Romancing the Stone poster

Romancing the Stone Quotes

"She's a girl from the big city. He's a reckless soldier of fortune. For a fabulous treasure, they share an adventure no one could imagine... or survive."

PG 1984 · 1h 46m
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21 quotes
Romancing the Stone
Regrets of a Missed Career Path
Jack Colton Goddamn it, I knew I should've listened to my mother. I could've been a cosmetic surgeon, five hundred thou a year, up to my neck in tits and ass.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Romancing the Stone
Urgent Need for Communication Amidst Challenges
Joan Wilder Excuse me, mister. Can you tell where can I get to a telephone?
Jack Colton No, lady. I don't have any idea. I'm sorry.
Joan Wilder But it's very important that I get to one.
Jack Colton Well, we've all got our problems today. Don't we?
Joan Wilder Can you tell me where the nearest town is?
Jack Colton English speaking? How about Miami?
Joan Wilder Will there be another bus?
Jack Colton Another bus? This is it. You've got rush hour.
[looks around a deserted, dirt mountain road]
Joan Wilder I need to get to Cartagena.
Jack Colton Cartagena? Angel, you are hell and gone from Cartagena. Cartagena's over there on the coast.
Joan Wilder But they told me this bus...
Jack Colton Who told you that? Who told you this bus was going to Cartagena?
Joan Wilder That man...
Jack Colton That nice man who pulled a gun on you? What else did he tell you?
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Romancing the Stone
Dreams of Sailing Alone
Joan Wilder What do you want? Seriously, I'd really like to know.
Jack Colton Came down here in a coffee boat, about a year and a half ago. Right. Christ, what job that was. But, I couldn't get over that ocean, though, you know. Yeah. I love the ocean. You know you just got to get out there - all by yourself - nobody else around. It's beautiful. So, that's what I want. Try to get enough money together to buy a boat and sail around the world.
Joan Wilder So, you're just gonna sail away? All by yourself?
Jack Colton Yeah.
Joan Wilder Sounds lonely, Jack T. Colton. Well, what does the "T" stand for?
Jack Colton Trustworthy.
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Romancing the Stone
A Moment of Separation and Reassurance
Joan Wilder You're leaving? You're leaving me?
Jack Colton You're gonna be all right, Joan Wilder. You always were.
[they kiss]
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Romancing the Stone
A Moment of Connection Between Two Characters
Joan Wilder You're the best time I've ever had.
Jack Colton I've never been anybody's best time.
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Romancing the Stone
Honesty in Theft and Self-Identity
Ralph Oh, oh I'm the creep, huh? Well at least I'm honest: I'm stealing this stone. I'm not trying to romance it out from under her.
[to Jack]
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Romancing the Stone
Tension and Humor in a Crisis Situation
Jack Colton Jesus Christ, we're in a lot of trouble.
[Jack and Joan find the stone in a cave]
Ralph Understatement of the year, asshole.
[surprising them, holding a gun]
Jack Colton Is there anybody who isn't following you?
[to Joan]
Ralph Put the goods in the bag.
Ralph Now move it, before Batman comes home.
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Romancing the Stone
Contemplation of Death and Speed
Col. Zolo How will you die, Joan Wilder? Slow, like... a snail? Or fast, like a shooting star?
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Romancing the Stone
Questioning Intentions and Actions
Jack Colton What did you do, wake up this morning and say, "Today, I'm going to ruin a man's life"?
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Romancing the Stone
Colonel Zolo's Perspective on Order and Control
Col. Zolo They know nothing. They are peasants. Another bus will come along. There are schedules to be kept, even in Columbia.
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Romancing the Stone
From Romance to Practicality in Relationships
Joan Wilder These were Italian.
[after Jack chops off the heels on her shoes]
Jack Colton Now they're practical.
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Romancing the Stone
Tension Between Brothers in a Crisis
Ira Of all the things you could say to me right now, "I lost her," Ralph, is gonna get the most teeth broken in your mouth.
Ralph Look, bullethead. If they're hiking through the jungle there's nothing I can do about it. I have a car. I am not Tarzan. I have been through every one-horse shithole for a two-hundred mile radius. You should have seen the river I had to traverse this morning. So don't give me any of your crap, you gutless wonder. You have been an embarrassment to our family ever since the day you were born! And let me tell you something else, Ira... You are luckiest son of a bitch that ever walked the face of the earth! She's here!
[he turns and sees Joan and Jack getting out of a car]
Ira She's there?!
