Real Genius (1985) - Quotes

Avoiding Responsibility Through Diversions

Taglines: It's yet another in a long series of diversions in an attempt to avoid responsibility.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

The Genius of Chris Knight in the 80s

Taglines: MEET CHRIS KNIGHT, THE EINSTEIN OF THE 80'S. He can turn the simple into the simply amazing, and now he turns revenge into high comedy.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Creativity as a Response to Anger

Taglines: When he gets mad, he doesn't get even... he gets creative.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Self-Realization and Quoting the Immortal Words

Mitch: What are you doing?

Chris Knight: [[Socrates] Self-realization. I was thinking of the immortal words of ], who said, "... I drank what?

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Power Struggle in Academic Pressure

Jerry Hathaway: I want five megawatts by mid-May. Look, I don't care if you're arrogant. I don't care if you're disrespectful. But your attitude's distracting Mitch, and that I won't have. The rules have changed. I want it by mid-May.

Chris Knight: I think that you're just forgetting about one little detail, and that's that I am out of here. I'm gone, I'm history, I'm Casper, I'm graduating.

Jerry Hathaway: To graduate, you need my course, dear boy. So it seems I have something to say about what you do and where you go. So from now on you and Mitch are going to spend every waking moment in the lab. You will solve my power problem, and you will solve it by my deadline.

Chris Knight: OK, if you think that by threatening me, you can get me to be your slave, well... that's where you're right, but - and I'm only saying this because I care - there are a lot of decaffeinated brands on the market today that are just as tasty as the real thing.

Jerry Hathaway: I'm not kidding, Chris.

Chris Knight: Neither am I, Jerry.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Standards in Unconventional Requests

Chris Knight: No seriously, listen...if there's ever anything I can do for you, or more to the point, to you, you let me know, okay?

Susan Decker: Can you hammer a six inch spike through a board with your penis?

Chris Knight: Not right now.

Susan Decker: A girl's got to have her standards.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Unexpected Family Revelations

Chris Knight: [about Susan] I'm sorry, but have you ever seen a body like this before in your life?

David Decker: She happens to be my daughter.

Chris Knight: Oh. Then I guess you have.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Conversations on Confidence and Shock Treatments

Bodie: He said he didn't feel like it. And I said, "You'd better!" And he said, "Or what?" And I said, "Or you're gonna be in trouble." And he said, "Jam it.

Jerry Hathaway: That's a wonderful story, Bodie. I noticed you've stopped stuttering.

Bodie: I've been giving myself shock treatments.

Jerry Hathaway: Up the voltage.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Satellite Debris and a Funny Hat

Recruiter: Chris, this is my assistant, Sherry Nugil, and this is Mike Dodd, designer of our new Telcom satellite.

Chris Knight: [as if honored; Casually] Doctor Dodd! Telcom...Isn't that the satellite that's raining debris all over Europe?

Dr. Dodd: [sharply] Why is that toy on your head?

Chris Knight: [matter-of-factly] Because, if I wear it anywhere else, it chafes.

Chris Knight: [Looking at Sherry Nugil; Sherry laughs, Dodd and the recruiter look uncomfortable] I'm sorry. It's just that I didn't want you guys to think I was stuffy. You know, no fun. All brain, no penis. I'm sorry, it was just an infantile response to authority.

Recruiter: [examines Chris' "visitor" tag] Yes. You are Chris Knight, aren't you?

Chris Knight: [reflectively] I hope so...I'm wearing his underwear.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Dreams and Uncommon Experiences Among Friends

Mitch: You know, um, something strange happened to me this morning...

Chris Knight: Was it a dream where you see yourself standing in sort of sun-god robes on a pyramid with a thousand naked women screaming and throwing little pickles at you?

Mitch: No...

Chris Knight: Why am I the only one who has that dream?

Mitch: Did you know there's a guy living in our closet?

Chris Knight: You've seen him too?

Mitch: Who is he?

Chris Knight: Hollyfeld.

Mitch: Why does he keep going into our closet?

Chris Knight: Why do you keep going into our closet?

Mitch: To get my clothes - but that's not why he goes in there.

Chris Knight: Of course not, he's twice your size - your clothes would never fit him.

Mitch: Yeah...

Chris Knight: Think before you ask these questions, Mitch. Twenty points higher than me? Thinks a big guy like that can wear his clothes?

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Alphabetical Order of Chaos

Chris Knight: You didn't touch anything, did you?

Mitch: No.

Chris Knight: Good. Because all of my filth is arranged in alphabetical order. This, for instance, is under H for "toy.

Mitch: What is that?

Chris Knight: It's a penis stretcher. Do you want to try it?

Mitch: No!

Chris Knight: I'm kidding. It's yet another in a long series of diversions in an attempt to avoid responsibility.

Intimidation and Friendship in Youth

Jerry Hathaway: Mitch, will you miss your friends?

Mitch: Well, no. I think I intimidate other kids.

Jerry Hathaway: Good boy.

Questions About Hair and Adoption

Mrs. Taylor: Dr. Hathaway, I saw your program on radioactive isotopes last night, and I've got a question.

Jerry Hathaway: Yes?

Mrs. Taylor: Is that your real hair?

Jerry Hathaway: Tell me something. Is Mitch by any chance adopted?

Mrs. Taylor: Why, no!

Jerry Hathaway: Amazing.

Mrs. Taylor: Isn't it?

Naming a Child with Humor

Chris Knight: Do you mind if I name my first child after you? "Dipshit Knight" has a nice ring to it.

Warning About Unintended Consequences of Eating

Chris Knight: [to a girl at a party; looks down at her chest] Don't eat that. Don't you know that eating that can give you very large breasts? Oh my God, I'm too late!

Frustration with Academic Focus and Lack of Fun

Chris Knight: Moles and trolls, moles and trolls, work, work, work, work, work. We never see the light of day. We plan this thing for weeks and all they want to do is study. I'm disgusted. I'm sorry but it's not like me, I'm depressed. There was what, no one at the mutant hamster races, we only had one entry into the Madame Curie look-alike contest and he was disqualified later. Why do I bother?

Contemplating the Effects of Gravity Change

Chris Knight: [to Mitch, as he is hanging upside down] Would you be prepared if gravity reversed itself? The only thing I can't figure out is how to keep the change in my pockets. I've got it. Nudity.