Observations on Unlikely Friendships
Julie Ubriacco:
Look, they like each other.
Daphne:
Mongrel.
Rocks:
Bitch.
James: [to Mollie]
See, honey. They like each other.
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A Dog's Perspective on Meals and Naps
Dogs:
That's your last meal, amigo. Then it's a big nap for you.
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Haircut Complaints and Lighthearted Banter
Daphne:
I hate this haircut, my butt is freezing!
Rocks:
Ha, ha, cute butt.
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The Value of Practical Gifts
Mollie:
You want to open another one of your presents?
Mikey Ubriacco:
It's probably just more stupid clothes.
Mollie:
Well, you know that? If it weren't for them, you'd be freezing your little tushie off right now.
Julie Ubriacco:
Yeah!
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Mollie's Holiday Insult to a Character
Mollie: [on the phone]
Oh, yeah? Well, Merry Christmas, you bimbo!
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Identity and Labels in Conversation
Daphne:
What's your name?
Rocks:
They call me No.
Daphne:
Silly, that's not your name. That's what they say when you're bad. There must be something else, what're they always calling you?
Rocks:
Well, there is that rocks thing.
Daphne:
Rocks, that's it!
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Mollie Expresses Discomfort with Her Shoes
Mollie: [dressed up like an elf]
I need to get these shoes off, my toes are curling.
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Preference for Rocks or a Dog?
Mikey Ubriacco: [after he and James have brought Rocks home and have seen Daphne for the first time]
I like Rocks better...
James: [putting his hand over Mikey's mouth]
A dog! A dog! Finally a dog! We'll play with your Rocks later.
Mikey Ubriacco: [muffled]
Okay, no problem.
Mollie:
As I was just telling Samantha, there's no way we'd take her precious baby away.
James: [citing the "dog school" Daphne attended; walks away]
Radcliffe, honey, Radcliffe!
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Finding a New Dog Companion
Julie Ubriacco: [from the car]
Mommy found another doggie!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Miscommunication About Mr. Conti's Location
Mr. Conti's Secretary: [gets prodded in a ticklish area by a playful workmate, laughs zealously]
Mr. Conti's office? WHAT cabin? I'm sorry, there must be some mistake. Mr. Conti is in the Bahamas with his family-EEEEEEEE.
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Mollie's Vulcan Reference in Look Who's Talking Now!
Mollie:
No, I'm a Vulcan. What a death grip?
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Mollie's Festive Pink Celebration
Mollie: [opening pay envelope; reads paper, faints]
Pink! Mine's pink today... how festive!
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Unexpected Affection Among Unlikely Friends
Julie Ubriacco:
Look! They like each other!
James: [to Mollie]
See, honey, they like each other.
Daphne:
Mongrel.
Rocks:
Bitch.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Struggle Between Authenticity and Professional Expectations
James:
Honey, this isn't me. I wanna be myself.
Mollie:
Okay, you're not gonna get this job if you're yourself.
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Suit Comparison and Dental Plans
James:
Mike, what do you think of this suit?
Mikey Ubriacco:
You look like my principal.
James:
See? Even he thinks it's stupid.
Mollie:
*He* is not offering you a dental plan.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Case for Getting a Dog
Mikey Ubriacco:
We need a dog. Cause like those guys who come to our door to sell stuff, he could chew their legs off.
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Concerns About Unusual Interests in Children
Mollie:
Most little girls are obsessed with ponies and mermaids, not big sweaty men making jump shots. Should we be worried? Mike!
James:
Well, it's the Suns, honey. If it were the Mavericks, I'd be worried.
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A Discussion on Humor Between Friends
Mollie:
James.
James:
What?
Mollie:
Don't tell jokes.
James:
I'm funny!
Mollie:
You *are* funny, honey, in sort of a...
James:
Corny.
Mollie:
Corny, kind of funny.
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A Princess's Tale in Queens
Mollie:
Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess, and she moved to Queens. The end.
Julie Ubriacco:
That's not a story!
Mollie:
It is tonight. Good night.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Sibling Rivalry and Self-Identity
Rocks:
Ma, hey, Ma! Check it out! I got these things on my face to open. I can see! I can see... wrinkly butts. Yuck!
Rocks Mother:
Oh, they're not mine. They're your brothers and sisters'.
Rocks:
Good. That makes me the cute one.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Importance of Dental Hygiene for Kids
Mikey Ubriacco:
I don't wanna brush my teeth. I brushed them last Saturday!
James:
I know, but you're gonna have plants growing out of your mouth.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Playful Banter Between Characters About Dogs
Mikey Ubriacco:
Stop brushing her, Julie. She already looks like a Q-tip.
Julie Ubriacco:
Your dog smells like a diaper.
Mikey Ubriacco:
Does not!
Julie Ubriacco:
Diaper dog! Diaper dog!
Mikey Ubriacco:
Q-tip head dog.
Julie Ubriacco:
Stinky dog!
Mikey Ubriacco:
Bald-butted dog.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Honesty as a Business Liability
Mollie Ubriacco:
When he gets nervous, he gets completely honest. That is a major business liability.
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Awkward Suit Color Commentary
James Ubriacco:
Look, they're gonna know my wife put me in this suit. It's the color of poo.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
