22 quotes
Butch Meathook's Perspective on Conflict
Voice actors
] - Butch Meathook
[[Jim Brown]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Negotiation Turns Hostile in Small Soldiers Scene
Phil Fimple
Hi! I'm Phil Fimple. I'm here to negotiate the surrender of the, uh... ]. Now here's our proposal: take them!
[[w:Gorgonzola|Gorgonzolas]
Insaniac
Hey! He's selling us down the river! The guy's a regular ]
[listening from inside; [w:Benedict Arnold|Arnold Benedict!]
Phil Fimple
I mean, switch em off, take em apart, steal their batteries, whatever it is you... people do. Hey... is that my JVC?!
[notices speakers covered by a net]
Chip Hazard
There will be no surrender! There will be no mercy! All Gorgonite scum must die!
Link Static
Yeah! Bomb em all the way back to preschool!
Chip Hazard
Recon estimates Gorgonite scum strength at 16!
Christy Fimple
Sixteen? Where'd they get sixteen from?
Larry Benson
Seven Gorgonites and nine people.
Phil Fimple
Well, you heard our proposal...
[nervously]
Stuart Abernathy
Phil, get in here! Hurry!
[opening the door]
Chip Hazard
These negotiations are over!
Chip Hazard
We are the Commando Elite! Everything else... is just a toy!
Alan Abernathy
What are they doing?
Irene Abernathy
Psychological warfare.
Christy Fimple
The Marines did this against ].
[[w:Manuel Noriega|Noriega]
Marion Fimple
Phil? Phil!
Phil Fimple
What?
Marion Fimple
I love this song!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Consequences of Advanced Technology
Taglines
GloboTech Defense Systems. In a secret lab, the world's most advanced military microprocessor has been created. But the ] is over. For GloboTech to survive, new markets must be found. Now, all that power has been placed into the brain of a fighting machine unlike any known to man. They made it strong. They made it clever. They made it... small. They made... a mistake.
[from theatrical trailer; [Cold War]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Disillusionment of Corporate Reality
Larry Benson
Pretty exciting, huh?
Irwin Wayfair
I don't know. I think it's kinda sad. I mean, you know Heartland ] has a long tradition of bringing ] to kids, ya know? Gil Mars isn't going to care about any of that. He's just gonna care about ]s. I think it sucks.
[[Toys; [joy; [profit]
Larry Benson
Welcome to ], Irwin. You may not be familiar with our company, but this is pretty much the way things work down here in the real world.
[[Earth]
Irwin Wayfair
Yeah, well, the real world sucks.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Character Reflection in Small Soldiers
Voice actors
] - Kip Killigan
[[w:Ernest Borgnine|Ernest Borgnine]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Toy Conflict and Customer Service Disappointment
Alan Abernathy
The Commando Elite wrecked my dad's store and destroyed the Gorgonites!
[on the phone to Globotech]
GloboTech Telephone Operator
The Commando Elite are designed to fight the Gorgonites.
Alan Abernathy
They didn't fight them, they destroyed them, and now they're gone!
GloboTech Telephone Operator
I'm sorry, but Heartland Play Systems does not replace lost toys.
Alan Abernathy
I didn't lose them! Look, is there a machine I can talk to? Just transfer me to a machine!
GloboTech Telephone Operator
Bye. Have a nice day, ma'am.
Alan Abernathy
I'm not a "ma'am"!
[aghast]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Concerns About Toy Safety and Standards
Irwin Wayfair
We can't have toys out on the market that may be dangerous.
Larry Benson
How can they be dangerous? Everything on them is standard. The design is standard, the materials are standard, the mechanicals are standard. Even the-- Oh.
[realizing]
Irwin Wayfair
What's "Oh"?
Larry Benson
What?
Irwin Wayfair
You just said "Oh.
Larry Benson
No, l said "Oh.
Irwin Wayfair
Err, "Oh" like "That's interesting", or "Oh" like "We're screwed"?
