14 quotes
Comment on a birthmark's appearance
Mary Katherine Gallagher
Your birthmark looks like shit!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Nervous Habits and Unusual Comforts
Mary Katherine Gallagher
Sometimes, when I get nervous, I stick my hands under my armpits and then I smell them like this!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Humorous Take on Unusual Names
Mary Katherine Gallagher
Well, you should be embarrassed because your parents named you after bottled water!
[to Evian]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confrontation Over Substance Use and Responsibility
Father
Thomas Smith?
Thomas
Here! But I don't know where here is man, cause I'm so wasted man!
Father
Thomas, it is a sin to even pretend that you-you-you're baked.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Telekinesis and Revenge at the Prom
Grandma Gallagher
Mary Katherine, what are you doing?
Mary Katherine Gallagher
I'm using my telekineses to kill the girl who poured pigs blood on me at the prom.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Conversations About Family Tragedies
Mary Katherine Gallagher
So what really happened to your parents?
Slater
They were savagely ripped apart and eaten by a school of hammerhead sharks.
Mary Katherine Gallagher
That happens a lot.
Father Ritley
Mary Katherine, what was that horrible thing you said to Sister Eileen?
Mary Katherine Gallagher
I told her to move her big white butt or I would cold cock her honky ass.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Lighthearted Exchange on Dietary Choices
Father Ritley
Body of Christ.
Evian Graham
Are these non-fat?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confrontation of Identity and Self-Respect
Mary Katherine Gallagher doing a Bully Voice
Oh look at you, my pretty little girl, sitting there with your face all painted up in your little halter top, you're nothing but a little slut.
Mary Katherine Gallagher doing a Puerto Rican Lady Voice
Don't call me that, I'm a Puerto Rican lady senior.
Mary Katherine Gallagher doing a Bully Voice
You're nothing but a little slut, Sybill Ann Dorsett, we know you're a little slut!
Mary Katherine Gallagher doing a Puerto Rican Lady Voice
I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut, I AIN'T NO SLUT! (breaks the door, falls on the ground and cries.)
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Self-Reflection in a Bottle
Mary Katherine Gallagher
Go drink a bottle of yourself!
[to Evian]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Expression of Unwavering Enthusiasm
Mary Katherine Gallagher
SUPERSTAR!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Exploring the Nature of Divine Encounters
Mary Katherine Gallagher
Oh, my God!
Jesus
Oh, my me, how are you?
Mary Katherine Gallagher
It's going OK. Are you the Lord?
Jesus
Well, to you, I am. See, technically, you're like in this REM sleep state, and I'm a mixture of your mind's images of God, some past authority figures, uh, Sky/sky, and your dad. Basically, your subconscious came up with me to help you deal. Dig?
Mary Katherine Gallagher
Yeah... uh, you want a glass of water or something?
Jesus
No, I'm good. I'm God!
Mary Katherine Gallagher
Oh. Right.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Threat Inspired by Telekinesis
Mary Katherine Gallagher
If I was Sissy Spacek in the movie Carrie, I'm gonna use my telekinesis to KILL you!
[to Evian]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Resilience and Reversal in Conflict
Mary Katherine Gallagher
Are you aware that I am rubber/glutter, and you are glue, and whatever you say to me bounces off, of me, and sticks to you? So put that in your, back pocket.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Body Image and Support Needs
Mary Katherine Gallagher
These are my BREASTS. They're so BIG. I need a BRA to strap them and support because they're so HUGE they need to be hooked and strapped for support. My big boobs, this one is bigger than this one cause is the mommy and that's the baby, and this one is very nice to this one and they hold hands because they're FRIENDS, okay?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.