31 quotes
Questioning Marital Intimacy and Authenticity
Allan Felix
I wonder if she actually had that orgasm in the two years we were married, or did she fake it that night?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Concern Between Friends in Uncertain Times
Linda
Allan? Are you busy?
Allan
What're you doing here?
[stops working]
Linda
I don't feel so hot.
[sighs]
Allan
Whatsa matter?
Linda
What do you have for an anxiety attack? I need a tranquilizer.
Allan
I got everything. I'm a drug store. What's wrong?
[starts going through his pockets]
Linda
I have this throbbing in the pit of my stomach.
Allan
Yeah, well how do you know it's anxiety? How do you know it's not fear?
Linda
Oh, my stomach feels jumpy.
Allan
Yeah, you find it hard to breathe?
Linda
Yeah, a little. I feel frightened, and I don't know what over.
Allan
Yeah, I get that.
Linda
What is it, fear or anxiety?
Allan
Homosexual panic.
[hands her some pills]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Self-Reflection on Reality and Fantasy
Allan Felix
Who am I kidding? I'm not like that. I never was, I never will be. . . . That's strictly the movies.
[voiceover, after watching ''[[w:Casablanca (film)|Casablanca]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Marriage Advice with a Twist of Humor
Dick Christie
The two of you should get married and move into a hospital.
[to Allan Felix and Diane Christie]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Embracing Individuality and Self-Discovery
Bogart
That was great. You've, uh, you've really developed yourself a little style.
Allan
Yeah, I do have a certain amount of style, don't I?
Bogart
Well, I guess you won't be needing me any more. There's nothing I can tell you now that you don't already know.
Allan
I guess that's so. I guess the secret's not being you, it's being me. True, you're—you're not too tall and kind of ugly, but - what the hell, I'm short enough and ugly enough to succeed on my own.
Bogart
Hmmph. Here's looking at you, kid.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confusion in the Supermarket Aisle
Nancy
Don't listen to him!
Bogart
Don't listen to her.
Allan
Fellas, we're in a supermarket.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Romantic Expectations and Self-Perception
Nancy
Allan, what do you expect? Didn't I always say you were not the romantic type?
[as a fantasy appearance]
Allan
Whatsa matter with me, Nancy?
Nancy
You're a dreamer. You're awkward. You're clumsy. They can see how desperate you are. You know this. You said it yourself.
Allan
Look, don't go by that girl tonight. She was nothing. I was toying with her.
Nancy
Oh, face it, Allan. You may be very sweet, but you're not sexy.
Allan
Oh, don't be so sure. You never said that when we were married.
Nancy
I was thinking it.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Allan Felix's Ambitious Dating Aspirations
Allan Felix
I'll get broads up here like you wouldn't believe: swingers, freaks, nymphomaniacs, dental hygienists.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Addressing Emotional Reactions in Conflict
Allan Felix
Sorry I had to slap you around, but you got hysterical when I said, "No more.
[in a dream sequence to Dream Sharon]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Quirky Decision to Brush Teeth
Allan Felix
I'm going home. I think today I'm gonna brush all my teeth!
[to Dick and Linda Christie]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Perceptions of Roles in Relationships
Humphrey Bogart
Somewheres in life you got turned around. It's her job to smell good for you.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Insurance Scheme at the Beach House
Allan
This is a beautiful beach house.
Linda
Thank you.
Allan
Yeah, let's burn it down for the insurance money.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Exploring Gender Dynamics in Relationships
Allan Felix
Look. Last night you felt like a woman, and I felt like a man . . . And that's the kind of thing those people do.
[to Linda Christie]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Debate on Fussiness and Its Outcomes
Dick
He was always very fussy.
[to Linda Christie, about Allan Felix]
Allan
Yes, but look at the results.
[to Linda and Dick Christie]
Dick
Yes, you never went out.
[to Allan Felix]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Existential Reflections on Art and Life
Allan
That's quite a lovely Jackson Pollock, isn't it?
