24 quotes
Identity and Labels in Conversation
Daphne
What's your name?
Rocks
They call me No.
Daphne
Silly, that's not your name. That's what they say when you're bad. There must be something else, what're they always calling you?
Rocks
Well, there is that rocks thing.
Daphne
Rocks, that's it!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Preference for Rocks or a Dog?
Mikey Ubriacco
I like Rocks better...
[after he and James have brought Rocks home and have seen Daphne for the first time]
James
A dog! A dog! Finally a dog! We'll play with your Rocks later.
[putting his hand over Mikey's mouth]
Mikey Ubriacco
Okay, no problem.
[muffled]
Mollie
As I was just telling Samantha, there's no way we'd take her precious baby away.
James
Radcliffe, honey, Radcliffe!
[citing the "dog school" Daphne attended; walks away]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Mollie's Festive Pink Celebration
Mollie
Pink! Mine's pink today... how festive!
[opening pay envelope; reads paper, faints]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Finding a New Dog Companion
Julie Ubriacco
Mommy found another doggie!
[from the car]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Awkward Suit Color Commentary
James Ubriacco
Look, they're gonna know my wife put me in this suit. It's the color of poo.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Concerns About Unusual Interests in Children
Mollie
Most little girls are obsessed with ponies and mermaids, not big sweaty men making jump shots. Should we be worried? Mike!
James
Well, it's the Suns, honey. If it were the Mavericks, I'd be worried.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Suit Comparison and Dental Plans
James
Mike, what do you think of this suit?
Mikey Ubriacco
You look like my principal.
James
See? Even he thinks it's stupid.
Mollie
*He* is not offering you a dental plan.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Haircut Complaints and Lighthearted Banter
Daphne
I hate this haircut, my butt is freezing!
Rocks
Ha, ha, cute butt.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Miscommunication About Mr. Conti's Location
Mr. Conti's Secretary
Mr. Conti's office? WHAT cabin? I'm sorry, there must be some mistake. Mr. Conti is in the Bahamas with his family-EEEEEEEE.
[gets prodded in a ticklish area by a playful workmate, laughs zealously]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Sibling Rivalry and Self-Identity
Rocks
Ma, hey, Ma! Check it out! I got these things on my face to open. I can see! I can see... wrinkly butts. Yuck!
Rocks Mother
Oh, they're not mine. They're your brothers and sisters'.
Rocks
Good. That makes me the cute one.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Struggle Between Authenticity and Professional Expectations
James
Honey, this isn't me. I wanna be myself.
Mollie
Okay, you're not gonna get this job if you're yourself.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Observations on Unlikely Friendships
Julie Ubriacco
Look, they like each other.
Daphne
Mongrel.
Rocks
Bitch.
James
See, honey. They like each other.
[to Mollie]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Princess's Tale in Queens
Mollie
Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess, and she moved to Queens. The end.
Julie Ubriacco
That's not a story!
Mollie
It is tonight. Good night.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Value of Practical Gifts
Mollie
You want to open another one of your presents?
Mikey Ubriacco
It's probably just more stupid clothes.
Mollie
Well, you know that? If it weren't for them, you'd be freezing your little tushie off right now.
Julie Ubriacco
Yeah!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Importance of Dental Hygiene for Kids
Mikey Ubriacco
I don't wanna brush my teeth. I brushed them last Saturday!
James
I know, but you're gonna have plants growing out of your mouth.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Mollie's Vulcan Reference in Look Who's Talking Now!
Mollie
No, I'm a Vulcan. What a death grip?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Discussion on Humor Between Friends
Mollie
James.
James
What?
Mollie
Don't tell jokes.
James
I'm funny!
Mollie
You *are* funny, honey, in sort of a...
James
Corny.
Mollie
Corny, kind of funny.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Case for Getting a Dog
Mikey Ubriacco
We need a dog. Cause like those guys who come to our door to sell stuff, he could chew their legs off.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Mollie Expresses Discomfort with Her Shoes
Mollie
I need to get these shoes off, my toes are curling.
[dressed up like an elf]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Dog's Perspective on Meals and Naps
Dogs
That's your last meal, amigo. Then it's a big nap for you.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Playful Banter Between Characters About Dogs
Mikey Ubriacco
Stop brushing her, Julie. She already looks like a Q-tip.
Julie Ubriacco
Your dog smells like a diaper.
Mikey Ubriacco
Does not!
Julie Ubriacco
Diaper dog! Diaper dog!
Mikey Ubriacco
Q-tip head dog.
Julie Ubriacco
Stinky dog!
Mikey Ubriacco
Bald-butted dog.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Affection Among Unlikely Friends
Julie Ubriacco
Look! They like each other!
James
See, honey, they like each other.
[to Mollie]
Daphne
Mongrel.
Rocks
Bitch.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Mollie's Holiday Insult to a Character
Mollie
Oh, yeah? Well, Merry Christmas, you bimbo!
[on the phone]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Honesty as a Business Liability
Mollie Ubriacco
When he gets nervous, he gets completely honest. That is a major business liability.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.