furious Five]
So, I'm like "Fine. You may be a wolf. You may be the scariest bandit in the Hajin Province, but you're a lousy tipper!
Crane:
Really, so how'd you get out of there alive?
Po: [passes out bowls of soup to four of the Five; watches patiently]
I mean, I didn't actually say that, but I thought it...in...in my mind. If he could read my mind, he would've been like "What?". Order up! Hope you like it.
Mantis:
This is really good!
Po: [sitting down]
Nah, c'mon, you should try my dad's secret ingredient soup. He actually knows the secret ingredient.
Viper:
What are you talking about? This is amazing!
Crane:
Wow, you're a really good cook!
Mantis:
I wish my mouth was bigger!
Monkey:
Tigress, you've got to try this.
Tigress: [picking up a cube of tofu with her chopsticks, the only one of the five without noodles]
Hmmm. It is said that the Dragon Warrior can survive for months at a time on nothing, but the dew of a single Ginko leaf and the energy of the universe.
Po: [chuckles; slurps his noodles, with one hanging over his nose like mustache; Mantis snickers]
I guess my body doesn't know it's the Dragon Warrior yet. I'm gonna need a lot more than dew, and...uh, universe juice. What?
Mantis:
Oh, nothing..."Master Shifu".
Po: [gets an idea, and starts impersonating Master Shifu; the Five, except Tigress, laughs; brings two bowls up to his head to mimic ears; the Five laugh, then immediately stop, with shocked expressions, to see the real Shifu, with Oogway's staff, standing in the doorway]
You will never be the Dragon Warrior, unless you lose 500 pounds and brush your teeth!" "What is that noise you're making, laughter? I have never heard of it! Work hard, Panda, and maybe someday, you will have ears like mine." Ears. It's not working for ya? I thought they're pretty good.
Monkey: [whispering]
It's Shifu!
Po: [the Five stare at Po shockingly; Monkey points at the door. Po looks and sees Shifu; slurps the noodle and presses the bowls to his chest like he has pecs]
Of course it's Shifu. Who do you think I'm doing? Oh, Master Shifu! Uh...
Shifu: [annoyed]
You think this is funny?! Tai Lung has escaped from prison, and you're acting like children!
Po:
What?
Shifu: [to Po]
He is coming for the Dragon Scroll! And you are the only one who can stop him!
Po: [as the bowls fall to the floor, then laughs; Shifu looks at him deadly serious; realizing]
And here I am saying you got no sense of humor! I'm gonna...stop Tai Lung. What, you're serious, and I have to...? Uh, Master Oogway will stop him. He did it before, he'll do it again.
Shifu: [his face softens and he stares sadly at his master's staff; the Five gasp in shock, realizing Oogway is gone]
Oogway cannot! Not anymore. Our only hope is the Dragon Warrior.
Tigress:
The panda?
Shifu:
Yes, the panda!
Tigress: [pushes her chair out]
Master, please! Let us stop Tai Lung. This is what you've trained us for!
Shifu: [points at Po, but finds him gone; Po is seen running away, screaming in panic, realizing he has to fight Tai Lung; stops him from leaving when he reaches the stairs]
No! It is not your destiny to defeat Tai Lung, it is his! Where'd he go?! You cannot leave! A real warrior never quits!
Po: [tries to run past Shifu, but was pushed away]
Watch me! Come on! How am I supposed to defeat Tai Lung? I can't even beat you to the stairs.
Shifu: [pokes Po in the stomach]
You will beat him because you are the Dragon Warrior!
Po: [Shifu swings his arm around; tries to run past Shifu, but gets pushed away again]
Ow! You don't believe that! You never believed that! From the first moment I got here, you've been trying to get rid of me!
Shifu:
Yes, I was! But now I ask you to trust in your master as I have come to trust in mine.
Po: [shoves the staff away from his face]
You're not my master. And I'm not the Dragon Warrior.
Shifu:
Then why didn't you quit?! You knew I was trying to get rid of you, yet you stayed.
Po: [stands up; Pauses. Shifu is in a stunned silence]
Yeah, I stayed. I stayed because every time you threw a brick at my head or said I smelled. It hurt, but it could never hurt more than it did every day of my life just being me. I stayed because I thought if anyone could change me... could make me... not me, it was you, the greatest kung fu teacher in all of China!
