Punch-Drunk Love Quotes

Barry Egan Lena. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry I left you at the hospital. I called a phone-sex line... I called a phone-sex line before I met you, and four blond brothers came after me and they hurt you, and I'm sorry. Then I had to leave again because I wanted to make sure you never got hurt again. And, and I have a lot of puddings, and in six to eight weeks it can be redeemed. So if you could just give me that much time, I think I can get enough mileage to go with you wherever you go if you have to travel for your work. Because I don't ever want to be anywhere without you. So could you just let me redeem the mileage?

Dean Trumbell Fuck you. You're a pervert. Think you can be a pervert and not pay for it?

Lena So, here we go.

Barry Egan I didn't ask for a shrink - that must've been somebody else. Also, that pudding isn't mine. Also, I'm wearing this suit today because I had a very important meeting this morning and I don't have a crying problem.

Barry Listen to me. What's your name, Sir?! ANSWER ME!

Dean Trumbell What's your name, asshole?

Barry I'm Barry Egan!

Dean Trumbell How do I know?! You could be anybody, fuckwit!

Barry You're a bad person. You have no right taking people's confidence in your service. You understand me, sir? You're sick!

Dean Trumbell No no, SHUT UP! SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Barry You have no right to take people's trust.

Dean Trumbell SHUT UP! Will You- SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT, SHUT, SHUT, SHUT, SHUT UP! SHUT UP! Now! Are you threatening me, dick?!

Barry Why don't you--? You go fuck yourself!

Dean Trumbell You-- Grrr... You... FUCK! Did you just say, "Go fuck myself"?

Barry Yes, I did.

Dean Trumbell That wasn't good! You're dead!

Barry Egan I don't know if there is anything wrong because I don't know how other people are.

Barry Egan I have so much strength inside of me. You have no idea. I have a love in my life. It makes me stronger than anything you can imagine. I would say "That's that", Mattress Man.

Barry All I want is her fucking number! That should be a goddamn good enough for you now. Give me her FUCKING NUMBER!

Elizabeth Okay.

Barry You FUCKING hear me?

Elizabeth Yes.

Barry I'M SICK OF THIS FUCKING SHIT!

Elizabeth Barry...

Barry STOP fucking treating me this way! Give me her FUCKING number! I'll fucking kill you! YOU WANT THAT?!

Barry Egan I didn't do anything. I'm a nice man. I mind my own business. So you tell me that's that before I beat the Hell from you.

Dean Trumbell NOW GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE, PERVERT!

Barry DIDN'T I WARN YOU?!

Dean Trumbell That's that.

Barry I'm looking at your advertisement for the airline promotion and giveaway.

Operator Carter Ah, this is our frequent flyer plan.

Barry Yeah, it's hard to understand, because it says "in addition to", but I can't actually understand in addition to what because there's actually nothing to add it to.

Operator Carter I think that's a typo, then.

Barry Okay, so just to clarify, I'm sorry, ten purchases of any of your Healthy Choice products equals 500 miles and with the coupon, the same purchases would value 1000 miles.

Operator Carter That's it.

Barry Well, do you realize that the monetary value of this promotion and the prize is potentially worth more than the purchases?

Operator Carter I don't know.