32 quotes
Jealousy and Comparison in Leadership
Princess Fiona
Stop it. Stop it, both of you! Y'know, you're just jealous that you could never measure up to a great ruler like Lord Farquaad.
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Gingerbread Man's Challenge to Chase
Lord Maximus Farquaad
Run, run, run as fast as you can! You can't catch me! I'm the Gingerbread Man!".
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Demand for Order and Perfection
Lord Maximus Farquaad
...I'll have you locked back in that tower, FOR THE REST OF YOUR DAYS! I AM KING! I WILL HAVE ORDER! I WILL HAVE PERFECTION! I WILL HAVE--!
[his last words; Shrek whistles for Dragon.]
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A Quest for True Love and Adventure
Shrek
Once upon a time, there was a lovely princess. But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort, which could only be broken by love's first kiss. She was locked away in a castle guarded by a terrible fire-breathing dragon. Many brave knights had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison, but none prevailed. She waited in the dragon's keep, in the highest room of the tallest tower, for her true love, and true love's first kiss. Like that's ever gonna happen! What a load of...
[first lines; narrates his storybook; laughs; toilet flushes]
Steve Harwell
Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me / I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed / She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb / In the shape of an "L" on her forehead...| Well, the years start comin and they don't stop comin / Fed to the rules and I hit the ground runnin / Didn't make sense not to live for fun / Your brain gets smart, but your head gets dumb / So much to do, so much to see / So, what's wrong with taking the backstreets? / You'll never know if you don't go, go / You'll never shine if you don't glow...| Hey now, you're an all-star / Get your game on, go play / Hey now, you're a rock star / Get the show on, get paid / And all that glitters is gold / Only shootin stars break the mold...| It's a cool place, and they say it gets colder / You're bundled up now, wait til you get older / But the meteor men beg to differ / Judging by the hole in the satellite picture / The ice we skate is gettin pretty thin / The water's gettin warm, so you might as well swim / My world's on fire, how bout yours? / That's the way I like it, and I'll never get bored...| Hey now, you're an all-star / Get your game on, go play / Hey now, you're a rock star / Get the show on, get paid / All that glitters is gold / Only shootin stars break the mold.
[singing]
Villagers
Go! Go!
Voice
Go for the moon / Go, go, go, go for the moon / Go, go, go, go for the moon / Go, go, go for the moon.
Steve Harwell
Hey now, you're an all-star / Get your game on, go play / Hey now, you're a rock star / Get the show on, get paid / And all that glitters is gold / Only shooting stars...| Somebody once asked, "Could I spare some change for gas? / I need to get myself away from this place" / I said, "Yep, what a concept, I could use a little fuel myself / And we could all use a little change"...| Well, the years start comin and they don't stop comin / Fed to the rules and I hit the ground runnin / Didn't make sense not to live for fun / Your brain gets smart, but your head gets dumb / So much to do, so much to see / So, what's wrong with taking the backstreets? / You'll never know if you don't go, go! / You'll never shine if you don't glow...| Hey now, you're an all-star / Get your game on, go play / Hey now, you're a rock star / Get the show on, get paid / And all that glitters is gold / Only shootin stars break the mold...| Only shootin stars break the mold / Go for the moon / Go for the moon / Go for the moon / This is how we do it...
[singing; song fades]
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Friendship and Honesty in Unlikely Bonds
Shrek
WHY...are you following me?
[to Donkey]
Donkey
I'll tell you why. Cause I'm all alone / There's no one here beside me / My problems have all gone / There's no one to deride me! / But ya gotta have friends!
[singing]
Shrek
Stop singing! Well, it's no wonder you don't have any friends.
Donkey
Wow! Only a true friend would be that truly honest.
Shrek
Listen, little donkey. Take a look at me, what am I?
Donkey
Uh... Really tall?
[looks Shrek up and down]
Shrek
No! I'm an ogre! You know, "Grab your torch and pitchforks!" Doesn't that bother you?
Donkey
Nope.
[shakes his head happily]
Shrek
Really?
[surprised]
Donkey
Really, really.
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Donkey's Bold Declaration of Courage
Donkey
All right, nobody move! I've got a dragon and I'm not afraid to use it! I'm a donkey on the edge!
[atop the dragon after she swallows Farquaad]
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The Quest for the Perfect Kingdom
Lord Maximus Farquaad
Evening. Mirror, mirror, on the wall, is this not the most perfect kingdom of them all?