Shifu:
But I can change you! I can turn you into the Dragon Warrior, and I will!
Po: [Shifu is speechless]
Oh, come on! Tai Lung is on his way here right now, and even if it takes him 100 years to get here, how are you gonna change this into the Dragon Warrior?! Huh? How?! How?! HOW?!
Shifu: [snaps and yells in frustration; calms down a bit, then he sighs deeply, realizing what he means]
I don't know! I don't know.
Po: [sadness]
That's what I thought.
Tigress: [to herself while looking back; runs off to stop Tai Lung]
This is what you trained me for.
Viper:
Tigress!
Tigress:
Don't try and stop me!
Viper:
We're not trying to stop you!
Tigress: [confused]
What?
Viper:
We're coming with you!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Training Continues Amid Uncertainty of the Dragon Warrior
Viper:
What do we do now, Master, with the panda gone? Who will be the Dragon Warrior?
Shifu: [opens the training courtyard doors, only to find himself face-to-face with Po, spreading out his legs wide apart on two training horses]
All we can do is resume our training and trust that in time, the true Dragon Warrior will be revealed. What are you doing here?!
Po: [sees Shifu and the Five staring at him]
Hi! Good morning, Master! I just thought I'd warm up a little.
Shifu:
You're stuck.
Po:
Stuck? Nah. What? Stuck? Nah. This is one of my...Yeah, I'm stuck.
Shifu: [to Crane]
Help him.
Crane: [walks to Po; flaps his wings, while pulling him up and Po flops onto his back.]
Oh, dear. Maybe on three. One, two--
Po: [gets up]
Thank you.
Crane:
Don't mention it.
Po:
No really, I appreci—
Crane:
Ever.
Shifu: [flings two boards into the air; snaps his fingers, Tigress leaps up]
You actually thought you could learn to do a full split in one night? It takes years to develop one's flexibility, and years longer to apply it in combat.
Shifu:
Put that down! The only souvenirs we collect here are bloody knuckles and broken bones.
Po: [chucks the broken chunk]
Yeah, excellent!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Morning Awakening in the Training Hall
Furious Five: [wake up to meet Shifu]
Good morning, Master!
Shifu: [notices that Po is not coming out; opens the doors, realizes that he's not in his room, nor that he first enters his own room; chuckles]
Panda?! Panda! Wake up! He's quit.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Chaos Erupts at Chorh-Gom Prison
Vachir:
OH, NO!
Zeng: [looks down at the scene below, and gasps in horror upon seeing Tai Lung trying to break himself free from his restraints]
What's happening?!
Chorh-Gom Prison Guards:
To your battle stations! Go! Go! Go!
Vachir:
Fire, crossbows!
Crossbow Guard 1: [fires an arrow at Tai-Lung]
Fire!
Crossbow Guard 2: [fires at Tai Lung, only for the snow leopard to not only dodge it, but also makes it break off the restraint on his right hand]
Fire!
Zeng: [goes to warn Shifu]
Tai Lung is free! I must warn Shifu!
Vachir: [grabs Zeng by the neck]
You're not going anywhere, neither is he!
Zeng:
Let go of me!
Vachir: [to the guards]
Bring it up!
Guard:
Wait! Bring it back!
Zeng: [scared]
He's coming this way!
Vachir:
He won't get far. Archers!
Zeng:
We're dead. So very, very dead.
Vachir: [laughs; to another guard]
Not yet, we're not. Now!
Zeng: [terrified]
Can we run now?
Vachir: [terrified]
Yes.
Tai Lung: [sighs and rubs Zeng's forehead; Zeng nods and Tai Lung releases him. Zeng then flies back to the Jade Palace]
I'm glad Shifu sent you. I was beginning to think I'd been forgotten. Fly back there and tell them the real Dragon Warrior is coming home.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Misunderstandings at the Sacred Peach Tree
Oogway: [walks up to him]
I see you have found the Sacred Peach Tree of Heavenly Wisdom.
Po: [turns around, holding a bunch of peaches in his arms and mouth]
Oh, is that what this is? I am so sorry! I thought it was just a regular peach tree.
Oogway:
I understand. You eat when you are upset.
Po: [spits out the peaches]
Upset? I'm not upset. Why - What makes you think I'm upset?
Oogway:
So, why are you upset?
