31 quotes
Seeking Respect Amidst Frustration and Sacrifice
Helen
Open this door! Goddamnit to hell! I was just like a little respect! Not alot, just a little! Do you know why I'm having sex with machinery? Because your father went to have a party and I stayed to raise two kids, and I HAVE NO LIFE!!!!!!!!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Navigating Family Dynamics and Expectations
The Buckman Family
Helen Buckman-Lampkin: Frank & Marilyn's first daughter (1st child)
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Navigating Family Dynamics and Relationships
The Buckman Family
George Bowman: Helen's 2nd husband
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Grateful Reflection on Childhood Lessons
Kevin, Age 21
All of this I have one thing to credit; when I was a kid and my father made me play second base. Thank you, Dad!
Gil
Thank you, son!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Protecting Patty from Larry's Influence
Gill
Keep Patty away from Larry. He'll suck the intelligence right out of her.
[to Nathan]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Burden of Life's Responsibilities
Gill
My whole life is have to...
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Concern for a Child's Well-Being
Gil
What's the matter, honey? You don't feel so good?
Taylor
Yeah.
Gil
You feel like you want to throw up?
Taylor
Okay.
Karen
Oh Taylor, baby... Gil, why are you :standing there?
Gil
Waiting for her head to spin around.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Simple Question About Time
Susan
Nathan, I need to speak with you for a couple of minutes.
Nathan
Patty, your mother and I will be gone for two minutes. How many seconds is that?
Patty
120.
Nathan
What is it?
Flashcard #1
This is the only way
Flashcard #2
To reach you, so
Flashcard #3
I am leaving you
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Concern for Children's Well-Being and Choices
Susan
Nathan, we're trying so hard to keep these kids off of drugs.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Stripper Mix-Up at Birthday Party
Stripper
So what is the name of the birthday boy? I will paint his name on my breasts.
Karen
What in the world?
Gil
We did not order any stripper! We hired Cowboy Dan.
Stripper
Is that so, let me call my boss.
Stripper
Oh my goodness, I am so sorry. My boss screwed up our assignments. I was supposed to do that birthday party at the Army base, but my boss sent Cowboy Dan there.
Karen
Then have him come here.
Stripper
There's a problem, you see, the soldiers got the wrong idea and beat up Cowboy Dan really good. He is in the hospital.
Kevin
Cowboy Dan is not here? All the kids will hate me!
Gil
Kevin, pull yourself together! A cowboy is coming.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Navigating Family Dynamics and Expectations
The Buckman Family
Susan Buckman: Frank & Marilyn's second daughter (3rd child)
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Reflections on Youth and Grandparenthood
Helen
No, no, no, no. I'm too young to be a grandmother. Grandmothers are old. They bake, and they sew, and they tell you stories about the Depression. I was at Woodstock, for Christ's sake! I peed in a field! I hung on to The Who's helicopter as it flew away!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Observation on a Disturbed Character
Tod
That is one messed-up little dude.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Parenting Challenges and Life's Uncertainties
The Buckman Family
Frank Buckman
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Discussion About an Unusual Ear Cleaner
Taylor
Mommy what was that?
Karen
That was an electrical ear cleaner.
Taylor
It was kinda big.
Grandma
It sure was.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Prediction on Relationships and Cooking
Helen
I give them six months. Three, if she cooks.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Family Dynamics in Parenthood's Buckman Family
The Buckman Family
Larry Buckman: Frank & Marilyn's second son (4th child)
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Navigating Family Dynamics and Expectations
The Buckman Family
Marilyn Buckman: Frank's wife
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Memorable Wedding Mishaps and Family Humor
Frank
Gil, you have a good memory. Uh, was it yours or Helen's or Susan's wedding I got drunk at?
Gil
It was all three, Dad. Congratulations.
Frank
Well, which one did I punch the band leader?
Gil
That was mine. We have photos. I'm having them blown up for the commitment hearings.
Frank
Well, you think he's funny. Well, when he was a kid, he wasn't as funny. Stayed in his room all day. Boy, you were a moody little son of a bitch.
Gil
Gee, I wonder why.
[sarcastically]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Curiosity about sex and filmmaking explored
Helen
l assume you're watching these because you're curious about sex... you know. Or filmmaking.
[Helen is trying to talk with Garry about his sex tapes]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Misunderstandings Among Generations in Parenthood
Susan
Helen? Oh, the door was unlocked...
[sees the sex action on the television]
Grandma
What channel is this?
Helen
No Gran, this is a tape.
Grandma
She needs a man now!
[to Susan]
Helen
Gran, this isn't mine. I don't watch this!
Grandma
One of those men reminded me of your Grandpa. God bless him!
[to Susan again as they are leaving the room and speaking of the sex action on the television]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Endless and Frightening Comparisons
Frank
It's like your Aunt Edna's ass. It goes on forever and it's just as frightening.
[on parenting]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Navigating Family Expectations and Responsibilities
The Buckman Family
Gil Buckman: Frank & Marilyn's first son (2nd child)
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Navigating the Challenges of Parenthood
The Buckman Family
Julie Lampkin: Helen's daughter (1st child)
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Cowboy Gil's Dark Humor and Guilt
Gill
They call me Cowboy Gil, as in guil-ty. I saw Cowboy Dan. I didn't like the look on his face. It was like this... ... so I killed him. I blew a hole in him this big. Actually it was about this big. You know, when I think about it, that hole was about THIS BIG! And his guts were spilled out all over the floor. As I was walkin away, I slip around on his guts. A couple of other people came by and started slippin on his guts too. After I blow a hole in somebody and slip around on their guts... afterwards, I always like to make balloon animals. That's mighty courteous of you. Here we go! Your lower intestines.
[smiles goofily; starts twisting balloons and then when he finishes, he holds up jumbled bunch of twisted balloons]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Love and Expectations in Relationships
Julie
He said that he loved me.
Helen
Men say that. They all say that. Then they cum.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Paradox of Parenthood and Responsibility
Tod
You know, Mrs. Buckman, you need a license to buy a dog, to drive a car - hell, you even need a license to catch a fish. But they'll let any butt-reaming asshole be a father.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Nostalgic Memories of a Roller Coaster Ride
Grandma
You know, when I was nineteen, Grandpa took me on a roller coaster.
Gil
Oh?
Grandma
Up, down, up, down. Oh, what a ride!
Gil
What a great story.
Grandma
I always wanted to go again. You know, it was just so interesting to me that a ride could make me so frightened, so scared, so sick, so excited, and so thrilled all together! Some didn't like it. They went on the merry-go-round. That just goes around. Nothing. I like the roller coaster. You get more out of it.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Crisis at the College Bell Tower
College Student #1
Someone's gone to the roof of the bell tower with a rifle!
Dean at College
It's Kevin Buckman! His father totally screwed him up!
College Student #2
What is he yelling?
Kevin, Age 21
YOU MADE ME PLAY SECOND BASE!
Gil
Son, I'm sorry. I did all the best I could.
[through bullhorn]
Gil
Nice shot son!
Gil
It's important to be supportive. Come on let's sing one of the old tunes. "When you're sliding into home and your pants are full of foam, Diarrhea -
[police; to Kevin]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Navigating the complexities of family life
The Buckman Family
Karen Buckman: Gil's wife
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Navigating the challenges of family life
The Buckman Family
Nathan Huffner: Susan's husband
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.