Larry Benson
No. l mean, hey, whoa, oh. Look, forget the "Oh." I'll go to Legal to start on the countersuit, all right--
Irwin Wayfair
The chips! That's the "Oh"!
Larry Benson
Oh.
Irwin Wayfair
Yeah. These micro-processing chips, what do they do and where did you get them from?
Larry Benson
They, you know, micro-process. And they come from the land of "I Saved Your Job." Come on.
Irwin Wayfair
They were designed for the Department of Defense. You put munitions chips in toys?!
[looks up the chips on his computer; shocked]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Big Action and Trouble with Small Soldiers
Taglines
Big Action! Big Trouble! Big Movie! Small Soldiers!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Character's Perspective on Combat and Strategy
Voice actors
] - Brick Bazooka
[[w:George Kennedy|George Kennedy]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Call to Action in Small Soldiers
Voice actors
] - Punch-It
[[w:Harry Shearer|Harry Shearer]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Character Reflection in Small Soldiers
Voice actors
] - Slamfist/Scratch-It
[[w:Christopher Guest|Christopher Guest]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Impact of Technology on Warfare
Voice actors
] - Link Static
[[w:Bruce Dern|Bruce Dern]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Debate on Reality of Living Toys
Phil Fimple
Is this entire household insane?! He says that toy is alive just because it can move a little? What's next, the ] drops by with a ]
[pointing at Archer; [w:Fairy with Turquoise Hair|Blue Fairy; [w:Talking Cricket|talking cricket?!]
Christy Fimple
Dad, he's telling the truth!
Phil Fimple
He's brainwashed you, hasn't he? Don't worry, honey. We'll get you the best deprogrammer money can buy.
Slamfist
You can't change programming.
[listening in from a shelf]
Marion Fimple
Look! Another one...
[still intoxicated]
Alan Abernathy
See? I told you they were hiding. It's what they do.
Phil Fimple
That's it. Come on, Christy. Timmy, Marion, we're out of here.
Stuart Abernathy
Hey, don't be a stranger, Phil.
Irwin Wayfair
Hi. Uh, yes, we're with Heartland Play Systems, Consumer Satisfaction. Is there an Alan Abernathy here?
Timmy Fimple
That's Alan, right there.
[points at Alan]
Larry Benson
How you doing? We understand you acquired some of our fine products.
Irwin Wayfair
There's a chance they might be... defective.
Larry Benson
But there's no reason to think they could do any harm.
Stuart Abernathy
Oh, there's reasons!
Alan Abernathy
There is a problem with the Commandos.
Larry Benson
Really? What kind of problem? Bear in mind, you will be called into court to support your claim.
Stuart Abernathy
YOUR TOYS NEARLY KILLED MY SON!
Irene Abernathy
Stuart--
Stuart Abernathy
Don't say "calm down"! Calm was killing me. And you! You owe my son an apology!
[to Phil]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Character Reflection in Small Soldiers
Voice actors
] - Nick Nitro
[[w:Clint Walker|Clint Walker]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Dolls Engage in Lighthearted Conversation
Alan Abernathy
Are you all right?
Gwendy Doll 1
All my make-up is cruelty-free!
Gwendy Doll 2
You come here often?
Gwendy Doll 3
Will you take me to the prom?
Gwendy Doll 4
If you can't accessorize, pulverize!
[wielding blades]
Gwendy Doll 5
You've been a bad boy! And now you must be punished!
Gwendy Doll 6
Watch out, girls! Hissy fit!
Gwendy Doll 5
You're to die for!
[still threatening Alan]
Gwendy Doll 7
Run! She's got a baton!
Gwendy Doll 8
It's a ]
[[w:Bataan Death March|Baton Death March!]
Gwendy Doll 9
She's gone postal!
Gwendy Doll 10
Oh, I broke a nail...
Christy Fimple
I ALWAYS HATED THESE THINGS!
Gwendy Doll 11
Oh, the humanity!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Few, The Proud, And The Small
Taglines
The few, the proud, and the small.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Concerns Over Chips and Electromagnetic Pulse
Larry Benson
Great! All we need now is a nuclear warhead.