Ralph She's right here! She's walking towards the phone. She's with some guy. How do I know? She likes guys! So do you, maricon!
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Romancing the Stone
Promise of Adventure and Discovery
Jack Colton Someday if I had the money, I'd take you... we'd sail away... around the world and back again. I promise you. I promise you we'll do that.
[looking at a photo of his dream yacht whilst lying in bed with Joan]
Joan Wilder Why haven't you taken the map away from me?
Jack Colton What are you talking about?
Joan Wilder I saw that tree today, the Devil's Fork, it's on the map. You know how close we are?
Jack Colton Yeah sure I do. What's that got to do with it?
Joan Wilder I was thinking about something you said... about having more to bargain with.
Jack Colton Yeah. The best way to help your sister is to get that treasure and if you waltz into Cartagena you're holding all the cards.
Joan Wilder I'd love to see you on that boat. But Jack if we have to give it up... to save Elaine?
Jack Colton Then we give it up. I mean it's your sister. Hell yeah. Of course we give it up. That's the point. At least we've got the leverage to do it.
Joan Wilder OK. OK. Let's got for it.
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Romancing the Stone
Negotiating for Transportation in Challenging Circumstances
Jack Colton I understand you have a car. We would like to buy it or rent it, we need to get to a town.
Juan What do you call this I'm living in, a pigsty?
Jack Colton Oh, no this is great...
Juan Hit the road.
Jack Colton No, senor, see we...
Juan Hit-the-road.
Jack Colton But we...
Juan Vaya con dios, gringo.
[points a gun at him]
Jack Colton Okay, Joan Wilder, write us out of this one.
Juan Joan Wilder... Joan Wilder? The Joan Wilder?
Juan You are Joan Wilder, the novelist?
Joan Wilder Well, yes, I am.
Juan I read your books! I read all your books! This is Joan Wilder, who writes the books I read to you on Saturdays!
[turning to his men, in Spanish]
Bad Hombre Juanita... Juanita, it's Juanita!
[awestruck]
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Romancing the Stone
Crocodile Tears and Their Hidden Meaning
Col. Zolo Crocodiles shed tears when they eat their prey. You have heard of these tears I am sure. But have you seen them?
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Romancing the Stone
The Difference Between Hopeless and Hopeful Romantic
Gloria Horne Joanie, you are now a WORLD-CLASS hopeless romantic.
Joan Wilder No, hopeful. Hopeful romantic.
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Romancing the Stone
Unexpected Connections in a Dangerous Situation
Joan Wilder I like your boots.
Jack Colton Yup, that poor old yellow-tailed guy... developed a fatal case of indigestion. He died right in my arms.
Joan Wilder I can't blame him. If I were to die, there's nowhere on earth I'd rather be.
Jack Colton I couldn't stop thinking about you. I even read one of your books.
Joan Wilder Then you know how they all end.
Jack Colton Yeah. Hi.
Joan Wilder Hi.
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Romancing the Stone
From Morning to a Challenging Day
Jack Colton One hell of a morning has turned into a bitch of a day!
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Romancing the Stone
Unexpected Encounters in a Dangerous Situation
Jack Colton Cops! What the hell do they want? I haven't done anything... lately! Wait a minute, he's after you. Who the hell are you?
Joan Wilder Well, I'm a romance novelist.
Jack Colton You're what? What are you doing here?
Joan Wilder I told you, my sister's life depends on me.
Jack Colton Ah, don't give me that shit. I thought you were donating a kidney or something.
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Romancing the Stone
Misunderstandings About Marijuana and Consequences
Joan Wilder What is all this?
[inside a crashed plane they find in the jungle]
Jack Colton All this? About five to life in the States, a couple of centuries down here.
Joan Wilder Oh, marijuana.
Jack Colton Oh, you smoke it?
Joan Wilder I went to college.
[defensively]
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Romancing the Stone
A Conflicted Exchange in October
Grogan What's it gonna be, Angelina?
Joan Wilder It was Grogan: the filthiest, dirtiest, dumbest excuse for a man west of the Missouri River.
[voiceover narration]
Grogan So, you can die two ways, angel: quick like the tongue of a snake, or slower than the molasses in January.
Joan Wilder But it was October.
[voiceover narration]
Grogan I'll kill you, goddammit, if it's the Fourth of July! Where is it? Uhh. Get over there!
Joan Wilder I told him to get out, now that he had what he came for.
[voiceover narration]
Grogan Not quite, angel. Take em off. Do it! Come on!
[spits]
Joan Wilder That was the end of Grogan... the man who killed my father, raped and murdered my sister, burned my ranch, shot my dog, and stole my Bible! But if there was one law of the west: Bastards had brothers, who seemed to ride forever.
[voiceover]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.