Po: [sighs]
I probably sucked more today than anyone in the history of kung fu, in the history of China, in the history of sucking.
Oogway:
Probably.
Po:
And the Five! Man, you should have seen them! They totally hate me.
Oogway:
Totally.
Po: [sighs]
How is Shifu ever going to turn me into the Dragon Warrior? I mean, I'm not like the Five. I've got no claws, no wings, no venom. Even Mantis has those...thingies. Maybe I should just quit and go back to making noodles.
Oogway: [pauses; taps the peach tree with his staff, making a peach fall into Po's hand, and leaves]
Quit, don't quit. Noodles, no noodles. You are too concerned with what was and what will be. There's a saying: "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That's why it is called the present.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Disappointing Day and Need for Rest
Po:
Oh, hey. Hi, you're, uh...you're up.
Crane:
Am now.
Po:
I was just...Some day, huh? That Kung Fu stuff is hard work, right? Your biceps sore?
Crane: [looks at his arms awkwardly]
Uh...I've had a long and rather disappointing day. So, yeah. I should probably get to sleep now.
Po:
Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course.
Crane:
OK, thanks.
Po: [tries Kung Fu, only to accidentally kick a hole in the wall, leading to Monkey's room; Po peaks into the hole to see Monkey, who is now glaring at him]
It's just-Man, I'm such a big fan! You guys were totally amazing at the Battle of the Weeping River. Outnumbered 1001, but you didn't stop. And you just- Oh, sorry about that.
Crane:
Uh, look, you don't belong here.
Po: [sighs in disappointment]
I know. I know. You're right. I don't have-I just-my whole life, I've dreamed of-
Crane: [softly taps his bed with his foot]
No, no, no. I meant you don't belong here. I mean, in this room. This is my room. Property of Crane.
Po: [leaves, but remains outside the door]
Okay. Right, right. So, yeah, you wanna get to sleep and I'm keeping you up. We get big things tomorrow. All right. You are awesome. Last thing I wanna say. Bye-bye.
Crane: [sighs in annoyance]
.
Po: [peeks his head in]
What was that?
Crane:
I didn't say anything.
Po: [closes the door and Crane puts his foot on his head; tries to get to his room despite the creaking noise; Tigress opens her doors annoyed]
Okay. All right. Good night. Sleep well. Seemed a bit awkward. Master Tigress. Didn't mean to wake you. Just, uh-
Tigress:
You don't belong here.
Po:
Uh, yeah, yeah, of course. This is your room.
Tigress: [slams her doors closed]
I mean, you don't belong in the Jade Palace. You're a disgrace to Kung Fu, and if you have any respect for who we are and what we do, you will be gone by morning.
Po: [weakly]
Big fan.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Debate on the Dragon Warrior's Fate
Mantis:
There's no words.
Crane:
No denying that.
Viper:
I don't understand what Master Oogway was thinking. The poor guy's just gonna get himself killed.
Crane: [mocking Po's lack of skills; sarcastically]
He is so mighty! The Dragon Warrior - fell out of the sky in a ball of fire!
Mantis:
When he walks, the very ground shakes.
Tigress:
One would think that Master Oogway would choose someone who actually knew kung fu.
Crane:
Yeah, or could be at least touch his toes.
Monkey:
Or even see his toes.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Finding the Right Level in Training
Po:
Uh, yeah. It's just...maybe we can find something more suited to my level...
Shifu:
And what level is that?
Po:
Well, you know, I'm not a master, but, uh, Let's just start at 0. Level 0.
Shifu:
Oh, no. There is no such thing as Level 0.
Po: [spotted the training dummy]
Hey! Maybe I can start on that!
Shifu:
That? We use that for training children, and for propping the door open when it's hot. But, if you insist...
Po: [sees and meets the Furious Five up close for the first time, watching him with curious expressions]
Whoa! The Furious Five! You're so much bigger than your action figures. Except for you, Mantis. You're about the same.
Shifu:
Go ahead, Panda. Show us what you can do.
Po: [hesitates; uneasily]
Uh, are they gonna watch, or should I just wait until they get back to work or somethin'?
Shifu:
Hit it.
Po: [stalling]
Yeah, well, I just ate, so I'm still digesting, so my Kung Fu may not be as good as... later on.
Shifu:
Just hit it.
