31 quotes
Misunderstanding Leads to Frustration in Dialogue
Mr. Furious
Do yourself a favor and don't punch my clock, cause I'm a Pantera's box you do not wanna open.
Casanova Frankenstein
It is Pandora'.
Mr. Furious
Uh, please don't correct me. It sickens me.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Debate Over Lance Hunt's Identity
The Shoveler
Oh yeah, well, maybe if we had a billionaire benefactor like Lance Hunt, then we could afford some advertising.
Mr. Furious
I think that's because Lance Hunt is Captain Amazing.
Blue Raja
Oh, here we go.
Shoveler
Oh, don't start that again! Lance Hunt wears glasses. Captain Amazing doesn't wear glasses.
Mr. Furious
He takes them off when he transforms.
[Long-suffering]
Shoveler
That doesn't make any sense. He wouldn't be able to see!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Hero Balances Duty and Family Expectations
Blue Raja
I better get going. I've got a city to save.
Mom
Jeffrey? Do the accent.
Blue Raja
Uh, well... Well, I'd love to stay and chit-chat, Mother, but I fear I must away with me — our metropolis is in the clutches of madmen!
[shifts to British accent]
Mom
Jeff?
Blue Raja
Yeah?
Mom
Cheerio.
Blue Raja
Thanks, Mom.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Acknowledging Genius and Its Credentials
Shoveler
Doctor, you are a genius.
Dr. Heller
That's what the card says.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Discussion of The Sphinx's Reputation
Blue Raja
Well, there's The Sphinx.
Mr. Furious
Who?
Blue Raja
The Sphinx.
The Shoveler
Yeah, I've heard of this guy. He's a big crime-fighter down east.
Mr. Furious
What's his power?
Blue Raja
Well, he's terribly mysterious.
Mr. Furious
That's it? That's his power, he's mysterious?
Blue Raja
He's terribly mysterious, actually.
The Shoveler
Yeah, plus he can cut guns in half with his mind.
Blue Raja
Really? I hadn't heard that.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Understanding the Electro-Nuclear-Magnet Concept
Invisible Boy
So, this is basically a huge electromagnet.
Dr. Heller
Well, actually, it's an electro-nuclear-magnet. It's the next inevitable phase.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Courage in Choosing to Retreat
Blue Raja
Sphinx, what do we do?
Sphinx
Sometimes, the true hero is the one with the courage to run away.
Bowler
I like the way this man thinks!
Invisible Boy
Let's run.
Shoveler
We can't run.
Bowler
Oh, yes! Oh, yes — it's been established that we can run.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confusion Over Toggle Instructions
Captain Amazing
Now flip the second toggle.
The Bowler
... Again?
[Having already flipped on his instructions once]
Captain Amazing
What do you mean?
The Bowler
Flip the toggle twice?
Captain Amazing
No-no-no, don't do that, just flip it again, now, one time! Flip it.
The Bowler
... Does he understand what I'm asking?
[To Mr. Furious]
Mr. Furious
Hold on a second - Captain, exactly how many toggle flips in toto are involved in this procedure?
Captain Amazing
I just - I - Seven!
[Flustered]
Mr. Furious
Seven?!
[Incredulous]
Captain Amazing
Flip it!!
[A little hysterical]
The Bowler
Hold the phone! Everybody hold the phone. You phrased that incorrectly. We need to know how many toggle flips are needed not counting the gratuitous toggle flip you may have asked for in a moment of panic.
Captain Amazing
FLIP IT!!!
[Very hysterical]
Mr. Furious
Okay, you know what, can we just start again? Is there like a reset button on this thing or something?
Captain Amazing
No you little freak, there's no button for resetting! Flip the switch, lady! Don't look at me, lift your left arm and flip it, you moron!
The Bowler
Whoa! I am not a moron.
[Offended]
Captain Amazing
You're a moron! You're a moron! Flip the switch, lady!
Mr. Furious
Hey, don't call her a moron, that's not cool...
