Appointing a New Sheriff in Sherwood
Robin Hood:
As my first order of business, I would like to appoint a new Sheriff... my friend Ahchoo.
Townspeople:
A black sheriff?!
Blinkin:
He's black?
Achoo: [[Blazing Saddles]
And why not? It worked in ].
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Royal Rights and Marital Customs
Rabbi Tuckman:
Excuse me, King. Why, if you like this guy so much, do you object to his marrying Maid Marian?
King Richard: [hands the rabbi his sword]
I have no objection, but I have not yet kissed the bride. It is a custom, and my royal right. Hold this, Father.
Rabbi Tuckman:
Rabbi.
King Richard:
Whatever.
Rabbi Tuckman: [impressed]
It's good to be the king.
King Richard: [voice squeaking]
Now... you may marry them!
Rabbi Tuckman:
Thank you. Here's your knife.
King Richard:
Sword.
Rabbi Tuckman:
Whatever.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Name Change Through the Centuries
Prince John:
Such an unusual name. Latrine. How did your family come by it?
Latrine:
We changed it in the 9th Century.
Prince John:
You changed it to Latrine?
Latrine:
Yeah! It used to be Shithouse.
Prince John:
It's a good change...it's a good change.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Accent as a Tool for Leadership
Robin Hood:
I've come to warn you that if you do not stop levying these evil taxes, I shall lead the good people of England in a revolt against you.
Prince John:
And why should the people listen to you?
Robin Hood: [[w:Kevin Costner|some other Robin Hoods]
Because, unlike ], I can speak with an English accent.
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Unexpected Introductions in Robin Hood's Band
Robin Hood:
Blinkin, I'd like you to meet Ahchoo.
Blinkin:
A Jew? Here?
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Encountering Robin Hood and His Merry Men
Robin Hood:
You've just entered the territory of Robin Hood and his Merry Men.
Rabbi Tuckman: [makes a suggestive wave of his hand]
Faigelehs?
Robin Hood:
No, no, we're straight, just merry.
Rabbi Tuckman:
As I. And who are you, with the exceptionally long feather in your hat?
Robin Hood:
I am Robin of Loxley.
Rabbi Tuckman:
Robin of Loxley? I've just come from Maid Marian, the woman whose heart you've stolen, you prince of thieves, you! I knew her parents before they were taken in the plague, Lord and Lady Bahgel. You know, you two were made for each other. I mean, what a combination. Loxley and Bahgel! It can't miss!
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Toll and Roll: A Misunderstanding
Robin Hood:
Kindly let me pass.
Little John: [proudly]
Uh, no. Sorry, but a toll is a toll, and a roll is a roll, and if we don't get no tolls, then we don't eat no rolls. I made that up.
Robin Hood:
It's very fascinating. But I'm afraid I'm going to have to hurt you.
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Changing Outfits in Robin Hood Parody
Ahchoo:
Let's get out of this ladies clothing and get into our tights!
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Prince John's Darkly Humorous Announcement
Prince John: [joyfully snaps fingers; everybody cheers]
Tell everyone that when the day is out we shall have a wedding. Or a hanging. Either way, we're gonna have a lot of fun, huh?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
