Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World Quotes

Midshipman Blakeney Excuse me, Sir?

Capt. Jack Aubrey Remove your hat, Blakeney. We're whalers here.

Midshipman Blakeney May I speak with you, Sir?

Capt. Jack Aubrey Yes, yes.

Midshipman Blakeney Mr. Calamy says I'm not in the boarding party, I want to say...

Capt. Jack Aubrey I know what you want to say. My answer is no. You'll lead your gun crew and then when we board, you'll take command of the ship from here on the quarterdeck. Do I make myself clear?

Midshipman Blakeney Take command of the ship? Thank you, Sir.

Capt. Jack Aubrey To wives and sweethearts.

Officers To wives and sweethearts.

Capt. Jack Aubrey May they never meet.

Major cast ] – Stephen Maturin

Jack Aubrey Name a shrub after me – something prickly and hard to eradicate.

Capt. Jack Aubrey Right! From now on, no sirs, no salutes, no ayes, no whistles, no bells.

Officers Aye, sir.

Dr. Stephen Maturin Well, Mr. Blakeney, it would appear that you have the makings of a naturalist.

Midshipman Blakeney Well, sir, perhaps I could combine them to be a sort of … fighting naturalist … like you, sir.

Dr. Stephen Maturin They don't combine too well, I find.

Capt. Jack Aubrey (After the crew's rate of fire is not satisfactory enough) Lads, that's not good enough. Remember, we need to fire two broadsides to her one. Do you want to see a guillotine in Piccadilly!?

Crew No!

Capt. Jack Aubrey Want to call that raggedy-arse Napoleon your king!?

Crew No!

Capt. Jack Aubrey You want your children to sing the "La Marseillaise!?

Crew No!

Capt. Jack Aubrey Mr. Mowett, Mr. Pullings, starboard battery!

Jack Aubrey Do you not know that in the service … one must always choose the lesser of two weevils?

Stephen Maturin I've never seen a braver patient.

Dr. Stephen Maturin By comparison, the Surprise is a somewhat aged man-o-war. Am I not correct?

Capt. Jack Aubrey Would you call me an aged man-o-war, doctor? The Surprise is not old; no one would call her old. She has a bluff bow, lovely lines. She's a fine sea-boat: weatherly, stiff and fast … very fast, if she's well handled. No, she's not old; she's in her prime.

Sailing Master John Allen Well, we can patch up the main and mizzen, the foresail's too far gone, I'm afraid, so we'll bend our spare.

Lt. Thomas Pullings Mr. Lamb is confident, with basic repairs we can get home as we are--

Capt. Jack Aubrey We're not going home.

Sailing Master John Allen But, to refit, we need a port, and the Acheron may be still be looking for us.

Capt. Jack Aubrey We can refit at sea. Here. We're at shoals. As you said, Mr. Allen, she is taking the war to the south seas, and we are supposed to stop her.

Sailing Master John Allen But, Sir, with respect, she's a vastly heavier ship. She's out of our class. She could be halfway to Cape Horn by the time we're repaired and under way.

Capt. Jack Aubrey Well, then, there's not a moment to lose.

Jack Aubrey What's the butcher's bill?

Stephen Maturin You know, I'm very sympathetic of mutineers – men pressed from their homes, their chosen occupations …

Jack Aubrey Down! All hands down!

Midshipman Blakeney Is it true about how they put the last stitch through your nose?

Midshipman Calamy What do you mean?

Midshipman Blakeney Old Joe told me that when you die, they stitch you up in your hammock with the last stitch through your nose, just to make sure you're not asleep. Not through the nose, you'll tell them?

Midshipman Calamy (nods)

Jack Aubrey Right lads, now, I know there's not a faint heart among you, and I know you're as anxious as I am to get into close action. But we must bring them right up beside us before we spring this trap. That will test our nerve, and discipline will count just as much as courage. The Acheron is a tough nut to crack … more than twice our guns, more than twice our numbers, and they will sell their lives dearly. Topmen, your handling of the sheets to be lubberly and un-navy like. Until the signal calls, you're to spill the wind from our sails, this will bring us almost to a complete stop. Gun crews, you must run out and tie down in double quick time. With the rear wheels removed, you've gained elevation, but without recoil, there'll be no chance for re-load, so gun captains, that gives you one shot from the larboard battery … one shot only. You'll fire for her mainmast. Much will depend on your accuracy … however … even crippled, she will still be dangerous, like a wounded beast. Captain Howard and the marines will sweep their weather deck with swivel gun and musket fire from the tops. They'll try and even the odds for us before we board. They mean to take us as a prize. And we are worth more to them undamaged. Their greed … will be their downfall. England is under threat of invasion, and though we be on the far side of the world, this ship is our home. This ship is England. So it's every hand to his rope or gun, quick's the word and sharp's the action. After all, Surprise is on our side.

Capt. Jack Aubrey Well, Stephen … the bird's flightless?

Dr. Stephen Maturin Yes.

Capt. Jack Aubrey It's not going anywhere.

Able Seaman Slade Is them his brains, sir?

Dr. Stephen Maturin No, that's just dried blood.

Dr. Stephen Maturin Those are his brains.

Joseph Nagle It's like Killick says. Mornin o the battle, e doesn't ave the guts to beat to quarters. Then is entire gun crew's killed, cept for im. Momen e goes up the mizzen, Will falls. And whose watch was it when we lost our wind?

Jack Aubrey What is it with this man, did I kill a relative of his in battle perhaps? His boy, God forbid?

Jack Aubrey For England, for home, and for the prize!

Jack Aubrey * Inquiring about casualties

Major cast ] – Jack Aubrey

Jack Aubrey This is the second time he's done this to me. There will not be a third.

Stephen Maturin He who would pun would pick a pocket, sir.

Jack Aubrey We do not have time for your damned hobbies, sir!

Jack Aubrey Men must be governed. Often not wisely, I will grant you, but they must be governed nonetheless.