9 quotes
Royal Rights and Marital Customs
Rabbi Tuckman
Excuse me, King. Why, if you like this guy so much, do you object to his marrying Maid Marian?
King Richard
I have no objection, but I have not yet kissed the bride. It is a custom, and my royal right. Hold this, Father.
[hands the rabbi his sword]
Rabbi Tuckman
Rabbi.
King Richard
Whatever.
Rabbi Tuckman
It's good to be the king.
[impressed]
King Richard
Now... you may marry them!
[voice squeaking]
Rabbi Tuckman
Thank you. Here's your knife.
King Richard
Sword.
Rabbi Tuckman
Whatever.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Appointing a New Sheriff in Sherwood
Robin Hood
As my first order of business, I would like to appoint a new Sheriff... my friend Ahchoo.
Townspeople
A black sheriff?!
Blinkin
He's black?
Achoo
And why not? It worked in ].
[[Blazing Saddles]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Accent as a Tool for Leadership
Robin Hood
I've come to warn you that if you do not stop levying these evil taxes, I shall lead the good people of England in a revolt against you.
Prince John
And why should the people listen to you?
Robin Hood
Because, unlike ], I can speak with an English accent.
[[w:Kevin Costner|some other Robin Hoods]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Prince John's Darkly Humorous Announcement
Prince John
Tell everyone that when the day is out we shall have a wedding. Or a hanging. Either way, we're gonna have a lot of fun, huh?
[joyfully snaps fingers; everybody cheers]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Toll and Roll: A Misunderstanding
Robin Hood
Kindly let me pass.
Little John
Uh, no. Sorry, but a toll is a toll, and a roll is a roll, and if we don't get no tolls, then we don't eat no rolls. I made that up.
[proudly]
Robin Hood
It's very fascinating. But I'm afraid I'm going to have to hurt you.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Changing Outfits in Robin Hood Parody
Ahchoo
Let's get out of this ladies clothing and get into our tights!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Name Change Through the Centuries
Prince John
Such an unusual name. Latrine. How did your family come by it?
Latrine
We changed it in the 9th Century.
Prince John
You changed it to Latrine?
Latrine
Yeah! It used to be Shithouse.
Prince John
It's a good change...it's a good change.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Introductions in Robin Hood's Band
Robin Hood
Blinkin, I'd like you to meet Ahchoo.
Blinkin
A Jew? Here?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Encountering Robin Hood and His Merry Men
Robin Hood
You've just entered the territory of Robin Hood and his Merry Men.
Rabbi Tuckman
Faigelehs?
[makes a suggestive wave of his hand]
Robin Hood
No, no, we're straight, just merry.
Rabbi Tuckman
As I. And who are you, with the exceptionally long feather in your hat?
Robin Hood
I am Robin of Loxley.
Rabbi Tuckman
Robin of Loxley? I've just come from Maid Marian, the woman whose heart you've stolen, you prince of thieves, you! I knew her parents before they were taken in the plague, Lord and Lady Bahgel. You know, you two were made for each other. I mean, what a combination. Loxley and Bahgel! It can't miss!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.