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Fiona Questions Unexpected Actions
Princess Fiona
Hey, wait! What are you doing?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Shrek's Inquiry About Farquaad's Location
Shrek
All right. Who knows where this Farquaad guy is?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Character's Perspective on Life
Voice Cast
] — ], Blind Mouse #2
[[w:Mike Myers|Mike Myers; [w:Shrek (character)|Shrek]
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Dwarfs Sing While Being Led Away
Guard #1
All right. This one's full. Take it away!
Dwarfs
He ho hi he, dwarf prisoners are we... He ho hi he, dwarf prisoners are we.
Guard #2
Move it along. Come on! Get up!
Captain of the Guard
Next!
[his first words]
Guard #2
Give me that! Your flying days are over.
Captain of the Guard
That's 20 pieces of silver for the witch. Next!
Man
Get up! Come on!
Villager
Twenty pieces.
Guard
Sit down there! Keep quiet!
Little Bear
This cage is too small.
[sadly]
Donkey
Please don't turn me in. I'll never be stubborn again. I can change. Please! Give me another chance!
Old Lady
Oh, shut up.
Donkey
Oh!
Captain of the Guard
Next!
Captain of the Guard
What have you got?
Geppetto
This little wooden puppet.
Pinocchio
I'm not a puppet, I'm a real boy!
Captain of the Guard
Five shillings for the possessed toy. Take it away.
Pinocchio
Father, please! Don't let them do this! Help me!
Captain of the Guard
Next! What've you got?
Old Lady
Well, I've got a talking donkey.
Captain of the Guard
Right. Well, that's good for ten shillings, if you can prove it.
[looks up from his ledger]
Old Lady
Oh, go ahead, little fella.
Captain of the Guard
Well?
Old Lady
Oh, oh, he's just... He's just a little nervous. He's really quite a chatterbox. Talk, you boneheaded dolt...
Captain of the Guard
That's it. I've heard enough. Guards!
Old Lady
No, no, he talks! He does. I can talk. I love to talk! I'm the talkin'est damn thing you ever saw.
[moves Donkey's lips]
Captain of the Guard
Get her outta my sight.
[annoyed]
Old Lady
No, no! I swear! Oh! He can talk!
Donkey
Hey, I can fly!
Peter Pan
He can fly!
Little Pigs
He can fly!
Captain of the Guard
He can talk!
Donkey
Ha, ha! That's right, fool! Now I'm a flying, talking donkey. You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a super fly, but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly. Ha, ha! Uh-oh.
Captain of the Guard
Seize him! After him! He's getting away!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Monsieur Robin Hood's Declaration of Intent
Voice Cast
] — Monsieur Robin Hood
[[w:Vincent Cassel|Vincent Cassel]
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Struggling with Beauty Expectations
Princess Fiona
Yes. But, I don't understand. I'm supposed to be beautiful.
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Donkey's Comment on Large Teeth
Donkey
Oh, what large teeth you have! I-I-I-I...
[gets cornered by Dragon; Dragon roars]
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A Discussion on Home and Belonging
Shrek
I thought I told you to stay outside.
Donkey
I am outside.
Mouse #1
Well, gents, it's a far cry from the farm, but what choice do we have?
Mouse #2
Well, it's not home, but it'll do just fine.
Mouse #3
What a lovely bed!
Shrek
Gotcha!
Mouse #3
I've found some cheese!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Farquaad Demands Action in Conversation
Lord Maximus Farquaad
That's enough! He's ready to talk.
[his first words]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Warning Against Misbehavior
Shrek
All right, you're going the right way for a smacked bottom.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Farquaad's Challenge to the Knights
Lord Maximus Farquaad
Indeed. Knights, new plan! The one who kills the ogre will be named champion! Have at him!
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Authority and Duty in Leadership
Voice Cast
] — Captain of the Guards
[[w:Jim Cummings|Jim Cummings]
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Shrek's Warning to Flee
Shrek
This is the part where you run away.
[whispers]
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The Unconventional Fairy Tale of Shrek
Taglines
The greatest fairy tale never told.
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Shrek's Humorous Farewell and Invitation
Shrek
Thank you! Thank you very much! I'm here til Thursday. Try the veal!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confrontation in the Swamp
Shrek
What are you doing in my swamp?!
[echoes]
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Embracing Identity Amidst Fear and Prejudice
Shrek
No! I'm an ogre. You know. "Grab your torch and pitchforks.
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Shrek Questions the Princess's Location
Shrek
Well, at least we know where the princess is, but where's the...?
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Confrontation in a Fairy Tale World
Gingerbread Man
No!