Stuart Abernathy
I'll check, but I don't think I have one in the junk drawer.
Phil Fimple
Nuclear warhead"? What are you talking about?
Larry Benson
It's the chips! They're not shielded against an electromagnetic pulse. A nuclear blast would wipe them out.
Irwin Wayfair
That's why the military never used them.
Stuart Abernathy
Well, what kind of moron would put military technology in toys?
Irwin Wayfair
Oh, that would be "Gizmo" over here.
[pointing at Larry]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Potential and Pitfalls of Advanced Technology
Ralph Quist
The X1000 is a masterpiece. Imagine a microchip sophisticated enough to control the guidance systems of ballistic missiles. Imagine it can be used to instantly upgrade any system that it's plugged into, like a smart drug for machines. Then imagine it can learn.
Irwin Wayfair
Wh-What are you talking about, ]?
[nervously; [artificial intelligence]
Ralph Quist
No. Actual intelligence. It's no wonder those philistines at the Pentagon didn't appreciate it. One little flaw, and they scrap the whole project!
Irwin Wayfair
Ah-ha, so there is a flaw in the chips.
Ralph Quist
Well... they're a little sensitive to EMP.
Irwin Wayfair
EMP? ]?
[[w:Electromagnetic pulse|Electromagnetic pulse]
Ralph Quist
Yeah, the kind generated by the detonation of a nuclear device? I doubt even the toy industry has become quite that competitive! They said adequate shielding wasn't cost-effective. Did the ] ever tell ] "Sorry, Mike, but marble's not really cost-effective, here's a bag of cement"?! I think not!
[scoffs; [w:House of Medici|Medicis; [w:Michelangelo|Michelangelo; sneezes]
Irwin Wayfair
Gesundheit.
Ralph Quist
Thank you.
Larry Benson
Look, there really shouldn't be any problem, right? Just because the chips can learn.
Ralph Quist
Am I not being clear? They can learn within the boundaries of their primary programming. Whatever the core programming, the X1000 enhances it from within. So, if you've got a problem, it's in your software.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Character Reflection on Power and Control
Voice actors
] - Insaniac/Troglokhan
[[w:Michael McKean|Michael McKean]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Innovative Ideas for Next-Generation Toys
Gil Mars
Y'know what I'm sick of? I'm sick of commercials that show us 4x4 trucks popping up to the top of ] and parking on top of ]'s head, okay? I'm sick of shampoo commercials that try to convince women that they can look like ] after one cycle of rinse and repeat. What if these toys could actually talk? What if they could walk? What if they could actually kick ass? I'm talking about toys that are so smart, when kids play with them, they play back. Toys, in short, gentlemen, that actually do what they do in the commercials.
[[w:Mount Rushmore|Mt. Rushmore; [Abraham Lincoln; [w:Claudia Schiffer|Claudia Schiffer]
Irwin Wayfair
Well, that's an interesting idea.
Gil Mars
Forget about this batteries-not-included crap. We're gonna stick in a lifetime Globotech lithium cell. Keep these things running forever. That'll piss off the guys at ].
[[w:Eveready Battery Company|Eveready]
Larry Benson
Yeah. Hey, how's this for a slogan? "The Commando Elite: Anything else is just a toy.
[chuckles]
Gil Mars
Everything else is just a toy.
Larry Benson
Th-That's good, too. Sure.
Irwin Wayfair
Uh, sir? Uh, you know, that kind of, uh, computing power doesn't really seem feasible right now, and--
Larry Benson
Irwin, Irwin. We're members of the GloboTech family. Surely, we can hunt down that technology.
Gil Mars
We can make missiles that can hunt down one unlucky bastard 7,000 miles away and stick a nuclear warhead right up his ass. I don't think we're gonna have a problem with this.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Soldier's Determination in Battle
Voice actors
] - Chip Hazard
[[Tommy Lee Jones]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Archer's Perspective on Conflict and Strategy
Voice actors
] - Archer
[[w:Frank Langella|Frank Langella]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.