Love and Death Quotes

Boris Grushenko Wheat. I'm dead. They're talking about wheat. The question is have I learned anything about life. Only that - only that human beings are divided into mind and body. The mind embraces all the nobler aspirations, like poetry and philosophy, but the body has all the fun. The important thing, I think, is not to be bitter. You know, if - if it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that He's evil. I think that - that the worst you can say about Him is that basically, He's an underachiever. After all, there are worse things in life than death. I mean, if you've - if you've ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman, you - you know exactly what I'm talking about. The - The key here, I think, is to - to not think of death as an end, but - but think of it more as a very effective way of - of cutting down on your expenses. Regarding love, huh, you know, uh, what can you say. I-It - It's not the quantity of your sexual relations that counts. It's the quality. On the other hand, if the quantity drops below once every eight months, I would definitely look into it. Well, that's about it for me, folks. Goodbye.

Boris Grushenko I was walking through the woods, thinking about ]. If he was a carpenter, I wondered what he charged for bookshelves.

Boris Grushenko Nothingness. Non-existence. Black emptiness.

Sonja What did you say?

Boris Grushenko Oh , I was just planning my future.

Boris Grushenko You think I was made in God's image? Take a look at me. You think he wears glasses?

Sonja Not with those frames.

Boris Grushenko I should have been a pair of ragged claws scuttling across the floors of silent seas." Too sentimental.

Him Come to my quarters tomorrow at three.

Sonja I can't.

Him Please.

Sonja It is immoral. What time?

Him Who is to say what is moral?

Sonja Morality is subjective.

Him Subjectivity is objective.

Sonja Moral notions imply attributes to substances which exist only in relational duality.

Him Not as an essential extension of ontological existence.

Sonja Could we not talk about sex so much?

Sonya But, if there is no God, then life has no meaning. Why go on living? Why not just commit suicide?

Boris Gruschenko Well, let's not get hysterical. I could be wrong. I'd hate to blow my brains out and then read in the paper that they found something.

Sonja Boris, Let me show you how absurd your position is. Let's say there is no God, and each man is free to do exactly as he chooses. What prevents you from murdering somebody?

Boris Grushenko Murder's immoral.

Sonja Immorality is subjective.

Boris Grushenko Yes, but subjectivity is objective.

Sonja Not in a rational scheme of perception.

Boris Grushenko Perception is irrational. It implies immanence.

Sonja But judgment of any system or a priori relation of phenomena exists in any rational or metaphysical or at least epistemological contradiction to an abstracted empirical concept such as being or to be or to occur in the thing itself or of the thing itself.

Boris Grushenko Yeah, I've said that many times.

Countess Alexandrovna You're the greatest lover I've ever had.

Boris Grushenko Well, I practice a lot when I'm alone.

Sonja I do believe that this is truly the best of all possible worlds.

Boris Grushenko Well, it's certainly the most expensive.

Boris Grushenko Of course there was Old Greggor and his son Young Greggor. Oddly enough, Young Greggor's son was older than Old Greggor. Nobody could figure out how that happened.

Boris Grushenko A. ] is a man. B. All men are mortal. C. All men are Socrates. That means all men are homosexuals. Oh, well, I'm not a homosexual. I - I - Once, some - some Cossacks whistled at me. I - I - I happen to have the kind of body that excites both uh persuasions, but uh you know some men are - are heterosexual, and - and - s-some bisexual, and some men don't think about sex at all, you know, they're - They become lawyers. My problem is that I - I see both sides of every issue. I'm - I'm too logical. You know, I - I - I, the world is not logical. If it was logical, h-how would Old Nehamkin be younger than Young Nehamkin? I-I knew there was something crazy about that when I was a kid, but - but every time I said something, they'd smack me, so you know, heh heh. I-I'm - I'm just wracked with guilt, and I'm - I'm consumed with remorse and stricken with suffering for the human race. Not only that, but - but I'm developing a uh herpe o-on m-my lip here that is really killing me. What to do?

Sonja Boris! What happened?

Boris Grushenko I got screwed.

Sonja How?

Boris Grushenko I don't know. This vision came and said I was going to get pardoned, and then they shot me.

Sonja You were my one great love!

Boris Grushenko Oh, thank you very much. I appreciate that. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm dead.

Sonja What's it like?

Boris Grushenko What's it like? You know the chicken at Tresky's Restaurant?

Sonja Yeah.

Boris Grushenko It's worse.

Sonja Sex without love is an empty experience.

Boris Grushenko Yes, but as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.

Boris Grushenko Where did you go to finishing school? On a pirate ship?

Natasha I never want to marry. I just want to get divorced.

Boris Gruschenko I have no fear of the gallows.

Priest No?

Boris Gruschenko No. Why should I? They're going to shoot me.

Sonja That is so jejune!

Boris Gruschenko Jejune? You have the temerity to accuse me of quoting to you out of jejunosity? I'm the most june person there is!

Sonja Oh, Boris, I'm so unhappy.

Boris Grushenko Ohh, I wish you weren't.

Sonja Voskovec and I quarrel frequently. I've become a scandal.

Boris Grushenko Poor Sonja.

Sonja For the past weeks, I've visited Seretski in his room.

Boris Grushenko Why? What's in his room? Oh...

Sonja And before Seretski, Aleksei, and before Aleksei, Alegorian, and before Alegorian, Asimov, and...

Boris Grushenko Okay!

Sonja Wait, I'm still on the A's.

Boris Grushenko How many lovers do you have?

Sonja In the mid-town area?

Father Remember that nice boy next door, Raskolnikov?

Boris Yeah.

Father He killed two ladies.

Boris What a nasty story.

Father Bobak told it to me. He heard it from one of the Karamazov brothers.

Boris He must have been possessed.

Father Well, he was a raw youth.

Boris Raw youth, he was an idiot!

Father He acted assaulted and injured.

Boris I heard he was a gambler.

Father You know, he could be your double!

Boris Really, how novel.

Boris Grushenko Then there is a God. Incredible. ] was right. He that abideth in truth will have frankincense and myrrh smeared on his gums in abundance, and he shall dwell in the house of the Lord for six months with an option to buy. But the wicked man shall have all kinds of problems. His tongue shall cleave to the roof of his upper palate. And he shall speak like a woman, if you watch him closely. And he shall . . . The wicked man shall be delivered into the hands of his enemy, whether they can pay the delivery charge or not. And . . . Wait, I have more about the wicked man. I shall walk through the valley of the shadow of death. In fact, now that I think of it, I shall run through the valley of the shadow of death, cause you get out of the valley quicker that way. And he that hath clean hands and a pure heart is okay in my book. But he that fools around with barnyard animals has got to be watched.

Sonja Violence is justified in the service of mankind!

Boris Grushenko Who said that?

Sonja ].

Boris Grushenko You're quoting a Hun to me?

Sonja Boris, you can't be serious, you're talking about Mother Russia.

Boris She's not my mother. My mother's standing right here, and she's not gonna let her youngest baby get shrapnel in his gums.

Mother He'll go and he'll fight, and I hope they will put him in the front lines.

Boris Thanks a lot, Mom. My mother, folks.

Sonja To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But, then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer, to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy, therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness — I hope you're getting this down.

Anton lvanovich Lebedokov If you so much as come near the Countess, I'll see that you never see the light of day again.

Boris Grushenko If a man said that to me, I'd break his neck!

Anton lvanovich Lebedokov I am a man!

Boris Grushenko Well, I mean a much shorter man!