Museum girl
Yes, it is.
Allan
What does it say to you?
Museum girl
It restates the negativeness of the universe. The hideous lonely emptiness of existence. Nothingness. The predicament of man forced to live in a barren, godless eternity like a tiny flame flickering in an immense void with nothing but waste, horror, and degradation, forming a useless, bleak straitjacket in a black, absurd cosmos.
Allan
What are you doing Saturday night?
Museum girl
Committing suicide.
Allan
What about Friday night?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Humor in Medical Concerns
Linda
Would you like us to call a doctor?
Allan
No, no, I could use a three foot band-aid.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Communication and Coordination in Urban Life
Dick
I'll be at 362-9296 for a while, then I'll be at 648-0024 for about 15 minutes, then I'll be at 752-0420, and then I'll be home, at 621-4598. Yeah, right George, bye-bye.
[on the phone]
Linda
There's a phone booth on the corner. You want me to run downstairs and get the number? You'll be passing it.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Cleansing Power of Rain
Allan Felix
I love the rain - it washes memories off the sidewalk of life.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unconventional Drink Combinations Discussed Among Friends
Allan
You want a Fresca with a Darvon?
Linda
Unless you have some apple juice.
Allan
Apple juice and Darvon is fantastic together!
Linda
Have you ever had Librium and tomato juice?
Allan
No, I haven't personally, but another neurotic tells me they're unbelievable.
Dick
Could I get a coke with nothing in it?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Suggestion for Romantic Action
Linda
Maybe if you just leaned across the candlelight and kissed her.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Legal Communication Breakdown
Nancy
My lawyer will call your lawyer.
Allan
I don't have a lawyer. Have him call my doctor.
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Unexpected Compliment Leads to Surprising Reaction
Allan
I have met a lot of dames, but you are really something special.
Linda
Really?
Allan
She bought it!
[to Bogart]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Investing Emotions in Relationships and Stocks
Dick
Allan, you have invested your emotions in a losing stock, it was wiped out, it dropped off the board. Now what do you do Allan? You reinvest. Maybe in a more stable stock. Something with long term growth possibilities.
Allan
Who are you going to fix me up with, General Motors?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Reflection on Lost Love and Longing
Dick
Allan, the world is full of eligible women.
Allan
Yeah, but not like Nancy. She was a lovely thing. I used to lay in bed at night and watch her sleep. Once in a while, she would wake up and catch me. She would let out a scream.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Regret and Timing in Relationships
Allan
If that plane leaves the ground, and you're not on it, you'll regret it, maybe not today maybe not tomorrow, but soon, and for the rest of your life.
Linda
That's beautiful!
Allan
It's from ]. I've waited my whole life to say it.
[[Casablanca (film)|Casablanca]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Perceptions of Relationships and Violence
Humphrey Bogart
I never saw a dame yet that didn't understand a good slap in the mouth or a slug from a .45.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Skepticism About Identity in Conversation
Dick Christie
Who were those guys?
Allan Felix
Oh, they said they were hairdressers, hard to believe though.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Reactions to Leaving Home
Allan Felix
I had to go to Washington once when I was married, and though I was the one leaving, I got sick, and when I returned, my wife threw up.
[to Linda Christie]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
An Unexpected Birthday Gift and Memory
Allan
Here, I got you a present because it's your birthday.
Linda
How'd you know?
Allan
Well, you mentioned the date, and I remembered because it's the same day my mother had her hysterectomy.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Parenting and Unfulfilled Wishes
Allan Felix
No, my parents never got divorced, although I begged them to.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Navigating Friendship and Romantic Tension
Allan
I can't do it. How does it look? I invite her over and then come on like a sex degenerate. What am I, a rapist?
Bogart
You're getting carried away. You think too much. Just do it.
Allan
We're platonic friends. I can't spoil that by coming on. She'll slap my face.
Bogart
Oh, I've had my face slapped plenty of times.
Allan
Yeah, but your glasses don't go flying across the room.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.