32 quotes
Confronting Adversity and Accountability
Max Fischer
I was punched in the face. What's your excuse?
[to Dr. Peter]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Consequences of Choices and Their Worth
Max Fischer
You think I got kicked out for just the aquarium? Nah, it was the handjob. And you wanna know something else? It was worth it.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Academic Consequences at Rushmore Academy
Dr. Nelson Guggenheim
We're putting you on what we call sudden death academic probation.
Max Fischer
And what does that entail?
Dr. Nelson Guggenheim
It entails that if you fail another class, you'll be asked to leave Rushmore.
Max Fischer
In other words, I'll be expelled.
Dr. Nelson Guggenheim
That's correct.
Max Fischer
Can I see some documentation on that, please?
Dr. Nelson Guggenheim
Too many extracurricular activities, Max. Not enough studying.
Max Fischer
Dr. Guggenheim, I don't want to tell you how to do your job. But the fact is, no matter how hard I try, I still might flunk another class. If that means I have to stay on for a post-graduate year, so be it...
Dr. Nelson Guggenheim
- We don't offer a post-graduate year.
Max Fischer
Well, we don't offer it yet.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Vietnam Experience Discussed Between Two Characters
Max Fischer
So you were in Vietnam?
Herman Blume
Yeah.
Max Fischer
Were you in the shit?
Herman Blume
Yeah, I was in the shit.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Apology for Past Actions
Dirk Calloway
I just wanted to say, I'm sorry I threw rocks at you that day.
[to Max]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Finding Passion in Life
Herman Blume
What's the secret, Max?
Max Fischer
The secret?
Herman Blume
Yeah, you seem to have it pretty figured out.
Max Fischer
The secret, I don't know... I guess you've just gotta find something you love to do and then... do it for the rest of your life. For me, it's going to Rushmore.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Character Description in Rushmore
Herman Blume
112 pounds. Black hair. Glasses... Oval face.
[Describing Max to the police]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Reckless Youth and Inappropriate Encounters
Dirk Calloway
...I knew for sure when they went skinny-dipping in Mr. Blume's pool while giving eachother handjobs...
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Max Fischer's To-Do List Update
Max Fischer
Well, tell that stupid mick he just made my list of things to do today.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Exploring Ambition and Sacredness in Art
Magnus Buchan
I always wanted to be in one of your fuckin plays.
Bert Fischer
Are you fond of that moustache?
[to Herman]
Mr. Littlejeans
Best play ever, man.
Rosemary
Nihil Sanctisne?, Is nothing sacred?
Found on Max Fischer's Mother's Grave Stone
All paths of glory lead but to the grave.
Found in the book Diving for Sunken Treasure
When one man, for whatever the reason, has the ability to lead an extraordinary life, he has no right to keep it to himself.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Question of Identity and Connection
Herman Blume
Dirk?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Discussion on Education and Economic Policy
Max Fischer
What was your major?
Rosemary Cross
I didn't have a major, but my thesis was on Latin American economic policy.
Max Fischer
Oh, that's interesting. Did you hear that they're not going to teach Latin anymore?
Rosemary Cross
This was more like Central America.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Misunderstanding Uniforms in a Casual Exchange
Max Fischer
I like your nurse's uniform, guy.
Dr. Peter Flynn
These are O.R. scrubs.
Max Fischer
Oh, are they?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Impact of Divorce on Children
Herman Blume
Kids don't like it when their parents get divorced.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Complexity of Relationships and Personal Struggles
Herman Blume
She's sweet, but she's fucked up.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Balancing Ambitions: Clubs vs. Relationships
Max Fischer
Maybe I'm spending too much of my time starting up clubs and putting on plays. I should probably be trying harder to score chicks. That's all anyone really cares about.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Max Fischer celebrates his theatrical success
Max Fischer
I wrote a hit play!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Herman Blume inquires about Max's plans
Herman Blume
Did Max have something planned for us today? A trip to a museum or something?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Ephemeral Nature of Glory
Max Fischer
Sic transit gloria. Glory fades. I'm Max Fischer....
[to Rosemary]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Urgent Call to Action in Rushmore
Dirk Calloway
There's action across the street. It's Snowman! Take him!
[On a walkie-talkie; static]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Advice on Wealth and Determination
Herman Blume
You guys have it real easy. I never had it like this where I grew up. But I send my kids here because the fact is you go to one of the best schools in the country: Rushmore. Now, for some of you it doesn't matter. You were born rich and you're going to stay rich. But here's my advice to the rest of you: Take dead aim on the rich boys. Get them in the crosshairs and take them down. Just remember, they can buy anything but they can't buy backbone. Don't let them forget it. Thank you.
[Speech to the students of Rushmore Academy]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Safety Gear Announcement in Rushmore
Max Fischer
Also, you'll find a pair of safety glasses and some earplugs under your seats. Please feel free to use them.
[Introducing his play "Heaven and Hell"]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Existential Reflections in a Different Place
Dirk Calloway
I'm not even here right now, I'm in Cheyenne Wyoming.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Common Grief in Family Histories
Max Fischer
So we both have dead people in our families.
[to Rosemary]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Feelings of Loneliness Expressed by Herman Blume
Herman Blume
Mmm, I'm a little bit lonely these days
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Witty Take on Friendship Dynamics
Dirk Calloway
Oh yeah and with friends like you who needs friends?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Max Fischer's College Application Aspirations
Max Fischer
My top schools where I want to apply to are Oxford and the Sorbonne. But my safety's Harvard.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Comment on Marital Status
Dirk Calloway
You're a married man, Blume.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
An Expression of Gratitude for Disruption
Max Fischer
I'm sorry, I just came by to thank you for WRECKING MY LIFE!
[to Rosemary]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Life's Priorities Shift Over Time
Max Fischer
Rushmore was my life, now you are.
[to Rosemary]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Max Fischer's Challenge to Accomplishment
Max Fischer
I saved Latin. What did you ever do?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Parental Reflections on Sons
Herman Blume
Never in my wildest imagination did I ever dream I would have sons like these.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.