Showtime Quotes

Det Mitch Preston Do you feel lucky, punk? Well, do you? I'm too old for this shit. Go on, I dare you.

Mitch Preston This guy's a disgrace to the badge.

Chase Renzi So you'd never work with him?

Preston Never. Not in a million years.

Mitch My ex and I were on the rocks, and my marriage counselor said I needed to take up a hobby.

Trey How come you never got good at it?

Mitch Well, it's kind of like you and police work. I never took it that seriously.

LAAS Officer We're here to take the dog.

Mitch The dog stays.

LAAS Officer We have orders.

Mitch He's a police officer. Touch him and I'll shoot you. Go, go, go. Good boy, Powder. Good boy. Nobody will take you away.

William Shatner You spear the knife into the bag... then pick some of the drugs up with the knife... then lightly press it on your tongue. And that is how TV cops taste drugs!

Mitch What if it's cyanide? There's a reason real cops don't taste drugs.

Det Mitch Preston Being a policeman is not what you see on TV. I've never had to pick between the red and blue wires. Never seen a police car flip and cause other cars to burst into flames. Never had to jump across rooftops. I investigate crimes, track leads and sit in court. It's difficult, tedious work, and you won't get rich. But I've done it for years. I'm a detective. That's what I do. If you break the law, I'll do all I can to hunt you down and put you behind bars. I won't say that I succeed every time. But I try to make sure that if you do the crime, you'll do time. Any questions?

Mitch Why did you want to be a cop, anyway?

Trey Because I was a shitty waiter.

Det Mitch Preston Get that fucking camera out of here!

Cameraman I'm just doing my job!