McLintock! Quotes

George Washington McLintock Now, we'll all calm down!

Drago Boss, he's just a little excited.

George Washington McLintock I know, I know. I'm gonna use good judgement. I haven't lost my temper in forty years, but pilgrim you caused a lot of trouble this morning, might have got somebody killed... and somebody oughta belt you in the mouth. But I won't, I won't. The hell I won't!

Taglines What has McLintock got that makes it different from all other westerns? It's got a tender love story! It's got good clean fun! It's got a warm story of family devotion!

Taglines He tamed the West... But Could He Tame Her?

George Washington McLintock Cuthbert H. Humphrey, Governor of our territory, is a cull. Do you know what a cull is, ma'am? A cull is a specimen that is so worthless that you have to cut him out of the herd. Now if all the people in the world were put in one herd, Cuthbert is the one I would throw a rope at.

Drago Boss, what's "reactionary" mean?

George Washington McLintock I guess he says that anyone who sells at a profit is a reactionary

George Washington McLintock I saw your picture in the paper at the Governor's Ball. You were dancing with the governor.

Katherine McClintock At least he's a gentleman.

George Washington McLintock I doubt that. You have to be a man first before you're a gentleman. He misses on both counts.

Drago I'm sorry Katherine - that Katie just slipped out from times when I remember you as being nice people...

Katherine McLintock Are you going to stand there with that stupid look on your face while the hired help insults your wife?

George Washington McLintock He can't help it - he's just ignorant. He doesn't know any better than to tell the truth. And I can't help this stupid look. I started acquiring it as you gained in social prominence!

George Washington McLintock Well you old Cantonese reprobate, how bout it?

Ching Ya fire me? I kill myself!

George Washington McLintock I'm not talkin about firing you I'm RETIRING you! You've been rustlin food for us for forty years! We're gonna put you out to pasture. All you'll have to do is give advice, be one of the family!

Ching I kill myself!

George Washington McLintock I may save you the trouble.

Drago Hey Ching, you kill yourself, I'll cut of your pigtail and y'ain't never gonna get to Heaven!

Ching I'll be one of the family?

George Washington McLintock I give you my solemn word.

Ching Pretty crummy family! Drinkee too muchee! Get in fight! Yell alla time!

George Washington McLintock Cut off his pigtail!

Ching ALRIGHT, I BE ONE OF THE FAMILY!

George Washington McLintock This is probably the first marriage I've ever seen that started out with a spanking!

George Washington McLintock Don't tell me it's a fine morning, or I'll shoot ya!

Taglines He likes his whiskey hard... His women soft... And his west all to himself!

George Washington McLintock I came close to killing you a couple of times when I was younger. Saddens me I didn't.

Devlin I am just a hired hand around here

George Washington McLintock Every so often Dev, you spell the strangest ideas. Everybody works for somebody. I work for everybody in these United States that steps into a butcher shop for a T-Bone steak and you work for me, it is not much difference

Farmer The government gave us each one hundred and sixty acres.

George Washington McLintock The government never gave anybody anything. You make these homesteads go, you'll have earned every acre of it. You just can't make em go on the Mesa Verde! God made that land fer buffalo. Serves pretty well for cattle. But it hates the plow! And even the government should know that you can't farm six thousand feet above sea level.

Taglines Wallops The Daylights Out Of Every Western You've Ever Seen!

George Washington McLintock I've got a touch of hangover, bureaucrat. Don't push me.

Drago That divorce business. Is that whatcha get when you paya woman not to live with ya?

George Washington McLintock That's about it.

Drago Some women I know'd be worth it.

George Washington McLintock Becky! Come here. Somethin I ought to tell you. Guess now's as good a time as any. You're going to have every young buck west of the Missouri around here tryin to marry you - mostly because you're a handsome filly, but partly because I own everything in this country from here to there. They'll think you're going to inherit it. Well, you're not. I'm going to leave most of it to, well, to the nation really, for a park where no lumbermen'll cut down all the trees for houses with leaky roofs. Nobody'll kill all the beaver for hats for dudes nor murder the buffalo for robes. What I'm going to give you is a 500 cow spread on the Upper Green River. Now that may not seem like much, but it's more than we had, your mother and I. Some folks are gonna say I'm doin all this so I can sit up in the hereafter and look down on a park named after me, or that I was disappointed in you - didn't want you to get all that money. But the real reason, Becky, is because I love you, and I want you and some young man to have what I had, because all the gold in the United States Treasury and all the harp music in heaven can't equal what happens between a man and a woman with all that growin together. I can't explain it any better than that.

George Washington McLintock If these settlers get burned out, there'll be a lot of hollerin that this country is too wild to be a state. We'll go on bein a territory some more, with a lot of political appointees runnin it according to what they learned in some college where they think cows are somethin you milk and Indians are somethin in front of a cigar store.

Becky McLintock You are my father and if you do love me you will shoot him!

George Washington McLintock I'm your father and I sure love you.

Becky McLintock You shot him! You really shot him! If he dies...

George Washington McLintock If he dies he will be the first man killed with a blank cartridge . We use this to start the races on the fourth.

Becky McLintock You poor dear.

Devlin Warren Poor dear? You would've had me shot down in cold blood! Yelling I insulted you an all. What you need is a good spanking.

Becky McLintock Daddy?

George Washington McLintock Leave me out of this.

Devlin Warren And I think I'll give you what you deserve.

Becky McLintock You wouldn dare!

Taglines Never such a tender love story! Never such a savage showdown! Never such restless natives!

Katherine McClintock What's going on here?

George Washington McLintock Now Katherine, are you going to believe what you see, or what I tell you?