[Gently rebuking]
The Bowler
Thank you!
Blue Raj
I'll do it! I'll do it! It's this one, yes?
[Fed up]
The Bowler
No!
Captain Amazing
Uh-oh - wrong switch.
Mr. Furious
... Everybody heard me say reset button', right?
Blue Raja
Oh my God... Oh my God, we've killed him...
[Horrified]
The Shoveler
What do you mean, we'? I was right here.
The Bowler
I'm gonna check his pulse...
The Bowler
... I don't think he's gonna pull through.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Addressing Priorities Amidst Chaos
The Spleen
Where's Captain Amazing?
Blue Raja
There's been a bit of a cock-up, actually...
[Stressed]
The Bowler
Raja murdered him!
Mr. Furious
Guys? I think we have a bigger fish to fry right now.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Balancing Tactics and Unusual Footwear
Mr. Furious
Why am I doing this again?
Sphinx
When you can balance a tack hammer on your head, you will head off your foes with a balanced attack.
Mr. Furious
And why am I wearing the watermelon on my feet?
Sphinx
I don't remember telling you to do that.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Questioning the Creativity of Superhero Powers
Tony P
What do we got here?
Tony C
I think they're supposed to be jive superheroes.
Tony P
Well, they made a big mistake coming to Casanova's place. What's so funny?
[he draws a gun; the heroes snicker.]
Mr. Furious
That's it? That's your power? You have guns? Couldn't you be a little more creative than that?
Blue Raja
Pardon the impertinence, guv'nor, but what the devil does a pistol have to do with disco?
Disco Boy
It's a Saturday Night Special.
Mr. Furious
Weak.
Blue Raja
At best.
[more Disco Boys arrive, armed with a variety of blunt instruments.]
Shoveler
Check out the guy with the pipe. What are you, the Disco Plumber?
Blue Raja
There's no theme at all here, mates!
Mr. Furious
I mean, if you're gonna carry a chain, at least make it a gold chain, and that's just off the top of my head... Yo, what's up, Tiger Lily?
[To Tony C]
Tony C
Top of your head, huh?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Justice vs. Publicity in Champion City
Captain Amazing
We've always been each other's greatest nemesises... uh, nemesee... wh-what's the plural on that?
Casanova Frankenstein
Nemeses.
[Wearily]
Captain Amazing
Whatever. You're going to prison for life this time, Casanova. You see, here in Champion City we still do a fairly brisk trade... in justice.
Casanova
I thought it was all about publicity and keeping your sponsors happy.
Captain Amazing
See, it's that kind of cynicism that I truly feel is starting to poison society.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Naming the Team in Mystery Men
Invisible Boy
So what's the name of this team? How about the Super Squad?
Tony P
How about the Six Dead Guys in Their Stupid Costumes? No, no, no — the Magnificent Dead Guys. How about that?
Tony C
How about the Legendary Superfreaks?
Tony P
Way too positive. They totalled our car.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Non-Lethal Weapons Discussion
The Shoveler
You're gonna kill someone with that.
Dr. Heller
No, no, no - you see, everything here is non-lethal.
The Shoveler
Non-lethal? What?
Dr. Heller
I don't make weapons that kill.
The Bowler
Oh, I see. How delightfully eccentric of you. Whilst simultaneously being a complete waste of our time.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Son's Faith in His Father
Roland, Shoveller's Son
I believe in you, Dad.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Superhero's Unconventional Identity Revealed
Mom
Jeffrey, what are you doing?
Blue Raja
I'm, uh, I'm just... I... I... I'm a superhero, mother.
[shifts to British accent]
Mom
A superhero?
Blue Raja
An effete British superhero, to be precise. The Blue Raja is my name, and yes, I know I don't wear much blue and I speak in a British accent, but if you know your history it really does make perfect sense. I am pilfering your tableware because...I hurl it. I hurl it with a deadly accuracy. The point is, your boy's a Limey fork-flinger mother, hard cheese to swallow I know, but there it is. What will the bridge club think?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Lesson in Unchanging Behavior
Tony P
You guys never learn, do you?
