The Show Must Go On, Clothes Optional
Taglines:
The show must go on, but the clothes must come off.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Challenges Facing Variety Performers Today
Laura Henderson:
As you know, these are difficult times. So many of our delightful variety performers have been forced onto the milkline.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Embracing Diversity in Showbusiness Challenges
Laura Henderson:
Showbusiness is full of Jewish people. One must make do!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Importance of a Good Argument
Laura Henderson:
My dear, you must never interrupt a perfectly good argument!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Excitement for Upcoming Auditions and Performers
Laura Henderson:
Tomorrow, we have auditions! Isn't that exciting? People come in to entertain us, and we say either stick around or buzz off!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Subtle Lighting and a Barber's Assurance
Laura Henderson: [the female genitalia]
You needn't worry. Our lighting will be so subtle, the disputed area will be barely visible. And anyway, we'll have a barber!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Building a Home for Future Generations
Laura Henderson:
But I've told all my friends, that I'm helping to build a home for future bastards!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Indifference to Public Gatherings
Laura Henderson:
And if we cause too many people to congregate in the street, who gives a fiddler's fuck?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Observations on Americans and Their Manners
Laura Henderson:
Are you American? Strange people, lovely manners.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Comparisons in Domestic Life
Laura Henderson:
My husband put me on top of the cupboard once. You have so much in common.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Observations on Men's Reactions to the Midlands
Laura Henderson:
You men certainly do get yourselves into such a state over the "midlands"!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Revelation About Mr. Van Damm
Laura Henderson:
(After seeing him naked) Why Mr Van Damm, you are Jewish!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
