30 quotes
Reflections on Change and Nostalgia in Utah
Stumpy
I was there. Yeah, it was called the 80s. Ford was President, Nixon was in the White House and FDR was running this country into the ground. I was bummin in a hole-in-a-wall town in what is now called Utah. Some fella from Colorado shows up, starts making so called "improvements", right? Before we knew what hit us, the streets are running with latte's. It got so bad that a fella that liked to, you know... smoke a little grass or drink a little ripple. Crow like a rooster, maybe challenge the mayor's son to a gentlemen's duel, was "uncouth, against God." More like bad real estate values. Stumpy had to go!
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A Humorous Exchange on Aggression and Flirting
Eric Montclare
Luke, why don't you shut up before my fist makes an appointment with your ass?
Luke
Eric, do you notice you're always talking about sticking something in my ass, and that time it wasn't even a threat, technically, that was flirting.
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Seizing Opportunities in Life
Pig Pen
Carpe the Diem. Seize The Carp.
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Scars and Their Unexciting Origins
Inga
Tell me where did you get these scars?
Luke
Oh lets see. Skateboard, truck accident, and a fire hydrant.
Inga
I bet each one has its own exciting story, no?
Luke
No, not really. I skateboarded off a truck into a fire hydrant.
Inga
I never met an American boy before, are you all so, wild?
Luke
Yeah, we have a saying around here, "no brains, no headache.
Inga
We have saying in Switzerland too, "no swimsuit, no tan lines.
Luke
Thank you.
[Looking towards the sky; whispers]
Luke
We have another saying around here.
Inga
Uh huh, what's that?
Luke
I don't know.
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A Call for Sensitivity and Leadership
Luke
A little sensitivity here. Can't you see this is a dejected man? Now Rick, get your dejected head out of your ass. Papa Muntz wanted you to run this mountain.
[punches Pig Pen]
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Clarifying the Hierarchy of the Mountain
Luke
Maybe we should clarify something. When you won the race last night, that made you king of the mountain. Not king of the no-ball-pussy-losers. They already have their own king. My brother.
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Invention of Snowboarding Attribution Misunderstanding
Stumpy
Did I ever tell you about the time I invented snowboarding? Ya I don't want credit for it but they keep on giving it to me...
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Experience with Immaturity Acknowledged
Rick
You're pretty good with these kids. They seem to like you.
Jenny
Well, I seem to have experience dealing with immature boys.
Rick
Ouch.
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Unexpected Treasures in a Stolen Wallet
Rick
And as an added bonus you also win the contents of Eric's stolen wallet. Which are Luke...?
Luke
Two bucks, Condom, ...expiration date 1997. And a picture of his grandmoth- ...nope that's uh ...Nancy Reagan.
Rick
And most importantly, pushing, shoving and cheating are encouraged.
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Father-Son Revelation in Out Cold
Stumpy
Rick! I'm your father!
Rick
Ok whatever!
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Embracing a Life Without Regrets
Luke
No regrets, that's my motto. Well... that and everybody Wang Chung tonight.
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Introduction to El Matador's Meaning
Anthony
Welcome to el Matador, Spanish for, The Matador.
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A Longstanding Crush on a Bench
Luke
He's had a crush on that bench for years....Did you enjoy your nap?
[Pig Pen wakes up from humping a bench in his sleep]
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Questioning Polar Bear and STD Connection
Luke
Can you get an STD from a polar bear?
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Postponing Drinks for Responsibilities
Luke
Let's go have a drink everybody.
Rick
Actually I have to turn in. I have to give Mr. Mays a snowboarding lesson.
Luke
Yeah I've got fag practice in the morning so I understand.
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A Dance Invitation with a Twist
Luke
There you are, I've been looking for you, come inside, you look so beautiful and I wanted to see if you wanted to dance. Not you, him and his white tuxedo.
[drunk; Anna walks up]
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Changing Habits in Social Situations
Lance
Hey. Hot sluts with tits.
Rick
You don't have to do that anymore, remember?
Lance
Oh yeah. Sorry. Old habits die hard. Oh what the hell - I LOVE MEN. Who wants me?
Rick
Lance you don't have to do that either...
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Innocent Flirtation on the Slopes
Jenny
Are you sniffing me?
Lance
Oh man, if I was her I'd be getting with every dude on this mountain.
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Contradictory Feelings About Coffee and Nature
Luke
You know I hate what they're doing to the mountain, but this is the best vanilla latte I have ever had. You can actually taste the vanilla beans... I don't like the coffee.
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Misguided Advice on Romance and Entertainment
Pig Pen
Here's what I don't get alright is you met this chick and you got all freaky-deaky with her and then poof she disappeared. How's there a problem with that.
Rick
Pig Pen when I want advice about a good planet of the apes film or maybe how to get the resin out of my bong I'll come to you, okay? But I am not going to take romantic advice from someone who can't spell romantic or advice. Or bong.
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Confrontation Over Party Plans and Kung-Fu
Doorman
Get outta here!
Pig Pen
I'm gonna take Kung-Fu and kick your friggen ass! We'll have the party at our place... We don't need their fancy-smancy shit and their blue ropes!
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Rules and Guidelines in Conversation
Luke
Rule number one. You do not talk about king of the mountain. Rule number two. There are no rules.
Anthony
Uhh...what about rule number one?
Luke
That's more of a guideline than a rule. Do NOT interrupt.
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A Humorous Take on Restrictions and Enjoyment
Luke
Well, yeah it doesn't really allow my dice to roll and by dice I mean testicles. Speaking of testicles, let me get a beer.
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Suit Constraints and Personal Discomfort
Luke
This suit is really cramping my Hardy Boys. It's no mystery.
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A Conversation About Laziness and Limitations
Pig Pen
So, are you like a crippled guy?
[shouts]
Barry
Naw, I'm just a really lazy guy!
[shouts]
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Moving On and Relationships
Jenny
I seriously think it's time for you to move on and stop this broken-heart stuff.
Rick
All right. So... you wanna hook up?
Jenny
You're gonna have to try a lot harder than that, Rick.
Rick
Soooo... ya still wanna hook up?
[pause, lower; Jenny laughs]
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Unexpected Confrontation in Out Cold
Anthony
Oh, no you didn't.
[girl in bed with him farts on him]
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Admission of Drug Use
Pig Pen
I don't have to take a test to tell you that I take drugs.
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Unusual Request for a Messy Situation
Pig Pen
I'm gonna need a bucket, a paint brush and 10 pounds of salt. Lance. Get his pants.
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Claiming Ownership of Bull Mountain
Pig Pen
Snownook's not our home, Bull Mountain's our home.
Anthony
Well technically, it belonged to the Eskimos, but we stole it fair and square.
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