15 quotes
Anticipation for Return to Connecticut
Carol
Oh, I can't wait to get back to Connecticut.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Christmas Wish with Unexpected Responses
Santa
What would you like for Christmas, little girl?
Angie Vega
I'd like you to find a chimney, and shove your...
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Nature of Show Business
Michael "Mikey" Chapman
But that's what show business is all about. Acting like an idiot. It's not you, you're just doing your job. You know what I mean. Look at it this way, most people feel like idiots most of the time. But they don't get paid for it.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Lighthearted Exchange on a Unique Situation
Ed
Well, now representing ]. Did you check her head with a little 666?
[after Mikey tells him he invited Angie to his house; [The Omen]
Michael
Yeah, there were only two sixes. We got her just fine!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Celebrity Status and Political Jokes
Michael
I'm something of a celebrity.
Irate
What kind of celebrity are you? Biggest Asshole of the Month?
Michael
No, that's all political.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Frustration with Unpleasant Tasks
Barry Corman
How much of this crap do I have to eat anyway? What am I? Jobe?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Coffee Order with a Hint of Sarcasm
Angie
I'll have coffee.
Galaxy Waiter
Coffee?
[laughs]
Angie
Yeah, coffee. It comes from beans. Ever heard of it?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Request for Time Off for Good Behavior
Michael "Mikey" Chapman
Any chance for getting time off for good behavior?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Shared Musical Appreciation Between Friends
Geena
I love that song.
[after Asian girl sings]
Michael
Me too. What were you playing?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Holiday Break and Religious Beliefs Discussed
Ed Chapman
Why isn't she in school?
Angie Vega
I'm off for the holidays.
Ed Chapman
Christmas is two weeks away.
Angie Vega
I'm very religious, you got a problem with that?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Recess Disappointments and Audition Realities
Girl
I hate it when it's raining. We don't get to go outside for recess or ride our bikes after school!
[overacting]
Angie
That's great. But you're not going to audition like that, right?
Girl
What do you mean?
Angie
They're just cookies. Don't make it sound like a commercial for hemorrhoids.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Catchy Greeting from Barry Corman
Barry Corman
Va Va Va Vroom. Well, Hello Dolly!
[after seeing Angie for the first time]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Commitment to Kosher Franks Only
Barry Corman
Never again. From now on, it's only Kosher Franks.
[after vomiting in a hat]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Joyful Moments with Sunburst Cookies
Angie Vega
Sunburst Cookies just light up my day!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Preparing for a Performance Challenge
Barry
You two clowns leave while I get into character.
Michael
What character? All you got to do is swallow.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.