[Off-screen]
Lord Farquaad
That's enough! He's ready to talk. Run, run, run, as you fast as you can. You can't catch me, I'm the Gingerbread Man!
[his first words; puts him down; Farquaad laughs, then signals for the table to lower]
Gingerbread Man
You're a monster.
Lord Farquaad
I'm not the monster here. You are. You and the rest of that fairy tale trash, poisoning my perfect world. Now, tell me! Where are the others?!
Gingerbread Man
Eat me!
[spits at Farquaad]
Lord Farquaad
I've tried to be fair with you creatures, but now my patience has reached its end! Tell me, or I'll--
[grunts]
Gingerbread Man
No! Not the buttons! Not my gumdrop buttons!
Lord Farquaad
All right, then, who's hiding them?!
Gingerbread Man
Okay! I'll tell you. Do you know the muffin man?
Lord Farquaad
The muffin man?
Gingerbread Man
The muffin man.
Lord Farquaad
Yes. I know the muffin man. Who-who lives on Drury Lane?
Gingerbread Man
Well, she's married to the muffin man.
Lord Farquaad
The muffin man?!
Gingerbread Man
THE MUFFIN MAN!
Lord Farquaad
She's married to the muffin man.
Captain of the Guard
My lord! We found it.
[his last words]
Lord Farquaad
Then what are you waiting for? Bring it in.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Villagers Discuss Potential Danger of a Creature
Villager
I think it's in there?
Villager Chris
All right, LET'S GET IT!
Villager James
Whoa, Hold on! Do you know what that thing could do to you?
Villager Mike
Yeah, it'll grind your bones for its bread!
Shrek
Yes. Well, actually, that would be a giant. Now, ogres - oh, they're much worse. They'll make a suit from your freshly peeled skin!
[exposes himself]
Villagers
No!
Shrek
They'll shave your liver, squeeze the jelly from your eyes! Actually, it's quite good on toast.
Villager James
Back! Back, beast! Back! I warn ya! Right.
[waves his torch in front of Shrek; Shrek calmly licks his fingers and extinguishes the torch like a match; he smiles nervously]
Shrek
This is the part where you run away. And stay out! Wanted. Fairy tale creatures.
[whispers; the villagers do so; laughs; looks down at a sign; sighs]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Fantasy Characters in a Chaotic Exchange
Peter Pan
He can fly!
Big Bad Wolf
What?
Thelonious
Three! Pick number three, my lord!
Wrestling Fan
The chair! Give him the chair!
Monsieur Hood
Please, monster! Can't you see I'm a little busy?
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Ogre Hunters Express Their Determination
Voice Cast
]Clive Pearse — Ogre Hunters
[[w:Peter Dennis|Peter Dennis]
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Strangers Bond Over Privacy and Awkwardness
Donkey
I guess you don't, uh, entertain much, do you?
[eyes the KEEP OUT signs surrounding Shrek's home]
Shrek
I like my privacy.
Donkey
You know, I do too! That's another thing we have in common. Like I hate it when you've got someone in your face, you try to give em a hint, they won't leave, and then there's that big awkward silence, you know... ...Can I stay with you?
[silence ensues]
Shrek
Uh, what?
Donkey
Can I stay with you... please?
Shrek
Of course!
Donkey
Really?
Shrek
No.
Donkey
Please! I don't wanna go back there! You don't know what it's like to be considered a freak! Well, maybe you do. But that's why we gotta stick together! You gotta let me stay! Please, please!
[slight pause; Shrek gives Donkey a look]
Shrek
Okay! Okay. But one night only.
Donkey
Ah, thank you!
Shrek
Ah! What are you... No, no, no!
Donkey
This is gonna be fun. We can stay up late, swappin manly stories, and in the mornin', I'm makin waffles!
Shrek
Ohh!
Donkey
Where do, uh, I sleep?
Shrek
Outside!
Donkey
Oh, ah, I guess that's cool. I mean, I don't know you, and you don't know me, so I guess outside is best, you know. Here I go. Good night.
[sniffs; sighs]
Donkey
I mean, I do like the outdoors. I'm a donkey. I was born outside. I'll just be sitting by myself outside, I guess, you know. Sit by myself, outside. I'm all alone, there's no one here beside me.
[singing]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Ogres and Onions: A Comparison Explained
Shrek
Okay, uh, ogres are like onions.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Fairy Tales Reimagined Through Unconventional Characters
Taglines
The Prince isn't charming. The Princess isn't sleeping. The sidekick isn't helping. The ogre is the hero. Fairy tales will never be the same again.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.