12 quotes
Uncertainty About the Future After Graduation
Adrian Toomes
So, what are you gonna do, Pete?
Peter
Huh?
Toomes
After you graduate, what are you gonna do?
Peter
Um, I don't know.
Toomes
I just figure, with you guys going to that school, you pretty much have your whole lives planned out, right?
Liz
Peter has an internship with Tony Stark, so I'm pretty sure he doesn't have to worry.
Toomes
Really? Stark? What do you do?
Peter
Actually, I don't intern for him anymore.
[nervous]
Liz
Really?
Peter
Yeah, it got... boring.
Liz
Boring? You got to hang out with Spider-Man!
Toomes
Really? Spider-Man?! What's he like?
Peter
Yeah, he's... nice. Solid dude.
Toomes
I've seen you around, right? Because, even the voice...
Liz
He does academic decathlon, and he was at my party.
Peter
It was a great party, really beautiful house, lots of windows...
Liz
You were there for like, two seconds.
Peter
I was there longer than two seconds.
Liz
You disappeared, like you always do, like you did in D.C., too.
Toomes
Terrible what happened down there in D.C., though. Pretty scary. Bet you were glad that your old pal Spider-Man showed up in the elevator, though?
[Considering these details]
Peter
I actually... didn't go up that day, I saw it from the ground.
Toomes
Good old Spider-Man. You head in there, gumdrop. I'm gonna give Peter the old "dad talk".
[they arrive at Homecoming]
Liz
Don't let him intimidate you. Have a safe flight!
[to Peter]
Toomes
Does she know?
[turning to Peter, with a pistol in his hand but not aiming at him]
Peter
Know what?
Toomes
So she doesn't, good. Close to the vest, I admire that. I've got a few secrets of my own. Of all the reasons I didn't want my daughter to date! Peter, nothing is more important to me than family. You saved my daughter's life, and I could never forget something like that, so I'll give you one chance. You ready? You walk through those doors, and you forget any of this happened. And don't you ever, ever interfere with my business again, because if you do, I will kill you, and everyone that you love. I'll kill you dead. That's what I'll do to protect my family. Pete, you understand? I just saved your life. Now, what do you say?
Peter
...Thank you.
Toomes
You're welcome. Now, you go in there, and you show my daughter a good time, okay? Just not too good.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Discussion of an unknown location
Ned
It stopped.
Peter
Maryland?
Ned
What's there?
Peter
Dunno. Evil lair?
Ned
Evil lair?!
Peter
Dude, a gang with alien guns run by a guy with wings? Yeah, they have a lair.
Ned
Badass.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Activation of Enhanced Combat Mode
Peter
Wow, they're in the middle of a heist! I could catch them all red-handed, this is awesome! Okay, I'm gonna get a little closer so I can see what's happening.
Karen (the Suit lady)
Would you like me to engage enhanced combat mode?
Peter
Enhanced combat mode? Yeah!
Karen
Activating Instant-Kill!
Peter
What?! No, no, no, I don't wanna kill anybody!
Karen
De-activating Instant-Kill.
Peter
What the hell just happened, what was that?
Karen
You jumped off a sign and then landed on your face.
[helpful]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Captain America Fitness Challenge Announcement
Steve Rogers
Hi, I'm Captain America. Whether in the classroom, or on the battlefield, physical fitness can be the difference between success or failure. Today my good friend, your gym teacher, will be conducting the Captain America Fitness Challenge.
Gym Teacher
Thank you, Captain. I'm pretty sure this guy is a war criminal now, but whatever, I have to show these videos; it's required by the state.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Navigating Secrets in Relationships
Peter
Should I tell Liz that I'm Spider-Man?
Karen
Who is Liz?
Peter
Who is Liz? She's the best; she's awesome. She's just a girl that goes to my school. But yeah, I really want to tell her... it's just really weird, you know? "Hey,... I'm Spider-Man.
Karen
What's weird about that?
Peter
Well, what if she's expecting someone like Tony Stark? Imagine how disappointed she'd be if she sees me.
Karen
Well, if I were her, I wouldn't be disappointed at all.
Peter
Aw, thanks Karen. It's really nice to have somebody to talk to.
[beat]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Discovery of a Mysterious Power Source
Ned
Whoa, what is that?
Peter
I dunno, but some guy tried to vaporize me with it.