Blue Raja
Apparently we don't!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Need for a Supervillain
Vic the publicist
I think right now we should focus on the positive. Tonight was good.
Captain Amazing
Yeah - you think so? Cause I was worried it was, um, I don't know... PATHETIC! "Amazing triumphs at a nursing home"? That's great copy, Vic.
Vic
Look, I'm a publicist, not a magician. You want big news, you have to have big fights. A superhero needs a supervillain. And thanks to you, we've got none left.
Captain Amazing
Then get... the... Death Man!
Vic
Death Man is dead.
Captain Amazing
Okay — Father Doom.
Vic
Life without parole. Apocalypto's doing fifty years. Armagezzmo's in exile. Baron von Chaos got the chair —
Captain Amazing
Really?
Vic
Casanova Frankenstein is locked up in a nut-house.
Captain Amazing
Casanova Frankenstein - now there was a supervillain! You know, he just... he's got those eyes, you know? I can't do it, but... and that voice! Such pure evil! The battles we used to have — extraordinary!
Vic
Used to." That's the problem, Captain. "Used to.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Blame and Miscommunication Among Superheroes
The Shoveler
What are we gonna publicise, Roy? The fact that we get our butts kicked? A lot?
Mr. Furious
Well, maybe if you didn't smack me in the face with a shovel every time we went out, we'd have a few more victories to brag about.
[Annoyed]
Shoveler
All right now, I'm sorry about that. I just have a tendency to lose my concentration when I've got a salad fork stuck in my rear end.
Blue Raja
Oh, oh — I get it! So your shovel in his face is my fault?
Shoveler
You threw a spoon at the guy, Jeff.
Mr. Furious
Yeah, what was up with that?
Blue Raja
I-I, I'm embarrassed about that. I thought it was a fork.
Shoveler
You're the master of cutlery. You couldn't throw a knife sometimes when someone's trying to kill me?
Blue Raja
No, I can't! You couldn't, ah, use a rake sometimes?
Shoveler
No. I'm the Shoveler.
Blue Raja
Well, I'm the Blue Raja. I'm not Stab Man, I'm not Knifey Boy — I'm the Blue Raja.
Mr. Furious
Yeah, that's another thing.
Blue Raja
What?
[Defensive]
Mr. Furious
Well, you could work a little blue into the uniform somewhere. I mean you've got green, you've got this little flowery thing going on, but it's like everything but blue.
Blue Raja
Well, if we could just step out of our literal minds, just for a moment.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Following Leads to Unexpected Encounters
Mr. Furious
Do you see what I see?
Shoveler
It's Tony C!
Blue Raja
And Tony P, leader of the Disco Boys! But what, pray tell, would he be doing back in town?
Mr. Furious
Maybe it's time to do some following to find out.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Cultural Misunderstandings and Bowling Balls
Bowler
So you're a British man who converted to Islam, sort of like Cat Stevens?
Blue Raja
No. Until the early part of this century, India was in fact part of the British Empire, whose government there was called the British Raj after the Hindi word for "sovereignty". Furthermore —
Bowler
Wait — so sorry. What? DAD! No, he's not a commie, nor a fruit. Sorry. His ignorance embarrasses me.
[to her bowling ball; to the Blue Raja]
Blue Raja
Sorry, but am I to understand that you've inserted your father's skull inside of that... ball for bowling?
Bowler
No. The guy at the pro shop did it.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Disco's Enduring Spirit in Changing Times
Casanova Frankenstein
Ah, the old Disco Room. Just as I left it.
Tony P
You been locked up for twenty years, Casanova. A lot of things have changed since then.
Casanova Frankenstein
It must have been hard for you, Tony, the way times and styles have changed... hearing the people say that disco is dead...
Tony P
Disco is not dead! Disco is LIFE!