Po: [looks over at the training dummy; quickly shuffles his feet; starts chattering like a monkey. Monkey raises an eyebrow]
Uh, OK. What'cha got? You got nothing, cause I got it right here. You pickin on my friends? Get ready to feel the thunder, I'm comin at you with the crazy feet. What'cha gonna do about crazy feet? Come on. I'm a blur, I'm a blur. You've never seen bear style, you've only seen praying mantis. Or monkey-style. Or snickety-snake-alike?
Shifu: [angrily]
Would you hit it?!
Po: [stops, annoyed; gives the dummy a little tap with his fist, making it lean back]
Alright.
Shifu:
Why don't you try again? A little harder.
Po: [punches the dummy, sending it hurtling backwards; the dummy swings back, knocking his tooth out and sending him flying into the training hall's obstacle course. The Furious 5 starts forward, but Shifu holds up his hand to stop them. Po accidentally does a split on the moving ropes; a spiked pendulum swings towards him and hits him square in the face, knocking him into Crane's tilting bowl, hitting his head several times]
Ha! How's that? Oh, that hurts!
Shifu: [very amused]
This'll be easier than I thought.
Po: [spills out of the tilting bowl, and wanders to the moving arm guard section; pushes one arm, starting a chain reaction that causes him to get hit repeatedly in the face, belly, legs, arms...; ...then his crotch; drops to knees, rises and covers his crotch; in pain, he rests one hand on a moving arm, starting the whole chain reaction over again, and smacking him into the fire floor area; cut back to Shifu and the Furious 5 who wince and look away as we hear fire burning and Po screaming. He slumps over next to Shifu, burnt, charred, and weakly]
Feeling a little nauseous. Ow! Oh, those are hard! Ooh-hoo-hoo! OOH! My tenders! Uh-oh. How did I do?
Shifu: [chuckles; snuffs out a flame on top of Po's head]
There is now...a Level 0.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Wuxi Finger Hold Explained
Po: [as Shifu pinches his finger and lifts up his pinky]
The Wuxi Finger Hold! Not the Wuxi Finger Hold!
Shifu:
Oh, you know this hold?
Po:
Developed by Master Wuxi in the Third Dynasty. Yes!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
No Accidents in Destiny's Path
Shifu:
Master Oogway, wait! That flabby panda can't possibly be the answer to our problem. You were about to point at Tigress and that thing fell in front of her! That was just an accident!
Oogway: [walks off]
There are no accidents.
Tigress:
Forgive us, Master. We've failed you.
Shifu: [holds up his hand]
No. If the panda has not quit by morning, then I will have failed you.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Search for the Dragon Warrior
Po: [dazed from falling; sees Oogway pointing his finger at him]
Oh. What's going on? Where? What are you pointing...? Oh! Okay. Sorry, I just wanted to see who the Dragon Warrior was.
Oogway:
How interesting.
Tigress:
Master, are you pointing at me?
Oogway:
Him.
Po: [moves around as Oogway's finger follows him, still pointing at him]
Who?
Oogway:
You.
Po:
Me?
Oogway: [lifts Po's arm up with his staff]
The universe has brought us the Dragon Warrior!
Po: [confused]
What?
Furious Five: [flabbergasted]
What?!
Shifu: [shocked]
What?!
Mr. Ping: [enters]
WHAT?!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Search for the Dragon Warrior
Shifu:
But who? Who is worthy to be trusted with the secret to limitless power? To become...the Dragon Warrior?
Oogway: [shrugs]
I don't know.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Vision of Tai Lung's Return
Oogway: [to Shifu]
I have had a vision: Tai Lung will return.
Shifu: [imagines Tai Lung, in 2-D, breaking free]
That is impossible! He is in prison!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Master Shifu's Training Feedback and Oogway's Request
Shifu: [to the Furious Five; points his flute at the Five, all bowing respectfully as he mentions their name]
Well done, students...if you were trying to disappoint me. Tigress, you need more ferocity! Monkey, greater speed! Crane, height! Viper, subtlety! Mantis...!
Zeng:
Master Shifu.
Shifu: [points his flute at Zeng]
What?!
Zeng:
It's Master Oogway. He wants to see you.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Question of Po's Actions
Mr. Ping:
Po, what are you doing up there?