Ned
Seriously? Awesome! I mean, not awesome... totally uncool, that guy.
Peter
I think it's some kind of power source.
Ned
Yeah, but it's connected to all these retro-processors. That's an inductive charging plate: it's what I use to charge my toothbrush.
Peter
So whoever is making these weapons is obviously combining alien tech with ours.
Ned
That is literally the coolest sentence anyone has ever said. I just want to thank you for letting me be a part of your journey.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Tough Love and Mentorship in Superhero Training
Tony Stark/Iron Man
Sorry I took your suit. I mean, you had it coming. Actually, it turns out it was the perfect sort of tough love moment that you needed, to urge you on, right? Don't you think?... let's just say it was. Look, you screwed the pooch hard. Big time. But then you did the right thing: you took the dog to the clinic, you raised the hybrid puppies... alright, not my best analogy. I just wanted to mention that I think with a little more mentoring, you could be a real asset to the team. There's about 50 reporters behind that door, real ones, not bloggers, so when you're ready... why don't you try that on, and we'll introduce the world to the newest official member of the Avengers: The Spider-Man.
[to Peter at the Avengers' new base; reveals the Iron Spider armor]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Conflict Between Mentor and Protégé
Tony Stark
Previously on Peter Screws The Pooch, I tell you to stay away from this. Instead, you hacked a multi-million-dollar suit so you could sneak around behind my back doing the one thing I told you not to do.
Peter
Is everyone okay?
Stark
No thanks to you.
Peter
No thanks to me? Those weapons were out there, and I tried to tell you about it, but you didn't listen. None of this would've happened if you'd just listened to me! If you actually cared, you'd be here.
Stark
I did listen, kid. Who do you think called the FBI, huh? Did you know that I was the only one who believed in you? Everyone else said I was crazy to recruit a 14-year-old kid.
[walks toward Peter who repeatedly steps back]
Peter
I'm 15.
Stark
No, this is where you ZIP IT, alright? The adult is talking! What if somebody had died tonight? Different story, right? Because that's on you. And if you died, I think that's on me. I don't need that on my conscience.
[angered at smart-alecky remark]
Peter
Yes sir.
Stark
Yes..
Peter
I'm sorry.
Stark
Sorry doesn't cut it -
Peter
I understand. I just wanted to be like you.
Stark
Then I wanted you to be better. Okay, it's not working out. I'm gonna need the suit back.
Peter
For how long?
Stark
Forever. Yeah that's how long it takes.
Peter
No! No, no, no! Please, please!
[overlaps]
Stark
Let's have it
Peter
You don't understand! It's all I have. I'm nothing without this suit!
Stark
If you're nothing without this suit, then you shouldn't have it, okay? God, I sound like my dad.
Peter
I don't have any other clothes.
Stark
Okay, we'll sort that out.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Peter Parker comments on missed opportunity.
Peter Parker/Spider-Man
Hey guys! The illegal weapons deal ferry was at 10:30, ya missed it!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Responsibility Over Homework in Spider-Man's Life
Taglines
Homework can wait. The city can't.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Seeking Help with Facial Recognition Technology
Peter
Karen, what's up?
Karen
Hey Peter, how was your Spanish quiz?
Peter
I was wondering if you could help me: I'm trying to figure out who the guys were under the bridge that night, but I can only kinda remember part of the license plate-
Karen
I can run facial recognition on the footage from that encounter.
Peter
Footage?
Karen
Yes Peter, I record everything you see.
Peter
Everything?
Karen
Everything. It's called a baby monitor protocol.
Peter
Yeah, of course it is. Alright, just roll it back to last Friday.
Karen
With pleasure.
Peter
Hey, everybody, kickass party! Hey Liz, Peter's told me a lot about you...
[in recording, doing impressions in his bathroom mirror]
Peter
No, no, this is just me messing around. Go later in the day.
Peter
Verily, it is I, Thor, son of Odin!
[in recording; flexes]
Peter
No, this is definitely not what you want to watch-
Karen
Your impressions are very funny.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Discussion About Peter's Nationals Status
Cindy
Wait, what's going on?
Girl
Peter's not going to Nationals.
Cindy
No, no, no.
Abe
Why not?
Liz
Really, right before Nationals?
Michelle
He already quit marching band and robotics lab. I'm not obsessed with him, I'm just very observant.
[students stare at her]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.