Mafia Mamma (2023) - Quotes

Carlo Romano: Do you like Limoncello?

Bianca: So you fucked him.

Kristin: No. He died first.

Bianca: You missed something. When he came, he screamed like a woman.

Carlo Romano: [[w:Vito Corleone|Like Vito Corleone] You are a Balbano. My Uncle killed your father. One day, you will come for me and the rest of my family. Eventually, we both seek revenge. ].

Kristin: I never saw "The Godfather

Carlo Romano: [[w:The Godfather Part II|It was "Godfather Part 2"] No. No! ]. Stupid American woman!

Kristin: He tried to kill me.

Jenny: With his penis?

Kristin: No, no, with poison.

Jenny: Poison penis? Slow down, Lorenzo did what?

Kristin: No, no. Not Lorenzo. Carlo!

Jenny: Wait. Who the fuck is Carlo?

Kristin: Oh my God, he is a super, hot mob boss who I had dinner with.

Bianca: [[w:Sonny Corleone|Just like Sonny] It can't be Fabrizio. He started the shootout. He's a hothead - with a horrible temper. ].

Kristin: Whose Sonny?

Bianca: [[w:The Godfather|From "The Godfather"] ]!

Bianca: Kristin! Kristin! You can't run away from your destiny.

Kristin: Oh, yeah? Watch me. Which way is it?

Kristin: [[w:oreo|Oreo] Listen, listen, listen. It's ].

Carlo Romano: [[w:Fondant|with cream] Really? Two chocolate biscuits together - ]?

Kristin: The cream - the cream is my favorite part.

Bianca: We have machines to crush grapes now. But, this is the classic way.

Kristin: This does feel kinda nice, huh?

Bianca: You must stomp on the grapes to release their juices.

Kristin: [[w:Under the Tuscan Sun|"Under the Tuscan Sun"] I deserve this. I deserve this. I'm gonna go and I'm gonna have my own ] or "Eat Pray Love".

Jenny: Fuck.

Kristin: What?

Jenny: Eat, Pray, *Fuck*. Say it.

Kristin: What? Eat, Pray - Fuck?

Jenny: Eat! Pray! Fuck!

Kristin: Jesus. Eat, Pray, Fuck.

Kristin: Eat, Pray, *Fuck*!

Jenny: Louder. Fuck the Vagina!

Kristin: Eat, Pray, Fuck!

Kristin and Jenny: Eat, Pray, Fuck! Eat, Pray, Fuck! Eat, Pray, Fuck!

Aldo: You can't leave. If the boss says you are the boss, you are the boss now.

Kristin: Yeah. Yeah, but, you know what, I am not a boss, like, not in any way shape or form. So, you know, especially, not in a mafia kind of way.

Kristin: [''Dante stomps on Kristen's cell phone''] How is Lorenzo supposed to get in touch with me? How will I ever have sex!

Bianca: [''Slaps Kristin''] You cannot be speaking to random strangers. It's too dangerous.

Kristin: He's not a stranger. He's gorgeous.

Kristin: I just need a vacation. I just really want my: Eat, Pray, Fuck!

Bianca: Eat, Pray, Fuck?

Kristin: [[w:Eat, Pray, Love|"Eat Pray Love"] Yeah, it's a - play on words, you know, the book, ].

Aldo: [[w:Elizabeth Gilbert|Elizabeth Gilbert] Yeah, it's a very uplifting and moving memoir by ].

Kristin: Yes! Yes, see, he knows! I want to make wine and I want to eat pasta and be romanced and...

Bianca: But, you came for a funeral.

Kristin: Yeah, I mean, you know, after the funeral.

Kristin: It's such an amazing time in your life. You can really become anyone you want to be.

Domenick: Mom.

Kristin: You could change the world.

Domenick: Mom.

Kristin: [[w:Colonization of Mars|You could colonize the Mars] ]!

Kristin: Shouldn't I stay here and work on my marriage?

Jenny: You should work on getting your pussy pounded.

Paul: This is really hard for me to admit, but, I have - this illness. All I want to do is have sex.

Kristin: I mean, I want to have sex too. We haven't had sex in, like, three years!

Paul: Yeah, I know, but, what I mean with a new person.

Jenny: Kristin, what do you masturbate to?

Kristin: [[w:Stanley Tucci: Searching for Italy|"Stanley Tucci: Searching for Italy"] Italian cooking shows. I mean, more specifically, ]. There was this one episode where he went to this burrata factory and it was all creamy and he got his hands in all the milky stuff. It was so...

Randy: [''Referring to laptop image''] When was the last time you saw a thigh gap like that?

Mammone Romano: [[w:Gruyère cheese|Gruyère cheese; [w:Eyes (cheese)|with a lot of holes] We made ] out of that coffin - ]!

Fabrizio: You terrified them. Last night was a true work of art. You have rage. Kirsten, wild, passionate, deep rage. I like it.

Bianca: [''Puts her arms around Kristin''] I just hope this is what you want. Never let the man dictate - who you are or what you can do.

Bianca: You can do a lot of good with the power you have. It's not about losing yourself. It's about - becoming yourself.

Bianca: Just because you're a mafia boss doesn't mean you have to be a bad person.

Bianca: You've been stress grape gathering all night!

Bianca: [''To Kristin''] You look like a librarian in a library, not a porno.

Bianca: This means war.

Hank: That's who we should be marketing to: insecure men with lots of cash.

Kristin: [''To Rome federal court judge''] I came to this country at a time in my life where I completely doubted myself. Then, when I arrived here, I discovered that I had inherited a vineyard. It was shriveling and dying - much like me. So, I nurtured it and I came to realize that I inherited so much more than a vineyard. I inherited an opportunity to fulfill my purpose. So, I inherited me.

Kristin: [''To Lorenzo''] Ooh, your pasta. It's the greatest thing I've ever had in my mouth.

Kristin: [''To Bianca''; [w:animal rights|Even animals. I can't even kill a bug. I trap it under a little cup and take it outside and I whisper, "Go, be free! Go live your life." And I imagine them building a new home and a new life] You could be a little nicer to me, you know. I just killed someone. I'm a very good person. I am a good mother. I would do anything for my son. I do everything for everyone. ].

Kristin: [[w:cannoli|a cannoli] Is that ] in your pocket?

Kristin: [[w:gnocchi|gnocchi] I was hoping to try ]. I love gnocchi. And I promised myself that if I ever came to Italy, I would eat as much gnocchi as I could.