Po:
Uh, nothing.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Legendary Warrior and Hilarious Combat Encounter
Po: [narrating; gets confronted by a group of criminals]
Legend tells of a legendary warrior whose kung-fu skills were the stuff of legend. He traveled the land in search of worthy foes.
Bull criminal: [slams his fist on the table]
I see you like to chew. Maybe you should chew...ON MY FIST!
Po: [narrating; does so; spoken; kicks the criminals away; narrating]
The warrior said nothing for his mouth was full. Then he swallowed... ...and then he spoke. Enough talk, let's fight! SHA-BAA-BOOOEEEE! He was so deadly, in fact, his enemies would go blind from over exposure to pure awesomeness!
Leopard Criminal:
MY EYES!
Crocodile Criminal:
HE'S TOO AWESOME!
Female Bunny:
And attractive.
Male Bunny:
How can we repay you?
Po: [the female bunny giggles; the roof explodes and the warrior with a cloud of ninjas erupts into the sky. Like a tornado, the warrior twists and kicks them away rapidly; narrating; spoken; narrating]
There's no charge for awesomeness. Or attractiveness. KABLOOEYY! It mattered not how many foes he faced. They were no match for his bodacity. KIAI! NEVER BEFORE had a panda been so feared, and so loved. Even the most heroic heroes in all of China, THE FURIOUS FIVE. Bowed in respect to this great master.
Monkey:
We should hang out.
Po: [narrating]
Agreed. But hanging out would have to wait. Because when you're facing the 10,000 demons of Demon Mountain, there's only one thing that matters, and that's...
Mr. Ping: [as Monkey; as Tigress]
Po! Get up! You'll be late for work!
Po: [falls out of his dream, lands on the floor in his room and wakes up in 3D-style animation]
Huh?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Size Doesn't Define a Warrior's Worth
Commander Vachir: [to Tai Lung]
Hey, tough guy, did you hear? Oogway's finally going to give someone the Dragon Scroll and it's not gonna be you.
Mantis: [while putting Po under acupuncture]
Who am I to judge a warrior based on his size? I mean, look at me. I'm over here.
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Tai Lung's Challenge to Po
Tai Lung:
So that is his name. Po. Finally, a worthy opponent. Our battle will be legendary!
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Tai Lung's Reaction to the Scroll's Power
Tai Lung: [sees Po climbing to the Dragon Scroll]
The scroll has given him power! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
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Knowledge has limits, even in mastery.
Tai Lung: [strikes Monkey with his nerve strike, paralyzing him]
Shifu taught you well. But he didn't teach you everything.
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Shifu Asserts His Vitality and Determination
Shifu:
I'm not dying, you idiot!
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Shifu Requests Silence During Training Session
Shifu:
Would whoever is making that flapping sound, quiet down?!
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Fate of the Dragon Warrior Contested
Shifu: [facing Tai Lung]
You were not meant to be the Dragon Warrior! That was not my fault!
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Introduction of the Furious Five
Shifu:
Citizens of the Valley of Peace, it's my great honor to present you, Tigress, Viper, Crane, Monkey and Mantis! The Furious Five!
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Shifu orders increased security for Tai Lung
Shifu:
Zeng! Fly to Chorh-Gom Prison and tell them to double the guards, double their weapons, double everything! Tai Lung does not leave that prison!
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Po's Tough Love for the Dragon Warrior
Po the Panda: [impersonating Master Shifu]
You will never be the Dragon Warrior unless you lose 500 pounds and brush your teeth! What is that noise you're making? Laughter? I've never heard of it! Work hard, panda, and maybe some day, you will have ears like mine.
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Expectations of Acupuncture and Its Effects
Po the Panda:
I thought you said acupuncture would make me feel better.
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Po's Observation on the Furious Five
Po the Panda: [meeting the Furious Five for the first time up close in person as they give him curious expressions]
The Furious Five! You're (all) so much bigger than your action figures. Except for you, Mantis. You're bout the same.
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The Danger of the Sword of Heroes
Po the Panda: [looking at the Sword of Heroes while looking around in the Sacred Hall of Warriors]
The Sword of Heroes! Said to be so sharp you can cut yourself just by looking - Ow!
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Dumplings as a solution to challenges
Po the Panda:
Dumpling is the only way to sort out problems.
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Po's Enthusiasm for Kung Fu
Po the Panda:
I LOVE KUNG FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUuuuuuuu....oooooooo.... oof.
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