[Snapping]
Casanova Frankenstein
Yes, Tony! That is the passion I remember! Stick with me, Tony, and you will dance again... when I rule this town.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Mastering Rage and Formulaic Sayings
Mr. Furious
Okay. Am I the only one who finds these sayings just a bit formulaic? "If you wanna put something down, you gotta pick it up". "If you wanna go left, you gotta go right". It's...
Sphinx
Your temper is very quick, my friend. But until you learn to master your rage —
Mr. Furious
Your rage will become your master? That's what you were gonna say, right? Right?
[The Sphinx freezes, caught]
Sphinx
... Not necessarily.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Concerns About Frakulation in Team Dynamics
Invisible Boy
But I don't want to get frakulated!
The Bowler
Psycho-frakulated.
Invisible Boy
We still get frakulated!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Revelations About Carmine the Bowler
Bowler
Have you ever heard of Carmine the Bowler?
Shoveler
Have we ever heard...
Blue Raja
Cor blimey, miss, don't tell us you're the Bowler's daughter!
Mr. Furious
I seem to remember there being a little controversy around his death.
Bowler
That's right. The police said it was an accident. He'd come home late one night and fell down an elevator shaft. Onto some bullets.
Blue Raja
You know, I've always suspected a bit of foul play.
Bowler
As have I.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Conflict Over Plans and Intentions
Captain Amazing
Listen, I really think we need to talk about your plans here.
Casanova Frankenstein
You know my plans, Lancie. Tomorrow night... I'm going to kill you.
Captain Amazing
Right. That's the part that really doesn't work for me.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Humorous Revelation of Identity
The Shoveler
Captain, I'm just going to ask you directly; do you know billionaire Lance Hunt?
Captain Amazing
It's me. Nah, I'm only kiddin ya - I always wanted to do that.
[Shoveler looks surprised and disappointed]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Game of Wits and Expectations
Casanova Frankenstein
Captain Amazing — what a surprise.
Captain Amazing
Really? I'm not so sure about that. Your first night of freedom and you blow up the asylum. Interesting choice. I knew you couldn't change.
Casanova
I knew you'd know that.
Captain Amazing
Oh, I know. And I knew you'd know I'd know you knew.
Casanova
But I didn't. I only knew that you'd know that I knew. Did you know that?
Captain Amazing
... Of course.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Incriminating Gadgets and Their Misunderstandings
Captain Amazing
Lookee here — a multi-frequency radio detonator! You really should be more careful when discarding incriminating evidence.
Casanova Frankenstein
Oh, no, no, no, no. This is an amusing little gizmo. It's really quite cool.
Captain Amazing
Yeah? What is it? Yuck!
[the gizmo emits a spurt of vapor into his face]
Casanova
It's a chloroform-deploying portable enticement snare.
Captain Amazing
Aw, DANG!
[he collapses]
Casanova
Poor Lancie. You really are so predictable.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confronting Mr. Furious's Anger Issues
Shoveler
Come on, somebody do something! We need him!
Bowler
Okay, let's do this. You're a very furious man. Do you understand that?
Mr. Furious
No.
Bowler
No? Well, you've got a lot to be furious about, and I'll tell you why. You're - not well-liked. You're, uh, abrasive and off-putting. You try to say pithy things, but your wit is a hindrance... so therefore nothing is provacative, it's just mixed metaphors. Now doesn't that make you angry? Does it infuriate you?
Mr. Furious
No.
Bowler
Well, it should! Are you angry? Come ON, man!
Shoveler
Your penmanship is atrocious!
Sphinx
You dress in the manner of a male prostitute.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unreciprocated Feelings and Regret
Lucille
Oh, I don't deserve this!
Shoveler
I know.
Lucille
A lot of other men I could have married, Eddie. Still are.
Shoveler
I understand.
Lucille
If one person vomits in my pool, I'm divorcing you.
Shoveler
That's fair.
Lucille
Mm-hmm. Come on, kids!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.